should I let him....tonight it is 7:30 and he says he will come later when his girlfriend gets off work...well I cant keep my son up allllll night for him and I myself need to go to bed at a reasonable time as for I have 3 other children and a husband who all get up in the morning at 6...YES even on the weekends...and no I cannot sleep in I am usualy up with the baby half the night tooo.....Is it OK for him to disregard my schedule? He already lets our son break EVERY rule I have ever set...like no hitting no bad movies etc.....oh and no he was not this type of man the 7 years we were together!
2007-09-28 12:40:59 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we do have court papers that say everyother weekend fri-sun 6 -6 and every alternative weekend fri-sat 6-6.....we never go by it we just try to work with eachothers schedules but lately he has NO regard for mine! Our son is in school and gets up at 6 he is only 5 and I cannot let him stay up late on the weekends because it messes up his whole week....YET everytime he is with his dad he gets to stay up till 12 or later and i have to deal with the concequences! AAARRRRGGGG!!!! Sorry... I am sooo upset and I have to let it all out here so I dont let it out on his dad!
2007-09-28 13:20:30 · update #1
YAY ME! I just want to tell everyone that it is now 8:45 his dad just called and said I will be on my way out in a little bit wich means an hour...and I SAID NO! He is in bed and has to keep on his schedule he is in school now! and he was BAFFLED! he said well i guess i will have to make it another time then....he did not even say well how about in the morning....aaarrrg!
2007-09-28 13:51:03 · update #2
My ex tried that and I just said, "look, come and get him at the time the court set up, or no child". He took me back to court and the judge enforced the time and I got me some more money!
2007-09-28 12:46:09 · answer #1 · answered by Equality for all! 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ok NO , he cant set your schedule to match his , if you dont have a court ordered shared custody agreement then try and get 1 when you get the money up or use legal aid .
In the mean time you stand in front of him and state quite clearly he doesnt dictate to you when he will pick your son up or drop him off ,his girl friend's work schedule doesnt even come into play here she is not anything legally to your son even if she married him she wouldnt have any legal say in anything so remind him the child is coming to spend time with him so he should make sure the child is kept to a routine , explain to him you have responsibilities to your other children , and he has a major responsibility to your son , he has to realise the child needs stability this included pick up / drop off time's , bed time's , time's for his meals and if your ex is to immature to abide by this as a responsible , loving , caring father then tell him all visitations are off until such time as a court date be appointed.
I cant believe people think of their kids last just to keep the peace , children need stability and to be able to get into a routine you cant have a routine at home then have an ex stuff it up because all thats going to do is cause stress on the child , and quite possibly the rebellion in teenage years will be something out of your worst nightmare.
NO put your foot down NOW!!!!!.
2007-09-28 13:25:53 · answer #2 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the two of you don't want to work off the court papers, tell him he has to call you on the evening prior to the visit and give you an exact time he will be picking the child up. Tell him firmly if he is not there by the time, then the visit will not take place. Obviously he has little to no regard for this child's well being!!
2007-09-28 15:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by green_clovers66 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down NOW !!! if you have court papers stating a certain time then that's the way it should be. Tell him that he should be in favor of what is best for his child. If not take him back to court and let the judge know what's going on. because obviously he is not being a good father. Good Luck :)
2007-09-28 13:34:16 · answer #4 · answered by pinkbubbles282004 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you go to court, you would have all of this in a legal document. Tell him just what you're telling us, in a nice non-confrontational way. Tell him these are the times you can pick him and and you want him home at a certain time too. If he can't make it, then pick him up the next day at a reasonable hour.
2007-09-28 12:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by luv2help 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most of the things our ex's do with the children are out of our control, but this one isn't. You had papers drawn up for a reason, so tell your ex calmly that you expect him to stick to the scheduled times. Tell him this is for the child's well-being. If he is late then he cannot expect to have the child. Any court would uphold this.
2007-09-28 13:36:03 · answer #6 · answered by mab5096 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to stick to the order, if he can't it's his tough luck! Don't let him get away with pushing him around, sounds like he's one hell of a dad. If he comes that late to pick his son up, how much later does he keep him up after that? What a loser, I'd take him back to court and have the order enforced!
2007-10-02 12:38:51 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Miss Keir 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex-wife used to do this to me all the time. I fixed it by not being able to work with her schedule. if she wanted him on a special day i wouldn't let her pick him up. i would tell her we have plans. I would tell your husband that he would need to pick him up early because you have plans, if he asks what your doing, tell him none of his beeswax. tell him you will drop him off early. Then when he says he will drop him off at your house, don't be there so that he can see what a pain it is to deal with a messed up schedule. if he shows up late tonight, tell him to come back in the morning. STAND UP FOR WHATS RIGHT!
2007-09-28 12:57:34 · answer #8 · answered by nfgatcer 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he can only come by after your son's bed time then tell him to pick him up the morning after. If he needs to reasonably delay his pick up time then try to be flexible it's the way to keep good terms between the 2 of you.
2007-09-28 12:48:20 · answer #9 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
tell him it will be the set time and set days,or it wont happen. then when your son comes home try to do something very active with him like throwing a foot ball,going to the park,etc. to wear him down.
2007-09-28 14:11:07 · answer #10 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋