Why do I push people away?

Question

I realized that ever since I was a child,I've pushed people away.Either by cruel remarks/teasing or negative sarcasm.People pointed it out to me early in life and I just brushed it off.When I did do it,I though it was funny/cool..now I realize all I did was alienate myself /make enemies.I don't have any friends or healthy relationships and the ones I ruined I don't think I'll get back.I've been like this for as long as I can remember......Why am I this way? Is there anyone like me?

Yeah my mom was pretty abusiveand my dad was nonexistent exceptfor when he popped up to treat me like a charity case and disappear shortly after.I have 5 brothers and sisters.

Answer 1

I know what you're going through. It's most likely because the people that you considered "close" to you have either hurt you and/or abandoned you. Therefore, you are afraid of intimacy and getting close to anyone because it has been nothing but painful in the past. You just don't want to be vulnerable anymore so if you put up a wall, you subconciously are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt. I've done this too for years, not from sarcasm but from self sabatoging and defeating behaviors when I got in relationships. Deep down, when you are like this, you don't trust anyone. You really want to be loved but are too scared because of the many times you've been hurt. So it's hard to build trust from scratch but it can be done. If you can, try to get some kind of therapy. Or at least, go to the library and read up on some self help books.The first step is awareness. I'm sure you are a strong person, having to go through what you have. My heart goes out to you...

Answer 2

Hi all you can do is say to yourself that you are going to change the way you are with other people and the way you treat/talk to them, you don't just get respect you have to earn it. You will make friends but you got to understand the meaning of friendship or sadly it will not last. Start thinking positive an get rid of all the negativity in your life, you have to start somewhere. Life can get good for you but you got to let it, stop putting up the brick walls.Smile be happy people notice a smile an will smile with you.

Answer 3

To me it doestn matter why or how you got that way what matters is you notice it now, so you can change it. ( I know easier said then done) But I know first hand it can be done and it wont be over night it took me years to delete personality defects I was taught when I was younger and it has been 15 yrs and I am still deleting and adding better ones. And boy is it hard but you are not alone just most dont care someone is like that unless they have it aimed at them. So alls you can really do is make an improvement on yourself and people will notice and you will gain friends.

Answer 4

in basic terms slightly of the two. I do the numerous pushing each and every so often while i'm afraid to get too close and don't desire to get injury. and each so often i'm getting pushed away, for god in basic terms knows what reason.

Answer 5

Look.I'm a teenager and my parents say the exact same thing to me...and,yes, from time to time i push people away..I just can't control it, it's in my character.I mean, a few weeks ago i recorded a video, where i was teasing my best friend, and we both had fun.but when i heard my voice, i sounded so hostile....i didnt know i sounded like this, and i didnt mean to...so yes, there are people like you.!loads of them!

Answer 6

Did your mom and dad use to treat you like you were a pain in the ***. Or they did not want you? Do you have any brothers and sisters?

Answer 7

Maybe it's your way of saying that you want their attention and caring. Sometimes we tend to say things that aren't what we mean (maybe poor use of words or something like that...)