Are we, as women, more afraid of sexual openness due to?

Question

all the emphasis put on our "purity" and "virginity?"

Answer 1

Our puritanical society.

It's amazing to me, as I get older (and the women I date get older) how women's attitudes towards sex mature and develop.

Because so much of society tells women that they have to remain pure until marriage, and that sex is for procreation not recreation, many women do not get in touch with their sexuality until later in life.

I've met many women in the last few years who are very in touch with themselves, their needs, their desires, and their bodies. It's a shame they had to wait so long.

Answer 2

Do people still emphasise that? LOL... I 'd say it's the opposite. Besides, some societies - like the US pre-1950 - put an emphasis on avoiding premarital sex for BOTH genders. So the whole, "woman holding off the aggresive animal boyfriend" idea was a hiccup in history. Premarital sex has always happened, of course, but women have previously had all of society backing up her right to say no and still be seen as a desirable girlfriend. If the emphasis on saying "no" was a result of men's ideals and not women's, that would mean that the women of the 50's wanted sex, but the guys were saying, "No, no way!" Does this sound like any man you know? LOL .... Bullcrap.

*Women* valued the "restraint system" and kept it going, and women have always been the ones making sure that daughters and granddaughters were cautious. That's because we are the ones who get pregnant, and getting preggers without being married puts the girl at a huge risk for poverty. It still does, and it always will, so women will either gamble and lose, or decide to go for Grandma's advice and save it for a guy who at least is committed to the relationship, married or otherwise. Men enjoy the concept of virginity, sure, but WOMEN are the ones who promote it as a goal or an ideal, for the reasons I've expressed.

As a married woman, I can personally say that it's FAR easier to be "sexually open" with a HUSBAND than a passing stranger..... perhaps Grandma was right. I am not at all afraid of sexual openness - now that I'm married he's not likely to judge me for being myself.

Answer 3

I can't speak for all women, only myself. I, personally, have never had those concerns. I am very comfortable with myself as a sexual being. Perhaps it helped that my parents were agnostic. Perhaps it helped that I didn't hit puberty until I was 17 and by then, most of my peers had already been having sex for a couple of years and I felt a little left out more than anything else. There is less emphasis put on "purity" these days, probably that helped too.

P.S. It's always bothered me that there is no female equivalent to the word 'stud' or male equivalent for the word 'sl*ut' (which, apparently, is even unfit to be used on this site and is therefore censored). That's an unfair bias.

Answer 4

I think that most of the restrictions or repressiveness we find in society, in regards to sexuality in general, is due to religious oppression or popularisation, going back to ancient times.
I had mentioned in your swingers question that as religion popularised, people's concepts of sexuality changed, they began to repress their sexual nature, out of fear (of punishment, either earthy or beyond).
To me, the emphasis on virginity, no masturbation, no sexual thoughts or activities, was/is another strategy used for control and manipulation through guilt. As it is impossible that we will not want to touch ourselves at some point in time, or have sexual thoughts, it is human instinct to be sexual, for we are species that need to reproduce to survive...so we cannot escape what is part of who we are.

I don't think purity has anything to do with external things that are part of our human nature, I believe it has more to do with our intentions and what is on the inside.

Great question. :-)

Answer 5

Virginity is way too hyped up.

Purity is great, but it doesn't mean you can't have sex. Just don't screw a different guy each day of the week.

Purity by the way of health (not have any STDs) is a must for me.

I'm sure there's a thick social tension regarding this. My suggestion, don't give into social pressures. With some people you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Answer 6

Personally, I think we as a society ought to be emphasizing purity and virginity till marriage for our sons as well as our daughters. And being sexually open is much easier in marriage.

Answer 7

i am very open. but i have had the fortune of being raised in a household that was not religious, and therefore didn't stress virginity or purity, but sexual health education instead. but i suppose if you have only ever been taught abstinence that might be true.

Answer 8

yes. i was indoctrinated growing up on the horrors of sex. It was never good. In fact i am still very afraid about getting pregnant despite all the protection and i am not comfortable even at my ripe old age of later 20s. I remember how one of our most popular priests growing up based probably 99% of his semons on girls being sluts. He would watch people during offertory and holy communion and would point out to people in below the knew dresses, pants or sleeveless dresses and send them out of the church. It was such a traumatic experience that i understand why many women grow up not enjoying sex because that emotional feeling that you grow up associating with sex doesn't go away.

Answer 9

Wacko, you've just indirectly called the questioner a "sl*t" on the basis of no evidence whatsoever. Do you know what that makes you?

hmmm

No, I don't want to generalize about you on the basis of a single remark, though I have my suspicions.

That's very nasty and not at all funny.

And you know damned well you wouldn't talk that way to her face. And certainly not in front of other people.

Answer 10

Yes In India the tradition still exists about us being chaste and sometimes mother in laws come to inspect the bed if the girl has bled.

I think its rubbish but again like the saying goes in Rome live like the romans we have to abide with the family in some ways.