Clingy internet friend?

Question

I met this girl on the internet. She seemed nice, like someone you could occassionally talk to. Anyway, after five conversations, I signed on, and she sent me an IM that said "I missed you." and then later she said she "loved me like a sis". She barely knew me! We had our first conversation 7/20, 2 months ago. It's school time, so I haven't talked to her for 2 weeks, and now she says "how could you leave me like that." I don't know what to do. She's an annoyingdrama queen, and she is ALWAYS upset about something. Plus, if I don't respond immediately (meaning in 5 secs) to everything she says, she buzzes me. And she even met this guy over the internet, and look what she says about him.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=As8.ISH7z3w6ZLnVVnyDZiM8.Bd.;_ylv=3?qid=20070920104230AAcIX2k
I'm kind of scared now. She's really nice, and I don't want to hurt her feelings. She also has other friends that aren't as clingy and that I enjoy talking to and probably will be mad if I ignore her

Who cares if I don't know what she looks like..she (or maybe he, as some of you have said) is still a person with feelings. And I'm not giving out any personal information anyway.

Answer 1

What you should do is say "I'm sorry, I can't give you what you're looking for." Then ignore her. Poof, done. Not your problem.

The other friends will do what they wish, but you can't fake a relationship with this one to please them.

Answer 2

Since you feel uncomfortable, I think it's best you just end the relationship altogether. Your other internet friends should be mature enough to not hold a grudge against you for not wanting to remain friends with the clingy person. Not everyone gets along in real life and your cyber friends should understand this. I'm on a friendly basis with someone who is friends with another person I don't particulary care for. I don't try to come between those two, I just hang out with the friend I like and avoid the other person.

Some people have suggested that you talk to her and explain your issue with her. I'm not going to encourage that because I don't know how bad the situation is. It's completely your call. If you feel it will do you some good go for it, otherwise I would just end it.

One of the downsides of the internet is that you don't know for certain what the other person is like or if they are who they claim to be. If she really is a stalker, she can pretend to correct her behavior just to insiniuate herself back into your confidence. After she regains it, she'll be more agressive than ever. A relationship shouldn't feel forced and even though it's polite to take inconsideration the other person's feelings, you can't and shouldn't make it work when you are truly uncomfortable. It's a disservice to yourself and the other person you are pretending to like and care for.

Answer 3

She sounds a bit lonely/needy. But harmless.

However, you mentioned that you're scared. This is something that shouldn't be felt in a friendship. You should tell her how you feel. Also why you feel this way. Let her know that her need to be in constant touch is actually pushing you away, not drawing you closer to her. Let her know you still think she's nice and would still welcome the occassional chat. But that constantly bombarding you just isn't a good thing. If she agrees to back off a bit. Give her another chance. But if she still pester's you... Or makes any cryptic comments, even open threats. Then you shouldn't hesitate to block her/report her.

Answer 4

What are you so worried about? She's an internet friend, emphasis on the word internet. You can't socialize with them (dangerous, much?) or talk to them about what happened in school/work. Although it can be nice having someone to talk to online when your other friends aren't busy, they aren't real friends. You're going to forget about them in a year or so. And from what you're saying, you hold these friends in high regard; make sure you're not putting off social gatherings (with your real friends) to talk to these people, because best friends are real, and you won't find them online.

Anyway, your problem: tell her, as politely and calmly as possible, that you value her friendship but you have better things to do than be online and talk to her every second. Such as, um, school, homework, extraciricculars, friends, chores... does it ever end? Be clear that you would love to talk to her as often as possible, but you have real-life situations to handle. And if she ever bugs you that you're not responding quickly enough? "I have a big lit essay I'm typing right now, sorry if I don't respond quickly."

Good luck.

Answer 5

I know what you mean, I have a tagged page and someone sign on to be friends . I excepted her friend request and it's like she wants me to e-mail her every time I get her MSG or comment. As for me I will leave embedded comments because I'm busy most of the time and can't actual type e-mail responses and she had the nerve to leave a note for me that if i don't want to talk and exchange actually conversations she does not want to be on my list. If she only knew how happy i was she was very annoying. It's best you put her on ignore she will get over it or find someone else to cling to.

Answer 6

Strange this is just one example of potential dangers that could befall people who speak with total strangers on line. Nobody actually can be certain who is on the end of the computer they are chatting with. And the use of the word friend seems to have changed with the advent of the computer also, as friends now appear to be complete strangers. Best thing to do would be to deny her messages from getting to you by blocking her. Sure you might get some reaction from her other "friends" but you'd just have to explain your reasoning to them. Best of luck and be careful on this powerful machine.

Answer 7

I think in this case you're going to HAVE to hurt her feelings. If you don't like someone and you don't want to talk to them anymore, the best way to accomplish this is to say to them,
"Hey, you're a great person but I just don't think we have enough in common. Plus you're kinda freaking me out, what with saying that you love me and all. So I don't know if we should be friends anymore."
If she gets mad, oh well, she'll get over it.

Answer 8

If you met this person over the internet, you really don't know them. This could be a 200 lb wrestler. Don't feel compelled to do something that you don't want to do.

Answer 9

Wow, have you told her how she comes across? Maybe she doesn't realize it. I don't mean come out and say it in an abrupt way, but just tell her that some people need more space than others.
But yeah, strange.

Answer 10

hi stranger,
this girls seems to be a very hypersensitive one!
and u cant just shake her off like that u know......u will have to terminate the contact gradually not all of a sudden!
maybe u r the one who matches her ideal completely and she doesnt want to lose u. but ofcourse its not the criteria for u to fall in love with her or to extend this chatting to any relationship....u r not bound to do so.
as far as drama thing is concerned...she is only doing so to gain your sympathy....u might have gone harsh at times being irritated! the simplest solution could be that u ask her to pay attention on her studies and tell her that you like her as a good friend but u r not currently in an state of making any kinda commitment but be polite !!
she seems to be damn sincere wth you. try to remain invisible if online and avoid frequent chats...she will feel bad and will e-mail u try to catch u whenever she could and however but if she mails twice u mail her once.....she will gradually understand this that u r busy towards your career
and time......time is the healer.....everything will be fine......im not asking u to quit completely but just saying that for few months......avoid frequent contacts...believe me.......everything will be fine.
Rest...trust GOD and ya....dont be scared...comeon!
some1 loves u so much....be proud of yourself buddy!
take care
best of luck!

Answer 11

Be honest with her. Tell her just what you told us. Tell her you think she is nice, but she is a bit clingy. Be honest. Tell her you don't want to hurt her, but it bothers you when she buzzes you so much. Be kind when you tell her and don't text it to her. Tell her in person or over the phone so she can hear the kindness in your voice.
Good luck