└tµ Can you write an amusing story about about a train ride that includes 6 of these phrases?

Question

Nope...NOT homework, pardner.

1. Take the last train to Clarksville.
2. This reminds me of a Hitchcock film.
3. Oh, Mr. ConDUUUUUUUUUUUUUCtor ~~~~~
4. Uhhhhhhh.......S'up, dude?
5. A trainload of morons. JUST my luck.
6. Next stop........The Twilight Zone. Muawwwwwwwwww!!
7. Now what would Sunshine and Marshal Dillon do at a time like this?.
8. Spennnnnnnnnndid!!! I'm sharing a compartment with Hannibal Lector.
9. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?
10. The Cockroach From Hell was snoring in the upper bunk.

█ Spennnnnnnnnndid SHOULD say:
Splennnnnnnnnndid...(Splendid)

Answer 1

So there I am, "busted flat in batton rouge, waitin' for a train, with a feelin' near as faded as my jeans"..... okay, well, not that bad, but i was waiting there. I had been hours and i was late for my meeting. It started to rain, and my cute little shoes with the ribbons on them that normally were so comfy were beginning to give me a blister the size of texas on the back of my heel.
Just as i was ready to give it up and call it quits, i see the train pulling in from the industrial park. As it pulled to stop in front of me, i pulled out my ticket, then paused briefly.........
(5) "A trainload of morons. JUST my luck." I thought as i stepped onto that bottom step and handed the conductor my ticket. As i walked down the ailse trying to pick a seat, i noticed a group of men in fedora hats and pinstipped suits. (2) "This reminds me of a Hitchcock film." i whispered to the conductor, who just grinned and walked away.
Suddenly i was confused. This wasn't my usual train, there were cabins in the other car. (3) "Oh, Mr. ConDUUUUUUUUUUUUUCtor ~~~~~" I said with a whince, calling him over to discuss the situation, as the train was already in motion being pelted by the tumoltuous flow of rain.
He informed me that i indeed, had gotten onto the wrong train, and this one was headed for some small town on the coast. "Oh poo" i said, "What am i supposed to do now?" I asked him. I had not planned on a long trip and was now totally going to miss my meeting. He suggested I stay in one of the empty cabins for the night saying, "In the morning, when we pull into Charlotte, get off and (1) Take the last train to Clarksville. From Clarksville transfer to the 891 train headed back this way. It'll be a hike, but you should be home by dinner-time tomorrow."
"Okay," I said, as he showed me into my cabin. I took a look about, and sighed. It was smaller than a jail cell i thought, and apparently i had to spend the rest of the evening with a stranger. As the conductor walked away, I heard him call out, (6) "Next stop........The Twilight Zone. Muawwwwwwwwww!!"
"Good Lord," I thought, rolling my eyes. This accidental trip was now becoming creepy. Best i could do was get out of these shoes, now killing my feet, and cuddle up and get some sleep.
As I closed the door gently behind me, I see the man on the top bunk slowly turn towards my direction. This was going to be a very akward situation. (4) "Uhhhhhhh.......S'up, dude?" I said to him, trying to get acquainted. He grinned from ear to ear and softly said with a chuckle, "Hello Clarice."
Frustrated from the happenings of the day, i voiced my annoyance sarcastically and said, (8) "Spennnnnnnnnndid!!! I'm sharing a compartment with Hannibal Lector."
"What's that, gorgeous?" he said with a grin lifting himself to a sitting position staring directly into my eyes.
I paused momentarily. As he sat there, staring creepily at me, i noticed something small, and black by his pillow. (10) The Cockroach From Hell was snoring in the upper bunk.
"Oh my God!" I hollered pointing towards his bunk, "There's a roach on your pillow!"
He instantaneously jumped off the bunk screaming, like a little girl, flailing his arms about skittishly. "Oh my God where! where! get it off! get it off! ahhhh-haaaaa-haaaaa-ahhhh (9) Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
I paused in amazement, then grined, then smirked, then bellowed out with laughter, to which he became slightly annoyed and embarassed. He looked at me, then at it, then back at me as if i was going to do something about it.
"Well, kill it then," I chucked trying to hold in the laughs i knew were coming. "You kill it," he said, almost adamantly in a child-like tone. I giggled again, "No way, not on your life. It's your bunk, you were here first. You kill it."
He paused a moment, then looked at me again, almost pleading with me with his eyes to take care of the bug now scampering about his pillow. "No way!" I giggled. "You do it."
He huffed a sigh of annoyance and began to search the room with his eyes for some foreign object large and heavy enough to send this disgusting creature to its demise. He picked up his shoe and said, "Do you think this will work?"
"I guess," I shrugged still trying to contain my laughter. "You know, it's not funny!" he said to me, now beginning to chuckle as well. "Oh yes it is," I laughed. "It's very funny."
He made his way over towards the bunk holding the shoe at armslength in the air. "Um...." he said a tad grossed-out. "Okay, okay, it's not that bad." he said aloud, sounding as if he was trying to convince himself to gather the gumption to execute this diseased ridden cockroach resting atop his pillow. He looked at me for reassurance. I just stood there grinning, still trying to hold back the laughs. "Okay, okay," he said again, (7) Now what would Sunshine and Marshal Dillon do at a time like this?" "Um, whip out a colt 45 and shoot it's brains out?" I interjected. "Oh good idea!" he said making his way back over to me, "Do you have one i can use?"
"Um, yeah," I said sarcastically, "I always pack when i'm on the way to a business meeting. I keep a glock tucked in my panites in case one of the sales reps pisses me off." Then i rolled my eyes. "You know," he said, "You're not helping the situation." "It's a bug for crying outloud," I said. "I know," he said, "But these things creep me out, okay?" Then he looked back over at it, "Yick!" he said, getting a slight case of the goosebumps. "Well, you'd better do something about it, or neither one of us is going to get any sleep." I said, with a chuckle, but a bit more seriously. "Okay," he whinced.

After a few more minutes of stalling, he finally swung the shoe hard onto the pillow. But he must have missed it as he kept swinging and hitting, swinging and hitting the pillow, again and again, saying, "Oh! die you filthy beast! Die!"
I cringed, but couldn't restrain my laughter. He began to laugh too, showing me it's guts all over the bottom of his shoe. As we both stood there relieved that this thing was now in heaven, he looked about the room, almost as if checking to see if there were any more bugs around.
"Um, yeah," I sighed. "After seeing that there I doubt I'm going to get any sleep tonight." "Yeah me either," he said in agreement. We decided then to head off to the dinning car, to grab a nightcap and chit chat for a while. Morning was only a few hours a way now.

♥ The End
5 2 3 1 6 4 8 10 9 7

Answer 2

Silva was mad as a wet hen!!
"I'm getting DAMNED sick of these cockroach's that are always showing up in Sunshine's stories"
She fumed and fussed, wracking her brain for a way to include the wretched little beasts into her story!!
Finally.....she came up with a half-a**ed tale......after MUCH thought! Still she promised:
"Next time she drags the little critters in, she'll be sorry!! I'll deliver a cartload of them over to her house.....
"SPECIAL DELIVERY!!"....... we'll see JUST how much she likes them then!!!!!!!!"


Miss Kitty Russel decided to take a trip away from Dodge, away from Matt Dillon and more importantly, away from his wretched girlfriend, Sunshine MacGillacutty!!
She dressed in her finest traveling garments, piled her natural red tresses into an artful arrangement atop her head, and finally satisfied that she looked her best, headed for the train station. Unfortunately this had been a last minute decision to visit her Uncle Earnest in Tennessee, and she had to take the last train to Clarksville, sharing a compartment with another passenger that had already booked.
As she walked through the train, she was surprised at the amount of "Riff-Raff" traveling these days!! Two drunken cowboys had dared to make unsavory comments as she passed them by, one calling "Hey Pretty Mama" which had turned her head, while the other said, "I just love me a Mature woman"
" A trainload of morons. JUST my luck"
she said, walking haughtily past, without sparing them a cursory glance.
Arriving in her cabin she was relieved to see that the other party had not yet arrived. She rolled up her hair in curlers, changed into a sleeping gown, had a few "cocktails" from her private stash and quickly fell asleep on the lower bunk. The cockroach from hell was snoring in the upper bunk, but even THAT could not keep Kitty awake! She dreamt of happier times in her past......her......Matt........
Suddenly she was awoken by rustling sounds in the room. Her cabin mate had arrived! She looked up into the handsomest face she had ever seen!
"Howdy Mamn" The gorgeous stranger tipped his hat, smiling down at her.
Kitty looked up bleary eyed, still half drunk, cursing the fact that she had scrubbed off all her makeup, put her hair in curlers and was wearing the biggest UGLIEST nightgown she owned!
"Uhhhhhhh.......S'up, dude?" she said in a throaty voice, trying to at least SOUND seductive!
Despite how AWFUL she looked, she thought he seemed quite interested!!
"This reminds me of a Hitchcock film...Strangers on a train" she thought as she looked up into his emerald green eyes.
She promptly offered him a drink from her king-sized canteen, and he gladly accepted! As the train moved along at high speed, so did Kitty!! She had excused herself for a moment, to put on her face, also losing the curlers and switching the frumpy gown for something sexier! As she plied the good-looking cowboy with drinks and lotsa cleavage, she wondered "Now what would Sunshine and Marshal Dillon do at a time like this?"
She didn't have to tjhink long before she had her answer............AND......It turned out to be the BEST ride she ever had!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I could certainly write an amusing story about a train ride -- but if I were forced to use six of those phrases, it would lose all of its charm and would no longer be amusing.

Well -- perhaps #5 would work.

Answer 4

no. too hard. i've got an attention span of about 30 seconds