Young Marriages....what do you think?

Question

Marriage at the age of 18....why do people condemn such decisions now-a-days?

Answer 1

Alot of people at that age aren't quite ready for marriage at that age. They haven't had time to be out in the world to really discover who they are. I know when I was that age I went through some big changes. People need time to experience what it is like liveing away from their parents. Now that does not mean that all people that age fit this description. If you go into marriage with full knowledge of what it requires and keep a good line of communication then I don't see a problem with it.

Answer 2

Because we don't live in 18th century England anymore! LOL

But seriously, as a psychotherapist specializing in couples and marriage therapy, I can tell you that the divorce rate for those who get married before the age of 30 is higher than the overall average. The reason is that people are constantly developing and changing, and an 18 year old is not the same person they were when they were 15, and a 30 year old is not the same person they were when they were 21.

By age 30 however, most people have a sense of who they are and where they are going in life, thereby increasing the chances of a successful marriage.

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Answer 3

It is critisized at that age, because generally most 18 year olds haven't had time to mature and actually know what they want out of life. Marriage is forever and at 18 most of us think with our genitals and not our heads.
Besides you haven't had time to see what is out there. Not that your choice in a mate is bad, but there are a lot of people available to us. Play the field. Who knows what will happen.
Then there is the financial side of things. At 18, it's hard to keep up will all the bills unless you are very fortunate. Get an education first. At least start a career or know what you want to do and start working toward that.
Before you get married, if you aren't already because you don't say here, think about what would happen between you if you decided to wait 3 years. If you believe that in 3 years you will still be in love and want to be married great. Why not wait then, get some other things in place and enjoy everything in between now and then.

Answer 4

It's mainly because of a few different things.

1.) We do an amazing amount of emotional and psychological growing through tough lessons when we are in our 20's. When we are in our 20's, we experience a lot of "firsts", first experiences that include first lessons that change our previous thinking. Most major accidents, illnesses (physical and mental), and personal crisis happen during this period. When you marry someone during this period, the likelihood that you will "grow apart" is almost assured.

2.) The divorce rate that our country has experienced, the cultural lessons we've learned through the last 60 or so years has taught us not to be hasty. In the 50's, we married right out of high school to ensure a large family and because, culturally, we were more mature due to economic pressures (we had just come out of a major depression) - young men got right to work, they didn't play video games and party... women tended to the home, ensured a successful, safe environment for their children. In the 70's, we were carrying over those from the 50's, but many of us were reacting violently to it and divorcing at a higher rate than ever before. In the 80's and 90's the institution of marriage was focused on dual-income households, single parenthood, and re-marriage. Now we take these lessons and are trending towards the "wait and see" attitude, realizing that we need to be certain before we get married.

3.) We are also very immature in this day and age. This is the culture and time when 50-year-olds are acting like 30-year-olds and 30-year-olds are acting like 10-year-olds. By that logic, if you want to get married at 18, you'd be getting married as a 3-year-old. Committing to someone for life at 3 is impossible because you're still going through life saying and thinking, "ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!"

Answer 5

It has less to do with the marriage and more to do with the emotional maturity of MOST (but not all) 18y/o's.

Read a little on psychology and human development and it becomes pretty clear......

Most humans do not being to solidify their adult identity until into their mid 20's. That means what you want out of life usually changes 2 to 3 times between the ages of 16 and 25. People usually don't have a good handle on what they want to be, their lifestyle expectations, their end-education level, their priorities, etc.... at the age of 18.

So you go off and get hitched - OK. So what happens when one of the two of you find out that they want to continue school? or one wants the kids and the other doesn't, or one is fine in a 2 bedroom apartment, but the other aspires to make 100K+ a year and have a 3000sf home?

If you both start off staving artists (which is fine), but then one "grows" out of that stage - where does that leave you?

The bottom line - MOST people are not finished maturing at age 18 (even though @ 18 I would have disagreed with this statement).

Marriage is hard work. Period. Most people just don't want to see young folks make it any more difficult on themselves than it already is.

I suspect your father falls into this category.

I know its hard to want to wait, but if the love is really there - it will wait for you (both of you). If not - you've saeed yourself from making a huge life lesson mistake.

Best of luck ..... take your time - a lifetime is a longtime to be hitched to a wrong decision.

Answer 6

Kids today are way more immature than when I got married. My son will turn 19 on Monday and he just moved out to go to culinary school. He calls me an average of 4 to 5 times a day, asking questions on things like filling out applications and complaining that he's going through too much gas. It would be frightening if he were married at this age! I did marry at 18, but I was may more mature. My husband was a Marine at the time, so I had to be even more sure of myself because I knew we'd be seperated for periods of time. We're now going on our 21st year together being married, but I will tell you that it wasn't easy a lot of the time. If I had to do it all over again, I definitely would have waited so I would have been able to do the things I wanted to do instead of becoming a wife so soon.

Answer 7

I got married when I was 19 and he was 18. One of the biggest mistakes of my life. I have been unhappily married for most of the 14 years. I can tell that some of my single friends are jealous of the longevity of my marriage, but it has been a nightmare most of the time. Basically, the person I married 14 years ago is completely different today. Me not wanting to divorce stuck through everything; no money, other women, breakups, difference in child rearing, religion, living in other countries, and more. I lost myself in this marriage and am just now trying to get me back. I would never recommend anyone to marry early. Wait at least until your mid-twenties. What's the rush? Plus after you get married it all goes downhill from there. Your spouses reveal who they really are. I know how it feels to be in love and want to be with this person forever, but trust me those feelings change and even quicker when married. I wish someone had told me this back then and I listened.

Answer 8

Because most ppl by the age of 18 isn't outta diapers yet, nor do they know a thing about responsibility. Just my thought's.

Heres the kicker I got married when I was 19, but I've lead a hard life and was forced to grow up alot sooner than I should had. And we've been married for going on 3 yrs now happily!!

So my advice to u is to not worry about what others may say or think.

Answer 9

I don't "condemn" marriage at the age of 18, I just don't agree with them. I don't believe at 18 years old you know who you truly are. I am turning 29 and when i think back to when I was 18, omg, I knew nothing back then, not that I know it all now. Another thing to think about is the financial reasons.

That is my opinion, cause you asked for it. But in reality the decision is yours and your partners. Good luck in all you do!

Answer 10

I think because you may not have an idea of what life is really about yet. I have a cousin that married young, I advised her against it because she wasn't very mature. She did it anyway. Then early in the marriage she wasn't on birth control, I advised her on that because she is immature, she got pregnant and had a baby anyway. Now she doesn't like her life at all because she doesn't want to be tied down with a husband and kid. She would rather be dressed up strutting around the mall, going out drinking and partying. Its a stereotype, but girls like this don't help your cause. I think that some younger couples make it although I can't think of any right at the moment...