We have been together for 5 years we also have 2 children together, he says my oldest son is his even though it's not. He has decided that He loves me but is not in love with me. and doen't want to Marry me?
2007-09-28 16:03:39 · 30 answers · asked by chris 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
how ever he has signed papers saying we are married for my insurance company.. and he sometimes introduces me as his wife.
2007-09-28 16:38:56 · update #1
He probably does love you, but has commitment issues. By saying that he has a way out if he needs it. If marriage is what you want try couples therapy and if it doesn't work then move on while you can still have a civil relationship. You shouldn't shortchange yourself if marriage is what you want.
2007-09-28 16:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by TBECK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very sad situation indeed. You didn't know until now that he has no intention of marrying you? You never felt something lacking in your relationship until now? What made you stay with this guy and get pregnant by him? When he said that he loved you but wasn't in love with you, that was just a cowardly way to say " I don't love you enough." That should already be obvious to you. Get your children and sever the relationship. There are better and more loving men out there who genuinely want to get married to the woman they love.
2007-09-28 16:12:34 · answer #2 · answered by BlackSea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be better to be married.Do you laugh alot,is your home happy.The children deserve that type of love surrounding them! Have you and he made sure (insurance)if something were to happen to either of you.The children will be provided for up until they are independent.
If you are in love with him.and he died tomorrow.Does he respect enough how you deeply you feel for him.And would want to bury him nicely.And not have family come in and take over every little detail.(Maybe,they would respect your wishes-however).
If he got sick and you wanted to take care of him at home.Could anyone legally take that from you! Or could they just walk in and put him in some "dinky" rest home.
You can -in fact love someone very deeply and not be in love with them.These are his children and you are (if not a wife) the mother of his children.Hopefully,he would want to make sure certain things or unforeseen events will be taken care of.
There are too many important other things to consider.Even a "best friend" ,would think about that.
It's ok if you decide for yourself if want to stand on "shaky ground",but don't make your children do the same!
If you want marriage,why are you still there?
2007-09-28 16:24:46 · answer #3 · answered by need2know 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It means he enjoys taking advantage of getting the milk for free without having to pay for the cow...and you've aided him in fraud by allowing him to sign insurance papers as your husband. Are you aware that if you are caught the both of you will go to prison? It won't matter then whether your married or not...you'll loose your children to foster care and you'll have a federal conviction hanging over your head for the rest of your life...and employers frown on hiring people who fraud companies.
2007-09-28 21:30:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ever heard of the saying why milk the cow when you can have it for free. Well that is sort of like this situation. You've got to show him that you're not going to waite around for him to put a ring on your finger. I gave my Man 2 years Max and that's it! I don't care how much I love him, or how good the sex is. You've got to stay focus! If you've been with him five years and he isn't in love with you. Then nine times out of ten he's not going to be. Just think about this wisely and GOD bless.
2007-09-28 16:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by freta j 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess it said it right there, "He loves you but is not in love with you." It is not wise to live with someone before Marriage, it can harm the marriage and put off getting married as I'm sure you have done figured that one out for yourself. If he has not Married you in five years, I doubt that He will. He must have his reasons. Can you try to ask him what his reasons are and then see if anything you can do about it? Best luck, God Bless.
2007-09-28 16:11:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it means exactly what it sounds like.
I think he respects you enough to tell you that than to marry you when he didn't want to in the first place knowing marriage wouldn't be a good idea. He likes you but has his views and knows that you have yours. And maybe he's putting his own definition on it (I agree with your man)
Are you one of those women that believe if you do have the wedding that it'll change him? Leave things well enough alone.
2007-09-28 16:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by Hater2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy, have you made a mess for yourself! I'd tell you to dump the B-stard, but you have children to worry about. My guess is that, at some point, he'll take off. But, in the meantime, you have to decide if it's worth keeping him around for your kids.
When he's gone, get wise and don't move in or have kids with another one until you're married.
2007-09-28 16:08:20 · answer #8 · answered by Terri J 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It means he is a jerk. What man lives with a woman for 5 yrs. has children with her but doesn't love her enough to marry her? There is no law that one has to be "in love" to get married. Loving you and the children is good enough. If he doesn't want a permanent committment, you need to decide if you want to settle for what you have. Good luck.
2007-09-28 16:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by Dee 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It means he's happy to have sex with you but he really doesn't LOVE you enough to give you his name, his life, and his commitment to take care of you and the children for the rest of his life.
Should have gotten married FIRST, hmmm?
2007-09-28 16:19:28 · answer #10 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋