I'm 38, healthy, fit, good looking and have many oportunities to cheat. I never have and never would. That being said, my wife and mine's sex life has been lacking, to say the least. She has lost interest and we only have it once per month.
So I've been taking matters into my own hands and after a few days, I have little choice but to relieve myself. I do so privately, but the last few times she found the bottle of Astroglide and put two and two together. She got super angy and started yelling at me, calling me a pervert and sicko and what not. Is she right in doing this?
2007-09-28 07:50:31 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is nothing wrong with self love....It is far better masturbating then out spreading your seed with other women.
2007-09-28 07:55:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, no. Casanova always self-satisfied, so he could concentrate on his lady.... and ladies he did indeed have... they lined up, if you know your history.
Secondly, if your sex life is lacking, perhaps it is you, sweets, who need to sharpen your skills in the bedroom. We all fall into ruts. Men by evolution are 'poppers'. Had you not been, critters would have killed off the human race eons ago.... a man is in an extremely compromised position while mating, isn't he? So the faster he can get the job done, the better. Women, on the other hand evolved to be slow cookers.... if one man did not impregnate her, she would try others, more sperm up her chances to conceive.
Obviously things are way different than 250 generations ago, and now, women want "equal orgasms" in the bedroom. Amazing how many guys think that insertion is the big deal for women. Hon, your penis is for your pleasure, an hour, your hands and mouth, maybe even some toys are for hers....
That said, read a book by THE sex therapist in the country today... For Each Other by Lonnie Barbach.... and her other stuff is good as well. She give each of you all kinds of hints to make your loving marriage better, and if it is no longer loving, how to get it back. Paperback, anywhere. Worth every dime. And don't say you know it all..... oh, hon. You don't.
2007-09-28 15:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, my first question is, have you asked her why she’s lost interest? Because maybe to her it’s starting to become a routine and she doesn’t see the fun, or joy in it for that matter. Men need to understand that women are sexual creatures, but we can’t be turned on with a flick of switch! Women need foreplay! And I know that some men will say, “Don’t I turn you on enough by just looking at me?” Well, husbands….you maybe good looking, have a nice body and be well hung, but you do have to put a little work into the foreplay no matter how long you’ve been married! And no, grabben our boob and asking if were “ready” doesn’t cut it. You need to make your feel like a sex kitten and not like a tool for your pleasure. Go out and get your wife a sexy negligee and have her spend a day at the beauty salon…make a nice dinner for her and try to remember how wooed her when you first met! You have to put out effort if you expect to get some in return. But as far as self pleasure goes… I see no problem with that! It’s better than going somewhere else and getting it! Good luck with your wife!
2007-09-28 15:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither of you are wrong. You were doing what most men (and women) do somewhat regularly.
If your sex life is lacking and your wife is angry, she may need to see a doctor. If she is near your age, her body could be going through hormonal changes in preparation of peri-menopause. Please advise her to see her obgyn. If nothing is found medically wrong, then consider couples counseling.
Finally, try to not to sound egotistical around her. If you tell her you have opportunities to cheat, you are putting the idea into her mind that you may very well go down that path. Whatever you do, be understanding, put away the astroglide and any porn you may have (out of her sight) and urge her to talk to you and a doctor.
2007-09-28 14:58:25 · answer #4 · answered by DSL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is failing to understand and appreciate the needs of a normal male. If she were offering it up every night, that might be different, but since she isn't .. a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. Reasonable women understand that. More than that a woman who is very much in love with you will offer it up every night, or close to it.. and yes, then she would be hurt if you took matters into your own hands.
2007-09-28 15:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Masturbation is nothing to feel guilty about sweetie.
Instead of fighting about masturbating, the two of you should think about joining a class or sex counseling session to help spice up your sex life. Simple as that. What are some things you'd like to do, but haven't tried? Do you think she'd be into them? Ask her what she'd like?
That way you won't have to masturbate as much, and you'll both be happier.
2007-09-28 14:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by Missy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no. Look, your wife needs to realize you have needs. She is frankly being inconsiderate and closed minded. She did not marry a monk but a normal guy with normal wants.
You need to sit down and talk to her and set her straight. You need to figure out why she is not interested or what can be done to get things back on track.
If she is not willing to try to act like a loving partner who is considerate of your happiness, then you need to look out for yourself. You need to honestly let her know, in no uncertain terms that you will continue to take care of business unless she is willing to be with you more.
Deprivation is grounds for separation, in case you didn't realize.
2007-09-28 15:01:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't think for a minute that she isn't doing the same thing when you are at work!
I'd tell her to start acting like a wife/lover or start looking for another place to live.
Life is too short to live at home going thru pure hell daily.
2007-09-28 20:54:04 · answer #8 · answered by jonn449 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is overreacting a bit but keep in mind it almost can make some women feel useless and not needed! or even wanted! She is prob a lil sensitive but just explain to her sometimes you need to and you dont want to "make" her have sex with you! But make sure she feels loved and wanted AND needed! Communication and love are the key to happy, understanding relationships!! Good Luck! and dont feel bad but dont make her feel bad either!
2007-09-28 15:06:49 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is soooooo WRONG to get mad at you for that! You are not a pervert or a sicko. You're just being human!
2007-09-28 14:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by good girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No she's not right. Better you do that and stay faith ful... And come on, even when you have a good sex life, what guy doesn't do that on a regular basis. Get real!
2007-09-28 16:59:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋