My wife is not the most loved up person,what can i do to change that and make her more loving towards me?
2007-09-28 23:26:50 · 12 answers · asked by Paul R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You mean more affectionate and interested in you? Let me ask something...was she ever an affectionate, loving person, or has her personality always been one that is physically and emotionally distant?
If she once was affectionate and loving, and now isn't, you need to find out what has changed. The best way that I've experienced was when my partner waited until we had some relaxed time without kids around --a weekend afternoon worked fine. He suggested we go out for a casual lunch (pancakes, nothing fancy). At the restaurant, he took my hand and said very kindly "You haven't been yourself. It;s almost like your mad at me, but don't want to start a fight. I miss being close to you. Can we talk about it? I want to make things right between us".
That he let me know how deeply he cared, and that he missed me allowed me to trust him enough to share what was causing me to withdraw (he'd been showing more and more loyalty to his career and less and less to his family). Because he didn't ask in an accusatory way "What's wrong with you??", and let me know that he was feeling as uncomfortable as I was, we were able to have a conversation that healed much of the alienation.
My partner also acted upon what I said...he apologized for making me feel less-than-important to him, but also told me his side. He'd been putting his all into the job because the demands were heavy and he didn't want to risk getting downsized and putting us all in financial jeopardy.
By letting me know that he cared and most importantly, that he needed me, we were able to pull out of what was becoming chronic anger and misunderstanding. Our relationship became much closer, and nobody is complaining about lack of affection anymore.
Of course, if your wife has always been emotionally distant, I doubt that anything will change her into someone else.
Good luck.
Hint: gifts or flowers without action just piss women off. If you want to lead with a gift, make sure you also SHARE what's on your heart!
2007-09-28 23:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by Susan C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most men and i mean 99% don't no how to please a woman in bed you only think you do because we get tied of telling you and showing you. After awhile we just give up and let you think you are the greatest lover we ever had. If you men would just play attention to the signs like, are you almost there yet, I'm starting to get dry, or I'm coming you better hurry. Do you get the picture. Make us happy in the bed room and we will be more loving toward you. Don't be offended just do something about it like ask her what she would like you to do and then do it just like she said. some guys will do it right and then move a different way and for us it's over we lost the feeling so we have to start all over again so we get mad and give up and pretend to have an orgasm. Any woman who tell you she has never pretended is lying through their teeth. We women have gotten pretty dam convincing over the years.Lets face it it doesn't take much to convince you men a little noise here and there. No offense but we women really don't need to have an orgasm every time we make love like you men do it feels just as good well almost as good as when we do.
2007-09-28 23:51:53 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The definition of love in 1 Cor will not be a definition of love in marriage...Is it the definition wherein all Christians must reveal love to everybody...It is the definition of Agape (or perfect) love...The love that Christ demonstrated to us when he died on the pass...However it's not the definition of marital love. Check out Proverbs 31 it might shed light on how you can be a respectful wife... And to answer your other question I think other halves have any such difficult time respecting their husbands because they're human beings with flaws and insecurities and it is tough to illustrate Godly, religious characteristics whilst you are living in the flesh. Edit:doingmybest first-rate reference and quality guide!!
2016-08-04 18:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wasn't like that as first then she isn't going to change. If she started out like that tell her that you miss the way she use to be. Discuss how you feel with her. Do something special for her like a candle light dinner, give her a message. Court her all over again and treat her like she is your girlfriend instead of your wife.
2007-09-28 23:39:08 · answer #4 · answered by moonchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry but I dont see how you can MAKE her change. as far as the more loving towards you... maybe the change needs to start with you... do little things for her see if you dont get a response from her.
2007-09-29 00:59:12 · answer #5 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to have sex with your wife tomorrow night, begin tomorrow morning.
Sex, for a woman, needs to be proceeded by foreplay and I'm not talking about rubbing her boobs for two minutes before you pull her panties off.
ALL DAY!
Hugs, rubs, kisses, a pinch here or there. Whatever gets her motor running even if she pushes you away at the time that may get her 'in the mood'.
2007-09-28 23:35:13 · answer #6 · answered by wroockee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Show her the love. Get her a gift take her out to dinner, and most important that you giver her everything that she desires in bed. Sexually and also maybe and nice home made breakfast in bed.
2007-09-28 23:36:30 · answer #7 · answered by Awsome S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show her more attention out of the bedroom that doesnt pertain to sex. if the only time she gets attention from you is when you want some ,then thats not right. you need to show her you love her in other ways and talk and listen to her and be a friend.
2007-09-29 02:03:35 · answer #8 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a personalized novel starring you and your wife. http://www.bookbyyou.com/pirates/default.asp
It worked for me. Big time. : )
2007-09-29 00:04:59 · answer #9 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you doing to make her not so loving.Sometimes us women have a reason.See if there is a problem.Talk to her.
2007-09-29 00:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by lollypop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋