Is it wrong to hate someone you don't know?

Question

Like, for example, the girl I like, who is also my best friend (and she knows I like her), already has a boyfriend. Is it wrong to hate her boyfriend, even tho Ive never met him?

Well, Pat, I get what your saying, but you don't personally know Osama Bin Ladin either, so Why is it okay to hate him, when its not okay to hate somebody else? There are no exceptions in life.

Well, Louisa, theres a problem. I won';t go out with anyone unless I really like them. So I can't just "llok for an available girl". Thats not how my mind works.

sry, I was typing to fast, thats supposed to say 'look' not 'llok'

Are you saying I don't deserve her, murdochiain? Thats really harsh.

Something else for you, murdochiain! How does that mean that I don't have her best interests at heart? Maybe I'm concerned he'll do something to hurt her? Hm? Just cause I don't like her boyfriend doesn't mean I don't have her best interests at heart!

Answer 1

Allowing yourself to hate someone you don't know means that you close off the possibilities of dealing with that person in a constructive way.
In the case of the boyfriend, it is simply jealousy, and you are failing to hold the girl's best interests at heart, so you don't deserve her anyway.
In the case of Bin Laden, hatred will prevent any possibility of finding a solution to the problem without killing him.
He is not a 'bad' person, he simply has a crazy view of the world and is himself consumed by hatred.

Answer 2

Well, I don't think you hate him so much as that you are seriously jealous. It's very common to feel animosity towards a romantic rival. However, your feelings could get worse and cause you to become imbalanced if you don't check them, so to speak, by:

1-coming clean to your friend about your feelings

2- simply understanding that if you dont want to feel jealous and angry all the time, you may want to cool things with your friend and look around for an available girl with whom you can start a relationship.

UPDATE***Sorry, I didn't mean that you should go for the first hoochie that winks at you, lol. I meant, free your heart and mind up from this situation with your best friend and make yourself available and open to meeting new women and to falling in love with someone else.

Answer 3

It is wrong to hate someone period. Hate is a VERY strong word and I don't think it shoud be used. If you truly do not like this person, (which this isn't better either), but say you dislike them not hate them. You should be a lover not a hater.

Plus the fact that you have never met this person is silly. Yes, you may not like the fact that the girl you like is dating someone else but honestly, hating the person she is dating is just so immature. Unless he is a horrible person and beats her I think you should grow up, hunny. I don't want to sound mean, but if she knows you like her and she told you she has a bf she probably likes the fact that you want to be with her and hate her bf. So, act as if this doesn't bother you, move on, keep living as you did before.

Answer 4

You interpreted your feeling wrongly. That's not hate you feel for your best friend's boyfriend. that's jealousy...And if you'd still insist you hate him;..it's because YOU KNOW that the girl you like PREFERS the other guy. So you see, there's knowledge of the other guy which makes you feel that way. It's not totally NOT KNOWING him.
You cannot hate someone you do not know. At least there are things you know about such person that makes you hate him even if you don't know him personally (like that Bin Laden case). Without any information to feed your mind, hatred is not possible.

Answer 5

It's up to you to decide what's right or wrong for yourself.
You should never refrain from feeling a certain way just because somebody else think it's unsuitable.

I understand where the feelings of dislike are coming from, but Hate may be too powerful a word to bestow on the given situation. It just sounds like plain contempt to me.

Answer 6

I'd first suggest that you thoughtfully examine the word "hate," & if that's truly the word that's appropriate to your emotions. I honestly don't believe it is. Hatred & its synonyms refer to feelings of "ill will" of "active dislike." Do YOU think it's possible to have such feelings about someone you're never met, & the only reason you've given is that he's the boyfriend of a girl you like, & with whom you feel is your best friend?
To "hate" is an intense dislike, (for what reason?) coupled with a strong desire to harm the object of one's feeling. At its extreme, it's deep seated & "malicious," the cause of discrimination & persecution. It can also be a tempermental aversion, as a cat's "hatred" of water. But, it always has a connectedness to one's rationale of the "reason" to hate. Since you've never met him, people can only assume your reason is that he's her boyfriend, & you would like to be. Even to "dislike" him would be extreme, for how can you dislike someone you don't know?
You dislike his ROLE in her life, not him.
I'll add that if she's your best friend, wouldn't you respect that she has a "boyfriend," (& this is for you to ask yourself): Can you continue to be best friends or not? There's no "right" or "wrong" in your feelings about THIS. Your feelings are totally your province.
Regarding Pat; we have some knowlege of Osama, (& yes, there are exceptions); we need to know someone, or to have credible information about them that doesn't meet our moral standards.
murdochian may have offended you by suggesting you don't derserve this girl, but he is right about her best self interests--unless you have valid information that her boyfriend might cause her harm. IF you do, that would introduce quite another dimension that you haven't provided.
From my experience in my profession, at the old age of 34, I will say that I in no way believe you feel hate. I'll also express most adamantly, that of all destructive "emotions," hatred is the worst. Jealousy, envy, possessivemess & greed close bedfellows. They start with SELF destruction, & no holds barred from there.
I prefer not to use "right or wrong," yet somehow--I feel that "hate" is not the word you mean to express your feelings.
This boyfriend of the "girl," (best friend), could be Tom, Dick or Harry--an abstract. A non-entity except for what he represents to you, in your relationship as a friend, to the girl.
I think most everyone tried to help, but the decison is, of course, up to you.

Answer 7

I don't think you really hate them, but rather you envy them.

I think hate and envy are often mixed up at times.

So no, it's not wrong to hate someone you don't know because hate is often confused with other emotions. You think you feel a certain way, when really it's another...and I don't see how it's wrong to feel a certain way, even if you don't know that person.

Answer 8

i hate my "friend's" boyfriend...course i don't really like her anymore either...but anyway...no i dont' think it is...you have to earn respect to get it...you never met him so you have no respect for him...simple. (i hope) that's how i handle it. and i suppose you're also afraid that he'll hurt her too...maybe?? well if that's so...that's normal...been thru what you have too...everyone has. it's normal, it's a part of our weird lives we hold in this universe. =) completely normal. (ps..if you ever meet him...and he's nice..to YOU and the girl you like...then you should give him a chance.) cheers patrick!

Answer 9

Jealousy is a terrible way to live. You could also spend the same looking for someone who is interested in your. Wasting time on someone who is not interest is a recipe for misery.

Answer 10

Yes, that IS wrong. If the girl wasn't meant to be yours, you will have to accept this fact someday. By the way, hatred will take you nowhere, but it will create obstacles in your way. If it is written that the girl will return to you, then you will have to prepare yourself for that. True love is selfless and is wishing all happiness for your loved one, whether he or she is with or not with you. Cheer up dude, do not limit yourself to love. Become worthy of love, then see its real magic!