Regrets of people that's not with us anymore,,,?

Question

i have regret, my lovely dad died in 1998, i miss him so much it hurts it was march 23th, then i got a phone call on 21st april, my birthday, at afamily gathering ,,to say my brother had died, its hard to say all this but some how i knew it was by his own hand, i loved him soo much, and felt so sorry for my mum and all our siblings,,the reason i ask this,, i was cleaning up and found our photos of when we were small, iit dont take a photo to say i miss him sooo much,and dad ,,it was a very hard time for Anthony,i wont go into that now .. my regret is that i felt i dint spend more time with him , i was living in germany with my husband, and chidren ,was in my own life and lost contact

Answer 1

Please don't live with these regrets just think about the good times that you did have together.....You are needed by your own family so you need to be strong......It is hard and I do exactly the same as you but it won't change anything by thinking this way......Just remember when looking at the pictures that this is a moment in time captured for you to cherish but not in sadness. I think the most important thing is to show your children how much you love them,cuddles kisses etc and talk to your husband about it but most of all don't get depressed they would not have wanted you to feel that way.....I also take comfort in that i feel that my brother and dad are still popping in just to keep an eye and I am sure your family are too

This is a beautiful poem that I actually found from this site

.http://shari39.tripod.com/grief/tomorrow.htm

Answer 2

Don't have any regrets, I bet your dad was very proud of you and he would know you loved him, as far as your brother goes he felt that this life was not for him so that shouldn't be a regret for you either. I regretted not telling my dad I loved him he has been dead now for 25 years only through time I now know I did tell him, the words may not have been spoken only he knew alright. You have photos only there is something with you every day and that is your memories they will be with you forever.

Answer 3

Children grow up and must live their own lives. You shouldn't have any regrets. That is just the way life is. I am sure your father understood this. It is now up to you to put these emotions aside, and live your life for your husband and children. When your children grow up, they will leave you and live their own lives. Bless you, you are a very good person.

Answer 4

Grief is basically selfish!!!

Hopefully the person that died went to a better place and was relieved of their suffering.

Good or bad - grief for the departed is sobbing for what you have lost and not what the departed have gained!!!!

Answer 5

when you have a family of your own you owe your time to them ,and thats what you did,you have no regrets,you did all you could,life is a cruel taskmaster.