He says he did not talk to anyone, but I don't know why he did it to start with. He admitted he was curious about online dating, but he promised he would not do it again, and he loved me more than life itself. He said he would not jeopardize our marriage for it, what is your oppinion? I know he loves me, but am I just being insecure about his motives?
2007-09-28 14:10:59 · 19 answers · asked by dduty45 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He should never have done that. Give him a second chance, but watch him.
2007-09-28 14:14:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but that sounds awful! Searching singles is crossing the line, even if it is just an online search. That is taking a step into a bad direction. However, it's not a situation that cannot be resolved. Just make sure to get the point across of how he would feel if it was you he found searching the web for singles. I would suggest talking calmly about the situation and see if he feels something is missing from your relationship. Don't flip out but at the same time don't be too sweet about the situation. If you flip he'll just be more likely to want to search around. But worse if you go to easy he will walk all over you and think he can get away with this kind of behavior and probably continue. I'm sure it will be hard to approach this in a perfect manner. Let him know you wont stand for that and you wouldn't hesitate to take serious action if he continues. I would be pretty upset! Hopefully you get things worked out.
2007-09-28 14:31:10 · answer #2 · answered by morgan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Toughy....well, I had the same thing happen to me. We werent married, but I consider it a form of cheating anyway u look at it. The women on there are single and looking for men. He has no business even looking around. He is married and needs to have more respect for you than that.
U were right to forbid him to do it. I did the same, and got my answer. He WAS cheating and met the gal on a intimate personals sight. It was designed for meeting and having casual sex. I got my answer.
As for u, if he says he wont do it again, give him another shot. You are not being overly cautious or insecure either. U are given intuition, u need to listen to it. If it looks like a rat, smells like a rat then its probably a rat. I would keep a close eye on him for a little while. U will not prevent him from doing it because he will do it sneaky if he wants to, but be aware of behavior changes etc.
I personally suggest that u sit with him and talk openly about his curiosity and intentions. Be up front and open about your feelings and make him understand how u feel. Ask him if he has a problem with your marriage and see if there is one and fix it before this turns into something worse.
I wish u luck. But done be niave.
2007-09-28 14:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but, if he's looking its for a reason. I should know. Me and my husband have been married for 5yrs. and in this relationship, I am ashamed to say, I am the one whose eyes began to wander. I began getting curious about being with other women, and experimenting sexually with many things in general. Do you know why?? Because there is always something that the wife/husband won't do that someone else is. Plain and simple. And i'm not trying to be a b*** about it, i'm just telling you the truth. There is something missing. Sit down with him and ask him sincerely, without getting upset at what his answer will be, try to fight it, Let him open up to you. I bet you that after so much denying eventually he will tell you or at least "hint" at what is missing, if he hasn't already. For some people its the intensity you feel about starting with someone new from scratch. Who knows? You wont, unless you have a sit down, with no pointing of fingers, or yelling, just calmly, and what he will say might hurt, but remember that getting it out there will only help your marriage out in the long run.
Hope this helps, Best of Luck.
2007-09-28 14:18:59 · answer #4 · answered by chinita25 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You had better learn to navigate the computer so you can find out what this louse is up to. Why on earth would a married man be curious about on line dating--especially since they are not suppose to be doing that in the first place. Stay insecure and get nosey, cause I think he is hiding something from you.
2007-09-28 14:16:15 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Instantkarma♥♫ 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
SWeetie, the same thing happened between me and my ex-husband. Note I said EX! So, he is curious about onl ine dating? Ok. The next thing you know you are going to catch him kissing someone else and is that ok if he was just curious??? This is a major red flag. Think about it.....if he really was just curious, why not just go read profiles and stuff like that? Why go through the hassle of setting up your own account and profile, particulary if it is one that he paid for! RUN AWAY!!!
2007-09-28 14:27:06 · answer #6 · answered by Jessica W 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Disconnect your internet for 3 months and see how sorry he is and how much he loves you , go on picnics , trips to mountain look out's , romantic dinners at home , romantic bath time's together.
If he cracks it then you know he's playing you and has probably met up with some of the chicks on the site or at least spoken to them on his cell phone.
2007-09-28 14:26:31 · answer #7 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's ridiculous! Tell your husband to delete the profile, or he's gone. Like I told someone else with this problem, if my husband had a dating profile, it would be a bad day at my house! There is no reason for it...it's not for an ego boost, etc. He's looking. Stop it now, you have that right.
2007-09-28 14:15:43 · answer #8 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
"The thought is parent to the deed".
If he was looking, even if "just curious" then there IS a problem there. How could he, as a married man, justify "looking" at all?
Ask him how he would feel if you were on-line doing the same.
2007-09-28 14:23:02 · answer #9 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is you need to make sure that both of you understand/are on the same page with:
1) why it bothers you so much and
2) why he is curious about singles on-line websites.
Maybe he just needs an ego boost?! Guys do dumb "stuff" like this from time to time--it'll pass.. I hope. Good luck!
2007-09-28 14:19:36 · answer #10 · answered by Help_Out_Thanks 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You are upset at the notion that he may need something that you don't have , and the possibility that someone else will. It's perfectly normal reaction to the circumstances , but without knowing the nature ofyour relationship it's difficult to say exactly what is going on.
Take him at his word , that this is an honest curiosity and move on , but try to communicate more about waht you need from him , and how you can help him in the future.
2007-09-28 14:17:07 · answer #11 · answered by james 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋