Why do women generally feel more sore and resentful upon discovering that their partners have had at least 1 other sexual experience while on the CONTRARY, men on the whole are pretty receptive to the idea that it is ok for their partners to have previous sexual experience with other men?
Why do men appear to be more accepting than women? Is it the truth that most men REALLY don't mind?
How do men really feel towards their partners' sex history with other men? Don't the idea of thinking about it irk you and thus cause resentment (even though you might say this is the 21st century)? Men, please share your thoguhts.
What about the ladies? How do you accept such things?
2007-09-28 17:31:31 · 22 answers · asked by Lost-Hurt-Disappointed 3 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Interesting question. Maybe I am an unusual case, but I personally have always hated the thought of my partners being with someone else in the past and I think most men feel that way too that I know.
Really, I think it depends on the depth of the love between the people involved. From my experience, I've been partnered with girls in a non-romantic way, and I've been cool with whatever they did in the past, but I've been with girls that I've really, truly loved very deeply and I would have to do my best to not think about them with someone else or else it would really upset me.
My reason for being upset about that (but you know, when you love someone you just have to do your best to let it go) is that having sex with someone you love is really an amazing thing, and the thought of her sharing that moment with someone else is bothersome.
However, most of the women I know openly seem less resentful towards their men regarding their past sexual experiences, but below the surface it is obvious that it bothers them in the same way as I described above.
Hope that helped.
2007-09-28 17:42:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I prefer men with a sexual history as being someone's first has never been an appealing thought. I don't even mind if they feel the need to give me every single detail about every adventure they've ever taken. The way I look at it, if you truly love someone, you want to know whatever they deem important about themselves and hearing about both good and bad sexual experiences allows you to become a much better lover.
I've also been lucky enough to never have an issue with lovers of mine taking offense at my history. I won't give details, because I think some things should belong only to the people who did them, but I don't mind admitting when I've done something and if I liked it or not.
When you love someone, you accept everything that they are. The experiences they had in the past helped create who they are today. Worry about their future, and let the past stay in yesterday.
2007-09-28 18:45:28 · answer #2 · answered by lkydragn 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, for me its like this....
I dont really mind about my husband's previous sexual experience(s)... I think the cause for it is that I didnt know him at the time. If I knew him back then... Im not sure how it would affect me...
Im saying so because... see there was this guy who asked me out.. and he was so brutally honest with me... So I knew about his sexual life very well.. the many partners he had, the one night stands and all his relationships. One reason (amongst others) that (I think) I rejected this guy was because I knew about his other affairs with women.
It might have been bcoz I was insecure at the time.... see he was a guy with a lot of experience and I was not... so i kinda forecasted problems had we got in to a relationship.
On the contrary...with my husband I did not feel that kinda insecurity bcoz he has not had that many sexual encounters and affairs before meeting me.
So thats what I think happened. Hope this helps!
2007-09-28 17:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by Miss M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I accept it because:
1. I didn't know him in that life time
2. His sex life memoirs belongs to him and whom ever he had sex with.
3. It's the past, over and done with.
4. His past sexual encounters or experience had NOTHING to do with me.
Therefore, what I have now is what both, he and I, will always remember. Good, bad or indifference. So, no matter if I become another Woman in his past, at least I can say, he will always fall back on the memory of what was and pull out our memories that he burried amongst the rubbles, of his past. But for now? We will move forward and continue to make more memories that he and I can share.
Past sex lives are irrelevant, it's what happens NOW that matters. But, that's just Me.
2007-09-28 18:15:27 · answer #4 · answered by Smahteepanties 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My bf and I are pretty open about these things. Not so open that we always discuss who and the gory details.
I don't want to think about him and any other woman than me, even if it was years ago. He is the same. If i mention that my now male friend that called my cell used to be a lover he cringes. Not because he doesn't trust me but because it makes him jealous and makes him want to kill the guy for using me for sex. I don't always tell him about past lovers but sometimes he wants to know.
We both wouldn't be the passionate lovers we are (and all the more so together) if we didn't have a past with others and we accept the experience as a bonus.
2007-09-28 17:40:09 · answer #5 · answered by Pssssh Whatever 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it is extremely a sturdy element yet I agree adult men are extra receptive to a woman s previous experinces extremely than any incorrect way round. pondering females are the extra possesive and insecure of the genders this may hane something to do with it. it type of feels that ppl can overrecat in regsrd to what percentage ppl there major different has slept with quite all of us make judgment on that as all persons have a element of exeptance it is okay and not tolerable to the point the position it might want to be seen as over indulgeing. As you base a number of your word of on your major different on that. this is nice to pass judgment on that yet there's a pont the position you are able to take judgment to far. As on your 2d question it quite dose no longer hardship me as I actual have also had previous experinces with others i'm completly open about those issues and characteristic no project discussing it. i in my opinion locate it extremely intersting helps you to study extra about your major different on the time. I actual haven't any topics accepting that in any respect quite it dosent section me.
2016-10-20 03:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by mcgoon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My man was more upset about my previous relationships than I was about his. I think that was a bit rich considering he was with 5 times the amount I people I was with.
Thats not to say I wasn't hurt. In the sceme of things it is almost like 'well am I just another pump and dump, with no feelings invilved' because I don't think it is possible to have a true emotional connection with that many people.
And then there is the worry of STD's.
In the end you just get over it, you have to if you want to stay with the person. And never bring it up again....
2007-09-29 00:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by Stiffler 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't 'view' it. It is not on video! The trouble with being both mature and open minded is that every now and then You just want to give out a big belly laugh and say, "Grow up and start acting like an adult". That is what You should be telling people who worry about such things.
2007-09-28 19:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by Ashleigh 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Disgusting. I will make sure I marry a virgin or someone who did not sleep around too much with STD's and diseases.... will try since the country I come from most men are not very exp. But not someone very experienced. I am not exp so I expect someone the same or someone who is got the mindset to be decent enough.
2007-09-29 01:27:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My husband's past is just that...his PAST. Any sexual encounters he's had are just that much more beneficial to me as the 'receiver' of all his experience! Likewise, my past has no bearing on our relationship for him. We were not kids when we met, and neither had expectations of virginity.
I think that any conversations regarding past sexual experiences can only harm an otherwise good relationship...nothing good can be gained, but much unpleasantness can, perhaps, be found. So why would you do that to yourself or your partner?
2007-09-29 02:58:28 · answer #10 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋