My husband is Active Duty in the Navy and is going to Divorce me on account of me finding him on the Adult friend finder site looking for sexual encounters... He says that he will not have to pay hardly any money for child support because they do not count BAH and BAS when determining pay.. I live in Washington state, who will make him pay - the navy or the state- and how much.. I am going to be by myself with 3 babies 3 1/2 and under because he has decided to not grow up and be a man..
2007-09-28 18:44:45 · 17 answers · asked by - ?!?!? - 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hes bluffing. Child support is based on his income. There is a percentage he has to pay and its not based on reasons why you are divorcing. Child support was brought in to protect the children.......It has nothing to do with the reasons why you are divorcing. This is about the children and what their rights are.....he doesnt know what he is talking about. Just ignore him.....the Child Suppport Law will show him a bit of reality. Some people think the child support law is wrong and it disadvantages the other parent....but in cases like yours, thats the reason the Law was made.....so cocky people like your husband cannot get away with shirking his responsibilities.
2007-09-28 19:10:29 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Actually, because he is on active duty it is not him that decides that because the military doesn't allow their families and children to go without support...so he may be in for a big surprise. I am pretty sure the Navy will send you a separate check for you and the children in situations like this...and I think it is the Navy that will take care of it for you.
If he were not in the Navy, then other laws would make him pay you support....they put guys in jail for not paying now.
So check with the right department in the Navy...there are some I am sure that will give you advice. Know your rights and how to handle them....but don't "tip your hand" to him....let him find out what will actually happen. I'm pretty sure the Navy will say that the support part of the money is yours....and for that amount of children, you may get more than he does.
Check around and ask questions...someone will be able to help you.
2007-10-02 18:51:54 · answer #2 · answered by samantha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everyone else that you need to get ahold of a lawyer right away. And from what I have heard about people in the service, they will not allow the family to go without. I can tell you one thing: my ex-boyfriend has three girls and he is paying $821 a month for them (small amount but they took in consideration how much rent he was paying) but he could have even more taken each month (he is making about $4000 or more a month). In Oregon, they can legally take up to 25% of the gross amount of income for child support. I am not sure how much it is for alimony, though. And I think that each state is different as to who can and cannot get alimony (in Oregon it depends on how long you have been married--at least 10 years from what I have heard) so contacting a lawyer would help with this and everything else.
Don't worry. Your husband will have to pay child support no matter what. It can be garnished right from his checks every month so he won't be able to spend it before having to pay it and then coming up with excuses as to why he couldn't pay. He is just trying to scare you into thinking you will be flat broke (but you won't) and he doesn't want to pay for his own children. If he didn't want to pay for children, he shouldn't have had anything to do with you getting pg (that's how I feel anyway). And if you do end up on welfare, he has to pay back every single penny of it, no matter what he thinks.
2007-09-28 19:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how it works with the military, but the law is the law and he's still responsible for supporting you and the kids..no matter what he says.
First, if he is on active duty...it's not likely he's going to be able to capitalize on any of his contacts...hard to do that when you're out at sea. But just in case you may want to protect yourself in case he has.
You could try to reconcile to cool the situation off so that he continues to support you. While that is going on I'd work really hard to get some sort of career training so that you can be independent if need be.
The bottom line is that no matter what the coursts say, he may not be in the navy forever and if he doesn't want to be found it can be very difficult to get support from him. I feel bad for you, but you've got to be strong and do what you need to do to survive.
HTH
2007-09-28 19:01:19 · answer #4 · answered by superdave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consult with a family divorce lawyer and find out what your options really are. If he doesn't pay enough you can go on welfare and he will have to pay the welfare back every penny. Get alimony if possible and child support, plus the house, the vehicles and what ever else you can get. He has broken his wedding vows. You have every right to divorce him. You can also have him pay for the divorce. Go file yourself, he is most likely just threatening you anyway. He thinks he will get you back. Don't be his door mat. There a lot of single parents out there doing just fine, so don't think you can't do it alone.
2007-09-28 18:56:25 · answer #5 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
>>> I really want to return to church activities but I hate going without him. <<< Have you ever really thought why? And why after 10 years and 3 kids does it now have to be your way or the highway because of a recent change in your attitude? ---- I sympathize that you want to bring your family closer to God (as you see it) but you should realize this represents a significant sea change in your marriage, something he may not have signed up for. If you divorce him, you will probably end up splitting custody with him, and his roof is still probably not going to be very god-fearing as it were. So I would be careful to think this one through before you start breaking covenants to God you have already made. I do think you have some kind of moral right to expect him to continue his original behavior when you first got married, that is, going from time to time. Maybe you two can work out a compromise. Good luck.
2016-03-19 02:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The military will not leave you high and dry. Ask for alimony. When it all boils down to it, the weight will probably fall on your shoulders since you are the one that will have custody. Try and get help, if not just do what you got to do. I was a single mother for about five years. And it was hard. I had to make sacrifices but it was well worth it. If you need a friend you can email me sometime. It helps when you have already been there. And you are right not to put up with that crap from him. God will watch over you and your children.
2007-09-28 18:51:30 · answer #7 · answered by specialsuber 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but he is pulling your leg... is BAH basic allowance housing? what I know is that this allowance is given because he is married... plus child support is not based on BAH is basically based on his yearly gross earning... & if you are unemployed you are eligible to file for "wife support" not sure what is called but you can look into getting info at any military "legal Aid office" for free! Plus if he is been a jerk you can easily contact his company commander they will remove him immediately from your home, you will be given sufficient time to pack & get your own place, that is if you are living on base quarters. if you are not well you got him off your back Military police will escort his butt off your back!! Believe me I had a similar case in the past, do not let him play mind games with you, unless he is saying this to you cause he Loves you so much he does not want you to leave him!! He knows he will PAY big time for child support!! You file with the state you are living in!! Good luck!!
2007-09-29 09:11:32 · answer #8 · answered by daisy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to document everything and take it to the legal office on base. Get the ball rolling in you favor, and have the Navy Lawyers on your side. If you retain them first he can not use them for himself. Also the Navy will ensure that you are taken care of. Not only will you receive child support for all three children, if you are not working you will get Alimony
2007-09-28 22:42:12 · answer #9 · answered by John L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start keeping every reciept and expense because you need to fill out "worksheets" in order to plug in the child support calculations. It is all worked out from your states forms.
If the state determines your costs are more than his income- he will have to get another job.
Courts are not fair- but the person most prepared stands a better chance- make sure it is you!
2007-09-28 19:52:46 · answer #10 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋