Example: Whenever there's any issues, or big decisions, reasons, explanations or just about anything that comes up within your houshold...that you the husband, or the wife was able to find the best solution or answer.....what do you feel when your wife or husband had to always call their father or mother to have the final say on any matter?
Shouldn't one should just respect and trust one's decision especially if one knows more about it?
2007-09-28 07:00:23 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
absolutely not - deal with it as a couple
2007-09-28 07:03:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh heck no. My wife and I don't need to consult our parents on any issues. However, we both realize that our parents have more experience in a lot of areas than we do, so in some cases we talk to our parents and get their opinions on things. Our parents don't make the decisions for us; we just ask them general questions without telling them that we're trying to make a decision on something, and as a result we get the most objective opinions we can from them. Then WE make the decision based on all the information we have. The key here is WE make the decisions. Even in areas where one of us has more expertise or has the "better" solution, we talk things out and we often defer to each other when we know the other is more knowledgeable.
2007-09-28 07:06:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may contact my family if I need another opinion on something but ultimately I don't do what they want necessarily. I take it in to consideration along with all the other information I've gathered. I find that people that do this are usually young and haven't been married that long and haven't made very many big, important life decisions.
In the end, as long as you both respect each others opinions, weigh all of the information and make an informed decision together, that's all that matters.
If she taking he parents advise and not including you in the decision making process, then that is wrong and you need to discuss it.
2007-09-28 07:08:02 · answer #3 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a very close relationship with my dad and before I was married, I always consulted with him when I had big decisions to make. He always was very generous, non-judgemental and wise. Now that I'm married, my husband and I are each other's confidants and no one's parents enter into big decisions. That's the way I like it because his mother is a total busybody. I have a feeling that if things were seriously wrong in my marriage, I would turn to my father for advice and guidance, though.
2007-09-28 07:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by Lee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what it is you are trying to decide.
If it is big things, there is nothing wrong with getting input
from sources that have been there, done that. It is just advice.
If you don't want the advice don't take it. It's good to get a different perspective on things...not just from parents, but from trusted friends, pastor etc... Always talk about the different choices you have then make a decision as a couple.
2007-09-28 07:12:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you but at the same time my parents are older and wiser than my husband and I. Many times when making financial or career decisions my husband will encourage me to call my dad to ask him what he thinks we should do. It's nice to have a third opinion, not to make the decision for us, but to make sure that the decision we came to as a couple is best.
2007-09-28 07:38:50 · answer #6 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has a great relationship with his parents, and I know that he does share things with them and consults them on issues. But the final decision is always made by us - myself and him. I trust my parents-in-law, they always have good advice, and they would never impose their opinion on us, even when it's different. So I really have no problem asking for their input.
I do discuss things with my parents, but they live in a different country, and they don't always appreciate the cultural differences. I respect their advice, but I don't always follow it to the letter; everything I hear must pass my own judgment test.
2007-09-28 07:09:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, we make our own decisions and we may together tell our parents. But someone who has to make every decision based on their parents advice is married to their parents and not their spouse, it shows that they don't trust the decision of their spouse or respect them.
All decision for your household should come from your household the two of you should make plans and decisions together and carry them out and if you need advise from an outsider, then do that together not run to them first with out consulting the other person.
2007-09-28 07:05:08 · answer #8 · answered by justaboutpeace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There needs to be some balance.
On the one hand, it is sometimes good to seek the advise of an older and wiser person on emotional issues. They can help us identify our motivations and impulses.
On the other hand, owning more and more of our decisions is a part of the process of growing up.
2007-09-28 07:13:08 · answer #9 · answered by TruthSeeker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband's parents have both passed, but my parents live about 5 miles from us. Occasionally I will call my dad to ask a quick question about something, but for the most part we handle the big things on our own. It is always nice though to get another opinion.
2007-09-28 07:07:22 · answer #10 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When a matter comes up it should be the couple who decides on what to do not a third party. They can seek advice elsewhere but the final decision should be between them.
2007-09-28 07:13:00 · answer #11 · answered by tjmoore83102 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋