I have been married 14 years. Two years into the marriage, my husband cheated but did everything to try and fix the marriage. And did everything he could to try to make me trust him again. Anyway, that lasted for a while. Now he lies and I catch him in the lie and he says things like I had misunderstood him or I forgot and got things all mixed up or whatever. He desperately does not want to get divorced. Probably because of money. Help
2007-09-28 12:42:04 · 23 answers · asked by dianna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
only you can dictate what you should do. You've learned that cheating is something that "can" be worked through, it's the reasons behind it that usually can't. You need to reach deep down and figure out just how much you're willing to put forth and if it'll be worth it. Life's short hun, don't let HIS issues become yours. Do what's best for you. Wishing you the best
2007-09-28 12:54:54 · answer #1 · answered by b t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Im 22 and I've been married for 6 months now and honey my husband has already F* * * ED big time but I didnt leave because we all have to pick our battles. If he's doing wrong by you dont stand there and take it protect your heart and do whats best for you. Now make sure your not blowing this out of proportion because we as women tend to that. Love ya husband and pray for him and not just for you. Marriage is something that you work at and maybe God is still working on him. Now you can leave him for a while and tell him to get his **** together or you two can go see a counselor or you can work it out I know you may have made a few mistakes yourself.
2007-09-28 19:56:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can tell you whether or not you should leave your husband,only you can decide that cause only you live your life everyday and know all the circumstances. But you have to ask yourself 3 very important questions. #1 Do you still love your husband? #2 Do you feel that your marriage is worth saving? #3 Do you trust your husband? If you answered no to any of these questions then your probably better off moving on but if you answered yes to all then you probably should go to counseling to talk about it with your husband. Good luck!
2007-09-28 21:33:21 · answer #3 · answered by teddybear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds exactly like what my dad did to my mum, look i've never been married but i've seen a very similar situation!
If he cheats and lies, there is no trust, where theres no trust there is no marriage, nobody should stay with someone because there is a piece of paper binding you together, clearly you deserve better. He is playing mind games to make it out like your the bad guy, so if you leave him its your fault, its not!! HE DID IT TO HIMSELF!!!
I think you know whats right and as much as you love him, you deserve true happiness, we all do!!
Good Luck =]
Its the begining of a fresh start....
2007-09-28 19:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage can get very boring. Get out and do something together. If he cheated once he will do it again...and again.. until he gets too old or too tired or sick. IF he has no interests that are similar to yours, and you do not want a divorce, make a life for yourself and try to remain friendly with him. He will need you before you need him.
2007-09-28 20:04:48 · answer #5 · answered by rare2findd 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get divorce ! If you feel you can't trust him anymore. you know that with out trust there's nothing in a relationship. That's all i can say because no matter what...if you stay you will always wounder if he is telling you the truth and that's not the way to live. Good Luck :)
2007-09-28 20:30:08 · answer #6 · answered by pinkbubbles282004 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You;ve been married for 14 years , he cheated on you in your 2nd year of the marriage and you tolerated his lies and him trying to make you feel like your losing your mind for the next 12 years and now you want to leave him?
WOW.so just go who cares what he wants.Dont make the same mistake I did , I tried to do the right thing by my 1st husband I left him with everything , the house worth 420,000 dollars a 55,000 dollar car 38,000 worth of furniture and housing equipment , and he is ******* all over me now.
Just go and take what you deserve from it.
2007-09-28 19:55:40 · answer #7 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would, cautiously, at this point say no. The infidelity happened 12 years ago, and you obviously worked past it. You did not tell us what he is lying about, so I'm not going to say that's grounds for divorce. You also never said how you feel about him. I would recommend that you do a lot of deep thinking, and before you accuse him of lying, make darn sure you know the truth, and if he is lying, confront him with the truth, and take things from there.
2007-09-28 19:49:06 · answer #8 · answered by mikosin357 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you're here just to reaffirm what your "GUT" is already telling you. But sometimes we need someone to do that. "The best predictor of FUTURE behavior is PAST behavior" And men are REALLY good at making you feel like your nuts, mixed up on what was said...etc And they also are good at turning the tables on you so you don't trust your gut, or change the topic to make you feel bad for even thinking it. Trust your intuition! Good Luck!
2007-09-28 19:54:45 · answer #9 · answered by cheryl c 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there are many good reasons for divorce and you have a few of them! No reason to stay with a husband like that.
2007-09-28 20:39:15 · answer #10 · answered by mab5096 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋