Does grief cause you to do things you don't normally do?

Question

Does grief cause you to do things you don't normally do?
My best friend's mom died a few weeks ago, & she's sort of been acting differently. I know she was sexually abused a lot as a child, & she was adopted, & her mom was mentally handicapped. Now, it seems like she's been trying to seduce everyone she can, including me. She's bisexual, BTW. I'm hetero. I told her I'm not like that, & she's been begging everyone in sight to have sex with her, & I'm scared & worried that she might get hurt by guys. I look @ her like a sister, not a sex buddy. @ first when her mom died, she didn't wanna be around anyone, & now, she's trying to have sex with everyone. & everyone is trying to get @ her, too. She's going wild. I still wanna be her friend because if I don't have her as a friend, I don't have anybody. I'm worried about her safety. & last night she tried to pressure me to hav sex with her, & she always tries to fondle me & when I get mad, she laughs. Last night she admitted that her mom's death is causing her to be like this. She feels unloved.

Answer 1

To answer your question, the answer is Yes, because the griever wants someone to be close to, even if it is temporary.
If I had the power to bring back one member of my family and only one, it'd be my daddy because he never was able to see me grow up, if he were here I would have turned out way better than what I am now but I believe he bought my husband to me through his afterlife. He never was treated fairly by anybody in our family; he was surrounded by a majority of my mother's family and they never treated him right. My mother always accused him of cheating even though he wasn't because he was home faithfully every single night of the week. My mother also only thought of him as a provider and nothing more - she was always trying to make us (his kids) think the same thing but I always knew there was something more to my father. My mother always tried to be the center of attention because she was always at home; none of the kids went to my dad with anything or didn't want to learn anything from him because they were all independent like my mama but even I suffered from that but I got out of it when I noticed that my daddy was a loner in his own household - I began seeking my father's consult, watching TV with him, and much more because I wanted him to feel needed as a father.
My father took care of seven of his own kids and three other kids that weren't his - ten in all. I think that if my dad was alive more of him would have come out. My father is like me and I am like him; sometimes I think the only seven of them who is just like him. He was a loving man who was the best father he could be and he knew he was which kept him getting up for work until the day he was diagnosed with lung cancer and died.
A year after my daddy died, I began looking for love in all the wrong places, in all the wrong people, and I knew it was wrong but my daddy was the parent who gave me attention, who gave me love, and made me feel special. When he died, I wanted to fill the void that his presence left. I didn't have counseling nor did my other siblings, and this was my way of dealing with it. I think I lost myself at age fourteen, a year after my father died. Before my father died, I was a little shy, grounded, outspoken, and opinionated; I know you're wondering how can a person be outspoken and shy but I only opened up to people who I thought needed to hear what I had to say or who treated me right.
When my dad died, I thought no one wanted to love me because I wasn't getting attention from my mom who favored the other kids over me and a few other siblings. I lost myself and began looking for love in all the wrong places; I became all the things I hated and encouraged other people not to do and not to become - I did this for three years. At age seventeen, I met my husband who opened my eyes to the mistakes that I was making, he opened my eyes to see all the people that were hurting more deeper than I thought, he helped me realize that I had to regain who I was in order to save our relationship, and he also reminded me that he is me (in more ways than I care to reveal here and now; just yet). I found myself during me and my husband's relationship which has been about four years now. I'm continuing to find myself and I am still here because a person keeps learning as time goes on; learning never stops even after death.

Answer 2

The thing about grief, is that with time, it does subside. If she's grieving now because of the loss of her mother, her grief will begin to go away and she'll back to "somewhat normal", in time. What doesn't go away, is when you have differences or conflicts in a relationship. Those are either worked-on or they remain. If you two had certain conflicts or problems during the relationship (without her mother passing away), then both of you have to work on those problems or just keep being the way you've always been together. What she is going through right now, is just that: what SHE is going through, and not YOU. If you were married to each other, I could understand you taking on some of this. But when you part and go your separate ways, then you deal with your stuff, and she deals with her stuff. There's no dealing with each other's stuff. This is like when a guy feels he has to marry a girl, because he got her pregnant. But if she wasn't pregnant, he wouldn't be with her. Your ex will get over the mourning period, in time. Then you wouldn't have anything to "hold" you together, anymore. You'd be back at Square One. You can only be her good friend right now, and be there if she needs you. Other than that, you can't be in a relationship with someone, just because they've gone through something bad. That's not what makes a good relationship.

Answer 3

YES she definitely needs professional help. I've heard that grief/anxiety/depression can cause an increased need for sex due to a need for comfort. She is vulnerable and needs support to understand the process she is going through. You might try doing some searches on-line of the subject and suggesting she gets help.

Answer 4

I think so.....my brother just recently passed away ...and I'm not the same person I was when he was alive.....he's death as affected me in a way I'm not use to .....things that I used to enjoy I cant seem to anymore.....I don't want to be around anyone....and I'm tired of my girlfriend asking me if I'm alright.......I think that's just my way of dealing with he's loss.....but your friend on the other hand has other issue to add to her sorrow...like the fact she was messed with...ask her to go see someone....sound like she's going to need to get some kind of professional help....she's lucky to have a good friend like you.....hang in there...and don't give up on her.....you'll get your friend back

Answer 5

ah...
you can't solve this problem alone and neither can she. You need to get professional help.
Is there a person that she respects, like a lot? Because if there is someone who can tell her to do something and she'll do it without a question, then that person can help. I don't know who that would be, for some people is parents, relatives, loved ones.
You either find a person that can control(without violence) her or get medical help.

Answer 6

Yes grief can cause you to do a lot of things you wouldn't
normally do. But it can also be used as an excuse to get away with doing the wrong thing.

Answer 7

Before I even read beyond your initial question, here's my response: HE(( YES!
We all do things we don't normally do when we lose someone we love.
Sounds like your friend is mistaking sex for love. She needs to see a counselor, and fast.
Good luck to both of you.