I have made some mistakes in my marriage.. I guess we all have to a various degree. But this question I pose to the men and women out they're in Yahoo land is ask because if you knew that, has the cheater, you would never do it again, would you be better off just not saying anything and learning from your mistake? Or do you take the honest route and tell he or she that you had an affair? I think if you told that person, you would have to understand that the trust would not be there anymore! Even if you never did it again! I know telling the truth is the right thing to do, but.. is it always the best thing to do in the overall scope of things?
2007-09-28 13:22:44 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would want to know. And I would want to deal with it accordingly. Its just as deceitful to hide as it is to actually do it, because when they find out on their own ( and 9 times out of 10 they will) it will be much worse than the perpetrator coming clean themselves.
2007-09-28 13:31:06 · answer #1 · answered by Cebsme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.. If you made an honest awful mistake just one time, I feel as long as there is no possibility of the spouse finding out, then spare her the heartbreak and maybe a divorce if she can't live with it.. Just don't do it again and pray she never finds out from somebody else. That would most likely be the end of the marriage. Sometimes the truth is best not told, if it's to spare the other's feelings. If you were ever confronted by her, then by all means, don't lie. Confess and plead your case and hope for forgiveness..
2007-09-28 13:56:56 · answer #2 · answered by Joanie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know if I found out from someone other then my husband I would be angry and feel like I was made a fool of. Insult on top of injury. There would be absolutely no trust. The question is "How many times?" Was it a one time thing? Did it accure over a long period of time? Could you trust yourself to keep the promise of never doing it again? I would say that marriage councelling would be in high order to see if that trust could be rebuilt. But I would definitely want my husband to tell me.
2007-09-28 13:30:17 · answer #3 · answered by Dana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know or knew when you cheated that the affects would be long term. You want to clear your conscience by asking here on answers if a person CHEATED JUST ONCE if they should keep the mouth closed and not be honest because they supposedly learned their lesson. I say that is complete bull----. The act of cheating always starts with a thought, a plan, a possible lie if caught. SO IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO CHEAT, YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES.
2007-09-28 13:34:25 · answer #4 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want to know. If he had an affair, and learned his lesson and knew he wasn't going do it again, then why cause trouble where there doesn't need to be any?
I hear about people that felt guilty years after a one time affair and spill their guts. What in the hell is that supposed to do. So you clear your conscious, and throw this load of crap in your spouses lap? I think the best punishment is living with your guilt to help keep you straight.
As the saying goes "ignorance is bliss"
2007-09-28 14:17:44 · answer #5 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
telling the truth is the right thing to do, but it will ruin your marriage, she will never trust u again. she will never see u in the way she sees u today. when my ex and i separated, i still loved him, waited for his return, did some soul searching, was all ready to make my marriage work, that is until he told me he had someone else he was seeing, after that it was over, it is as if in addition to being brokenhearted, i was so angry, knew i could never feel the same, and filed for divorce. women just don't forgive that easily, i would keep my mouth shut, invest in my marriage, forgive myself and ask the lord to forgive u and help your marriage. but i would never tell of the betrayal unless u want a divorce.
2007-09-28 14:19:53 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things are better left unsaid. Especially if you know that you're going to end up emotionally hurting your spouse by what you've done. There is such a thing as learning from your mistakes and never repeating them again.
2007-09-28 14:02:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a wife who loves a man who cheated I struggle each day with wether he loves ME really, when he goes to work who is he paying attention to and a zillion what if's We have kids and he does want to live a good life and says he will never do it again it was a mistalke...I have cried for nine months....considerd suicide and divorce...we have fought so violently and screamed in eachothers faces...we never did before....I sort of hate him and love him too...there is no trust I just have to hope he does what he says. there is a time period all I could say were mean and spiteful words like "well maybe ____ could raise your kids better..." ect...I feel so rejected and bad about everything my looks my house my kids i have questioned everything...so really what I am saying is be good to her, realize you have a reason to loose her completely and don't tell her and DO NOT DO IT TO HER AGAIN
2007-09-28 13:46:00 · answer #8 · answered by just duky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure most will say said i would want to know if my husband cheated on me. Well i say no to that i would not want to know if my husband cheated on me because it wouldn't make a bit of difference to me because the trust is gone never to be again. The innocents and trust is all we have and without it it's over.
2007-09-28 13:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cheated in severe university because of the fact he disregarded me and that i wanted some interest. Now, at 24, i'm too mature to play video games like that. optimistically others grew up mentally besides, yet all of us be attentive to this is now not the case for some.....
2017-01-02 19:25:19 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋