Anyone know of any clean jokes that are not coptwritten?

Question

I need jokes that do not have a copywrite, in other words, are completely legal to use. I am not using them for sales purposes, but a project. It is preferable that it is not a highly common joke. Any sources of information on any jokes like this? Thanks.

Answer 1

A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete check-up. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" The doctor interrupts, "Nine..." This joke came from a salesman about twenty years ago.

Answer 2

The seventh grade biology teacher was explaining to her class that all animals stutter. A girl in the class raised her hand and said, "I know that's true. My cat stutters. One time she was in the back yard, and the rottweiler next door got loose, jumped over the fence, and ran at the cat. The cat arched her back and said, 'Ffffffff!'" The teacher said, "That's not stuttering. The cat was just hissing." The girl said, "The cat was, too, stuttering. She was trying to say..." Oh dear, you wanted a clean joke, didn't you? My bad.