Moral reasons for teens not having sex?

Question

OK there are practical reasons to not have sex like don't want to worry about pregnantcy or disease don't want to be used by a player and just don't feel ready to go there yet.

But what are Moral reasons for not having sex? Why is having sex (b4 marry) wrong? It seems to me that I will be the same person before or after I have sex so where is the moral problem?

For example: What is good about virginity? Why is "saving" your virginity for marriage good?

Could someone please explain this to me? Thank you :)

p.s. BTW I'm not religious.
And even if I was than I think these are still reasonable to ask why.

Answer 1

Whether or not "enlightened" people like to admit it, people form emotional attachments that go beyond friction between their genitalia and most human beings become emotional vulnerable in a sexual relationship, so it is prudent not to casually engage in sexual behavior outside of a moral, emotional, and spiritual context of respect, caring, and trust.

Answer 2

Being married puts another level of meaning onto sex. That's not to say premarital sex is always meaningless, but I personally think it's far inferior to being intimate with a person you can trust 100%. I think this is especially true for women, just based on anecdotal evidence.

Another thought is that having a sexual relationship automatically makes it a billion times more painful if it doesn't work out. This might be a more practical reason, but having your heart broken 4 or 10 times before being married might make you less naturally trusting of your husband when the time comes.

Some might say that you need "experience" to be any good in bed, but I think that's nonsense. A husband and wife can learn together what works for them as far as techniques.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's not the virginity per se that makes a difference, it's the "virginity" of your heart that can make a difference. If a person is "playing at" being married with no real commitment, they might be going into marriage with a lot of trust issues or baggage. However, you really need to do what you feel is best. Some people feel that their premarital experiences benefitted them, and some do not. Personally, I don't think it's a moral thing - more of a cautious approach to intimate relationships - which leads to many benefits once you *are* married.

Answer 3

That's an excellent question! Wow. Well, I think maturity-wise people look at sex as an act of commitment. If a teenage guy gets it right off the bat, then they're likely to not call which leaves the girl feeling used and slutty. I don't think that mentality changes even after you're grown up, but there's also the fear of comparison. Would you want your partner to compare you to previous sexual encounters and rate you that way when mentally you have so much more to offer? My husband and I have had numerous sexual partners before being married and I'm glad that we did. Even w/ the amt. of ppl he's been w/, he was still inexperienced to me. Of course, you have to get to know each other's likes and dislikes thruout the course of the relationship and I'm happy to say, he's gotten MUCH better at things! I think it's all a matter of preference if you feel you're really ready to give a guy something so special. I lost my virginity at 16 and I couldn't have asked for a better experience. The guy was really sweet and didn't pressure me at all. I think that's the most important thing to look for! Don't do it if you don't feel like you're ready! I don't know, I'd rather my guy have some experience just so he's not a total idiot in the sack!

Answer 4

I married a virgin and not having sex with her before marriage was the biggest mistake I made. A young woman raised in a tradition Mexican family, We had chaperons on our dates and were never alone. Also she was the girl next door, A young lady that is indoctrinated that sex is wrong and that most men only care for the conquest of your body for 21 years of her life. One day you get married and then all is alright, no it is not the socialization, was a lesson she could not bring herself to forget, She never liked sex, and she acted like she did until I was told by her doctor, She never had the confidence in me to discuss her problem with me. So my marriage was over in my heart 1 year into that union. We stayed together for another 19 years ,All the love in our relationship , I got from my children. I will never marry again without having sex with her before marriage. Sex is not all that makes a good marriage, but it is an important part of a successful marriage. She was a good person and it was very hard for me to tell her and my children that I was leaving.
I found my soul mate ,that I wish I would have found when I was 24.

Answer 5

My whole thought is people shouldn't have sex until their early twenties just because they aren't ready for the emotional impact of it. Relationships are hard, schools hard, college is hard and works hard. I decided I didn't want to deal with wondering if a late or missed period was because I was stressing or because I slept with my boyfriend last weekend.

I think pushing no sex till marriage is ridiculous, it's too abstract and it assumes the person is going to get married, plus there are people that have had everything except vaginal intercourse in order to say they are "virgins" at marriage.

Answer 6

That old concept has to do with 'used goods' where women are concerned in male dominated cultures.

Almost all people masturbate before marriage and this is indeed sex.

I am reminded of Bill Clinton's defense when he described receiving oral sex as not being 'real sex' because no penetration occurred.

Sex is and always will be an integral part of the human experience. Someone should explain this to the Catholic Church who are inundated with pedophilic priests.

Answer 7

one reason why i dont have sex and i want to wait until marriage [I'm 15yrs. old] is becuz with all the stress from peers [already], from school to join and stay in an extracuricular activity, to do well in school, to have a lot of good friends, tryna eat health and get excercise, to do your homework and to balance it all with havin an after school job sex is about 3 less things to worry about [stds, pregnancy, emotional attachment] and plus u wanna save sumthin special for ur weddin nite. so those are my reasons and plus my religion but those were the other important reasons
and its not like i think sex is wrong... i mean i kno its NOT WRONG as a matter of fact sex is a result of the human race.... but i think sex should be saved for a strongly commited couple and what could be a stronger commitment than marrige? *cough* lol

Answer 8

Morals are something that were invented by Old people to keep Young people in tow.

As for being a virgin on your wedding night i thought that went out of style when the hippies came along. You just have to take teenage Japanese girls as an example.They f*ck all over town like the little h*es they are then they go and get a plastic surgeon to stitch them up tight so they scream and holler on their wedding night like a pig getting a 10 foot pole up its b*tt.

Or you could become a nun ("none today,none tomorrow")

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE.

Just DON'T jump in the sack with anyone UNLESS you take precautions and practice SAFER SEX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

having sex with someone is (almost) the biggest risk you can take with someone. (when sex goes badly wrong it really does hurt). so having sex with someone shows that you trust them as much as it is possible for you to trust anybody.

if you have lots of casual or short-term encounters you quickly learn that you dare not open yourself up too much. you are not putting much of yourself into the sex, so very soon you will discover that you are not getting much out of it either. instead of the overwhelming, life-changing meeting of two minds it is for the lucky ones among us, you will soon find that although you can get as much action as you want it is not much more pleasurable than scratching an itch.

then you meet the right person. the one you have been waiting for all your life (for most of us there is more than one - but not that many). the person who really could take you into the realm of the fabulous.

but it is too late. you have got into the habit of cheap sex, and - like someone who eats at mcdonalds three times a week - you just can't taste what is special about this time any more. (you may not even realise that this time might have been special).

....

this isn't to say that there is anything irreparable about giving your virginity (though you can only give it once). and i certainly wouldn't argue that anybody should imagine that there is only one man for each woman, and only one woman for each man, on the earth.

but there is such a thing as magical sex, and also such a thing as junk sex, and most people find that they can have one or the other but not both.

those of us who held out for magical sex rarely feel jealous of the other sort.

Answer 10

It all depends on how you view sex. Once you lose your virginity, you can't get it back. If that doesn't matter to you, then you have no moral problems with it. If it's just a physical thing, like scratching an itch, then go ahead - it's fun.

The important thing to consider about sex, regardless of your age, is why both of you are having it. As long as one person hasn't set up unreasonable expectations or meanings that aren't reciprocated by his or her partner, then all is fine.

Answer 11

Whenever I write something good, such a letter to a friend, a poem or a laundry list, I always try to get clean and fresh paper. Who like to start on soiled and wrinkled paper? Do used or refurbished goods get the same value as never used ones?

If someone really answers why having sex b4 marriage is wrong, I would also like to get an answer to the question why having sex with a minor is wrong, if there are no physical harm done and the minor express no mental agiations either.