Any help for an Adult Survivor of Bullying?

Question

I'm 24 and I went through severe bullying when I was in grade, middle, and high school. Some of the same people who bullied me went to the same schools as I. I can't help but hurt over what happen. I try to understand and take it all in. As a child I never told about the abuse and bullying I endured at home and at school, I thought it was normal, the hurt I should have expressed then, I'm doing it now. It's like I'm making up for past hurt. I sometimes think it was my fault for letting the bullies get away with what they did, I wish I would have fought back.My question is where can I find support and help as an adult I'm still dealing with past wounds. I suffer from depression, post traumatic stress, anxiety. Anyone know of any help groups, forums, sites? Anyone went through bullying or was a bully? Let me know your story. I believe adults still need encourage, support, help sometimes because victims of bullying and abuse have their times of relapse and still secretly hurting.

I appreciate all the replies. Don't think I won't move on and live, I have to but the past is my life and to understand why I am how I am now, I had to look back instead of running from it like I did all my life, to heal. I accept what happen, I can't change it. I guess I'm trying to understand the bullies mindset. I was getting it from home and at school, had no protection or safe haven had no guts to talk about it. Now I can and I hope my past equips me to help young kids who are going through hell. Victim is someone who's attacked undeservingly. I expect people who haven't been through abuse to say get over it, obviously experts and professionals on abuse and bullying don't say so because they know the effects of physical violence, verbal and mental abuse. No, one would bully me now, I would fight to death now. Whether victims are able to move on or not, their still should be help for adults of abuse and bullying, because we become adults don't mean we don't need support sometimes

Answer 1

You have to move on.
Make a new life for yourself and get over it. If you dwell on it, it will eat you up inside.
Just be a better person then the idiots who bullied you were.
Prove to yourself and to them that you came through it on top and became a better person for it.

Answer 2

I was bullied all my life, until about seven years ago. I made up my mind that I didn't have to take it anymore.

Since then I have had a guy break a cast iron skillet over my head, and I've been in several fights.

I'm 38 years old. I don't like to fight. I don't recover from it like I did when I was young.

I think everyone goes through a certain amount of it. I have to tell you that it's hard to let go of the pain. When people intimidate you it's like a little piece of your own self-esteem dies. I never told on any of my bullies, either.

The fact is, you ought not carry the past around with you that way.
You're basically letting your yesterday mess up your tomorrow by doing so. You only have right now. The past is gone and tomorrow never comes. Tomorrow is always tomorrow. Those jerks aren't a part of your life anymore, but they sure are taking up too much space in your mind and heart. You don't have to carry it around. You also never forget. Bullies do what they do to make themselves look bigger or more superior in the eyes of their peers.

I don't understand why you let yourself be so deeply scarred emotionally by bullies. You can decide to let the past be the past.
I still hurt emotionally, sometimes, but I'm not going to let something from my past rule over the rest of my life. Nobody bullies me, now. Not because I'm not intimidated by certain people but because I will not be a prisoner of my own fear. You can control the things that your mind thinks about. There are some wounds that only time can heal.

One more thing, friend and don't let this hurt your feelings. Think about it objectively.

You're not an adult SURVIVOR of bullying. Bullying was never going to kill you. If you would have had cancer as a child and lived through it I would call you a cancer survivor, understand my point?
You're an adult victim. There's a huge difference

Good luck and keep your chin up, you're still really young and those kinds of scars fade with time

Later

Answer 3

I cant help but feel sadness when i read youre story!! as i chil i endured the same thing as you!! From about the ages of 12 to 16 i had no friends i was called gay, loser and just all the normal stuff!! i was even taunted in class and the teacher suad nothing!! I used to eat and spend all lunch time in the library!! My parents would call the school everyday and they even talked to the parents of the kids who were bullying me!! I never knew why it was happenninf especially as the people who were doing it used to be my friends!! I used to come home from school everyday in tears!! At about the age of 14 i hated life and i started having mild sings of anorexia never seroius but i knew that it wasnt healthy!! At about the age of 17 i became a really good looking guy and i was just one of those guys who really found themselves in their late teens!! I even had girls tell me i was hot!! So it seemed that life was good from there!! But i thn became the bully!! I came down hard on everyone who ahted me and even those who tried to be my friend when i had none!! I dont know why i did this and i still feel bad!! But i cant take anything back that i have done!! I know that there was no reason to bully me but in a way i am still scarres today!! My only advice is that you try and turn that pain into ambition, for everybad memory make a new one and make it good, it is you and only you who will decide the course youre life goes, i know what you have been through and i know how good it can become, wpeak with youre family, youre friends and maybe even go to see a counsellor if you want!! You are here for a reason, just is everyone, and the world is a better place for having you!! Spread the word about bullying and help make a stand for those kids who feel they cant!! I myself entend on becoming and actor and when i finally get there i will tell the world my story and i will tkae a stand for thse who cant s !! And yes you are right that adults can still hurt and yes they do need help, try and ge that help for you and also give youre help because i am sure that you t feel as strong as it do about this!! good luck

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear that. I think a majority of people go through bullying in school and it's not a pleasant thing but you have to realise, it is not in any way your fault.
They are the ones who did the horrible thing to you when you were already suffering a lot through your home life.
It's a normal thing to feel hurt over and you should go and seek counselling to help you get through all the past pain. Just see a psychologist if you are not already and see if there's like a community centre near where you live that offers counselling.
I was bullied in school but I try to just forget it. I figure it wasn't that severe and I try to move on. But I know it's something that does get you really down particularly if you have other problems in your life.
I wish you all the best for getting the help you need though. =)

Answer 5

Well, maybe you should learn to take your life in your own hands and become more resilient and determined to make major changes. Transform your pain to strength. I mean, you were bullied at school, but at least you were attending school. I know this might sound weird, but between the ages of 0 and 10 I (and all other Lebanese children) have been living through civil war. So maybe to ease it up on yourself, think of how we could not see the light for 6 consecutive months, living in shelters, hearing rockets and shelling 24/7, having to spend 2-3 days without water, learning your relatives are dying one after the other, hearing stories about how people are being dismembered... The whole "horrors of war" package. Surround yourself with reliable supportive persons, and remember YOU have to do it and no one else.

Answer 6

i was bullied. quite severely. and it was mainly by one individual. he was shorter than me, but as mean as a pitbull that just had his favorite bone taken from him. he would often slam me, head first, into locker doors. even once he threatened me with a switch blade. part way through high school, his family moved to another area of town, and he had to transfer to another school. years later, while i was working at a hardware/sporting goods store, i saw him. he towered over me by at least a foot, and was a good 280 pounds of muscle. i felt that same terror wash over me that i had felt so many times as a child. and he knew i was afraid. but something surprised me. he lowered his head... and a single tear fell from his eye. when he looked up at me, all he could say was "i am so, so sorry. for everything." i forgave him immediately. and since then, i haven't had the night terrors i used to have associated with him. i no longer have anxiety attacks at the mention of his or his family's name. also, i was abused, sexually, as a very young child. the individuals who did it were very close to me. but they thought i had forgotten all about it, since i was so young. but one day, i approached each of them, seperately, and told them what i remembered. we cried. a lot. but in the end, i told them i had forgiven them for what they had done a long time ago.

i think the biggest thing you can do, is forgive those who bullied, teased, tormented, or abused you. don't just say "yeah, i forgive you" but truly mean it. feel it in your heart. be absolutely sincere with your forgiveness.

Answer 7

I see a counsellor/ psychiatrist...in the past what i have done is read stories about it and watch tv shows and movies have done a lot of soul-searching and self help and talked to friends about it and a little bit here and there with family members ie siblings aunt/ uncles and my mate.We never get over it but we don't have to blame ourselves that it happened to us.

Answer 8

it takes alot of time, bullying is a severe, unfair unjust thing to happen to someone. it wasn't your fault, you have to learn and know this. you are a worthy person. those people were screwed up worthless people.
i hope you can get some kind of therapy and help soon, and meds to if you feel you need them. take care.

Answer 9

Join the club. Remember, there are more victims than there are bullies. You are not alone.

Answer 10

it's a cycle of kids being kids- get on with your life and don't let something that happened so long ago ruin what you can have today