I am in College and I am doing a major project which will make or break my academic career. This project is so important because I can't afford to fail it.
A friend that I met here is in the same class as me, and she wants to join my group for the project. My groupmates didn't approve of her because she has a reputation of letting her groupmates do all the work while she does nothing but go on dates... (I experienced that too, last term.). So, she really wants to be on my group but we don't want her. We ignore her everytime because she keeps on insisting that she's our groupmate.
What should I do?
2007-09-28 17:58:10 · 6 answers · asked by hipandalive 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Stand your ground, hon.
Don's carry the heifers and scrubs!
This is about setting boundaries right NOW.
You will be dealing a lot of this when you get into the work-world, too!
Listen... you need to get a little something down. There are FRIENDS and there are ACQUAINTANCES... even within family groups.
Acquaintances only call you when they want something... bring a present to a birthday party, or come when they call. These people are "users" at best. They typically don't care about you or anything going on in your life. You always wonder where you stand with these people until you put 2 + 2 together.
Friends are different. They are there for you, usually share common interests, offer a shoulder to cry on, cheer you on, and want the best for you.
At some point, you need to evaluate each relationship and ask, "What does this person bring to the table?" Is this person a mooch? A user? A manipulator? A drama-queen? A time-waster? Or is this person your cheering section? Provide insight? Make you laugh?
As you go down the list of traits and how each thing makes you feel, you will know who you should be spending more time with. That alone will make your life better.
2007-09-28 18:02:31 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that you do not want to be her groupmate.
Passiveness won't work. Stop ignoring her and tell her outright that you've already chosen your group, you've already started on the project, and she needs to find another group.
Tell her that you like her as a friend, but that you need to keep your friendship & academics seperate.
If she asks why, tell her it's because she has a reputation for letting her groupmates do all the work and you don't want that to get in the way of your friendship with her.
If she can't handle that, she's not worth the time.
2007-09-29 01:05:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that it's an important project and you already have your group squared away. Tell her soon so she has time to join another group.
2007-09-29 01:08:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
get her out of your group or tell her to do some F^&% work
2007-09-29 01:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by kolan333 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her she can, but only if she works hard too. if not, you'll kick her out.
2007-09-29 01:26:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
your not a jerk!!! your so beautifulllllll!!!!!!!lol
2007-09-29 01:01:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋