i need to vent.?

Question

where do i start? wow i dont know i have alot of stress and alot of things that are on my mind. first of all im married for less then 6 months now and my hubby and i own our on stores. (uplinkgaming.com) & (secondstopclothing.com) anyway we work ALOT from the time we get up until the time we go to bed. im 23 he is 24. we have had uplink for over a year and we just started second stop.

im stressed out alot the last month about our relationship. im not happy with us as a couple at all anymore. i dont feel like we have much of a relationship because it doesnt feel like we are a couple anymore. sex life sucks. we dont do things couples should do together. all we do is work and thats all we have time for, work and sleep. i have told him many times how i feel and its like he doesnt care or something ok he does but only for a few days and then its back to not giving a **** about working things out.

i dont know how to fix things with us. anyone have any tips?

i have been trying very hard to work things out. i just want some attention and i want some freaking sex. i try everything to get him to want it. i dont get why our sex life sucks now. im not fat or anything i didnt get all fat and ugly so dont think that is it. i need things to be exciting again. im so bored with us and im scared if another guy gives me the attention i want im just scared of what it will make me do since im so unhappy with us. i talked to him about EVERYTHING everything i feel and all but it didnt help or change anything. is me asking for attention and sex making him not want to give it to me? i do all this stuff to try and make him want to jump me and do me and it blows up in my face and when it does work i feel like he is doing it just because i told him how much it bugs me we dont have sex like we use to. WHAT IS GOING ON WITH US?

im scared this isnt going to work and things will never get better. i mean im just to much work for him that he will never beable to handle and ill always be unhappy.

i have done all these things everyone is saying to do. talked about all that stuff and it never lasts long. things only change at first then go right back to the way it is now. i do dress sexy for him when he is relaxed and i do walk around the house nude IT DOES NOTHING FOR HIM.

also i know i said we have been married around 6 months but we bought a house together 2 years ago so its feels like been married for that long. we also started uplink together a year and a half ago. and no he is not cheating we are together almost 24/7 the 2 stores are right next to eachother

i cant get him to take the time away from work. i cant get him to close uplink any day of the week. money and bills are to important to him to do something like that. its just not going to happen i have tryed that stuff.

im scared that this wont last forever because we cant work out any of our problems. been trying a long time now. i think to much has happened for me to let go or not think about. i dont know how to let go of the fact he cant meet my needs. i dont know how to fix this with being so mad about everything that has happened. its always going to be on my mind that i had to ask for everything i ever wanted or needed. i shouldnt have to ask for attention or sex or couple time or a date. he should be my hubby and do them on his own and WANT to do them and i never should of had to ask for it

Answer 1

relax and take things as they come and always promise to keep open communication with each other. Open communication is the key in any relationship. also has anyone ever told you that the first 2 years of marriage are the hardest because it is a time of adjusting. and this has always been very true. even if a couple lived together for a time before marriage. i myself went through this as everyone else and we had lived together for 2 and a half years before marriage and had 2 children in that time. It sounds like you all have alot going on and he is worried about trying to get these businesses up and running perfect before he deals with the marriage part of things. he didn't do that so now he's going to have to learn to give you both equal time and treatment. men alot of times don't get the signals us women are giving them you want sex climb his a** lol. also i will tell you a secret to getting what you want sex wise from him. is start ignoring him at times, then he will want to be lovey dubby wanting to know what is going on. women are at their sexual peak time at your age, however men have most of their sexual peak times in their teens like us and again in their 30's. this sounds disgusting in a way but start playing xxx rated movies for the sound in the background that should get his motor running.(as long as you have no children around at the time). then you will start to get what you are wanting plus some. lol sometimes men are just so clueless to us womens needs. i have had this in my marriage at times out of 16 years but then i have also experienced times that it is the opposite its him wanting and me clueless or just not in the mood. lol you have already did all the other things to try, and i can tell you from experience this does work

Answer 2

I went to both of your web pages and well the uplink gaming is everyday of the week, and the second stop there was no hours posted. I read this and both of you are a young couple with a lot of responsibilities, and both of you are putting the job first beforee marriage. If both places that you guys own is yours it won't hurt to cut the hours, for example having Sunday off and both of you enjoying that day, being together and talk close each other from the world. If you guys have not had the chance to enjoy the marriage by traveling together or something like that do it. The best thing that I would recommend is doing new things, and well sometimes there could be something that you guys have done befor but make it a fun mission for both of you to find a new way to enjoy what ever you guys decided to do. And for the sex, well a little surprise here and there would not do no harm. For example, get a hotel, have candles setup throughout the room, leave a note at the house to meet you at that room because you want to talk, when he comes to the room surprise him with sexy lingerie, and from there let him take you, but don't be easy, play with his head.

Answer 3

This book might help. I'm in the same boat as you- my fiance and I don't have sex a lot, and I actually get a little depressed about it- especially if he turns me down. anyways, this book has helped us both- we had to read it for premarital counseling-getting married next year. "Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Not too long, a great read. Your husband might have a different love language than you do. Yours might be like mine-physical touch. His could be quality time, words of affirmation(thank you hun for working so hard for our family, you did a great job today cleaning, etc), acts of service- doing the laundry, etc., receiving gifts. So if you can figure his out- not sure since all you two seem to do is work and sleep... but if you start speaking his language, he might be more willing to speak yours, and the other way around. and after us both reading the book, I will say to my fiance- Hey, I need some physical touch over here! lol And he will say, ok it's time for quality time (his language). So then we giggle about it, and please each other because we love one another greatly. I hope this helps some. Good luck! I know how you feel though!

Answer 4

Men are very solution-directed creatures. Right now, he's focused on keeping those businesses going, and it's creating problems in your personal relationship. Three things:

Appreciate him. Do you know how many women would love to be married to a man who works his butt off to support his family? Tell him how grateful you are.

Men are visual creatures. If you want to improve your sex life, wait until he's relaxing a bit and walk by him in something sexy, or even nude. That should do it. Afterward, take the opportunity to tell him that you love him and you want more time with him.

Set a date night. If you can't do it every week, do it every other. But it is sacrosanct - nobody cancels unless there's blood. You can take turns choosing what you will do - it really doesn't matter what. You just need to spend some time together.

Answer 5

My sister went through something similar to this with her husband.When first married and struggling the marriage was great,then he got a good paying job doing something he loved and he became a workaholic, the marriage took a dive,he loved his job so much he neglected her,he had to travel a lot and in the end he chose the job over my sister.He was the nicest guy but lost his perspective.When you own a business you have to work twice as hard.I am sorry to say he may be turning into a workaholic,or he is just too tired to care.You have talked to him,and as painful as it will be you need to realize that divorce is a real possibility.

Answer 6

Find out who hes "uplink"ing to. Cause a 24 yr old wants sex. Just maybe doesnt want it with you. No offense meant. But sounds like somethings going on.
If it really is just work and no play, then you need so time together away from business,
Good luck

Answer 7

Yeah wow!
Look at the big picture. Are you sacrificing now for the future? Or has this just 'happened'?
Marriage and love will in the long run make you happier than just success, however poverty is no aphrodisiac.
Boys feel a need to provide and be successful, and tend to be one track minded.
If you have kids you definately won't be able to continue to do this.
So - set goals to get staff to help before you burn out, and use some of the spare time to INVEST in your marriage. Give him a bit of time to get used to it.
Don't forget - you were important enough to him that he married you.

Answer 8

Wow - with all the work you're doing, I hope that you are making money.
You might sit down with him and suggest that maybe perhaps you two could have a "date night" once a week. Or even make it a "Day for Just Ourselves" Set everything else aside and just do something as a couple together. Go to dinner, go to the movies, go see his relatives at the zoo. Just get out, away from everything a go. But stick to it. Thursday Nights are our nights out. Just do it.

Answer 9

take a breath now another,, marriage isn't an easy thing,,if it were everyone would be married. stress does alot to the mind,,now imagine how your body feels,, bet not to good.
and everyone knows that when your stressed to the max,,the last thing on your mind is sex,,you just need to say hey,,,stop a minute,,put on some slow music,,light some candles,,
mabe get out the massage oil and workout some of that stress . make time for just the 2 of you,,,and hopefully things will feel like old times again,,remember ,,you loved him enough to marry him

Answer 10

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