we had long distance relationship since our early teens... and I trust him with all of my heart... he is very giving, loving, caring, fun to be around... and he always makes me smile even if he is very far from me... we always talk on msn from evening to early morning and he never misses it no matter how tired he is... it been 3 yrs he been asking for me to marry him... but he live very far and it meant I had to leave my home town to be with him... so we broke up for a yr and I meet someone else which he did not approve and he was very hurt by my action.... and it been a month he has come to my home town to fix things between us... I broke up with this other guy I met and I don’t want to have any thing to do with him... he is a 100% loser... and he is happy living like one too.
how do I choose someone who truly loves me or my family... he says we will visit my home town as much as I like but sooner or later u have to leave ur parents home? It is true but not an easy thing to do. He has his business and house in London and I live in NY... which he hates... I am not so much fun of NY life too. But we are both 21 yrs old with a few family and family friends there... I feel I need my family every single day
2007-09-28 06:12:14 · 26 answers · asked by . 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you are young and while your folks are pretty young too you should give london a chance. travel while you can. if it doesn't work or you don't like it you can always come back.
2007-09-28 06:16:32 · answer #1 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OK I too could not live with not being near my family. I see my mom EVERY day! So I know where you are coming from as far as being away from them but you have to remember that you cannot live with your parents forever and you will have to define your OWN life at some point in the near future. If you truly love this man and believe it could work then why deny yourself the right to be happy? If he has his own business you probably will be able to travel home often right? I know it is not the same (my mom moved out of state when I turned 18 for her husband's job and was gone for 4 years) but you will still see each other. Maybe eventually after things start going right you can negotiate moving closer with him. There are always options. You are young but you are old enough to start living life on your own. Best wishes dear and please make sure you think all these life changing decisions through in entirety before setting something in stone.
2007-09-28 06:31:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leaving NY to go to another state is one thing, but leaving the country? I don't understand the "relationship". Just because you have a good long distance relationship with someone doesn't mean it's gonna be good in person. I say drop him and find someone in your own part of the world. if he wouldn't even consider moving to NY and working there, too, for you- then he's not worth your time and effort. Why should YOU be the one that packs up and leave slal you know just to be with him? You shouldn't. It's called compromising. The relationship doesn't sound mature enough. You are both young. Why rush things. I think if you give in and move to be with him and eventaully marry him, you will regret it. Sounds like you wanna be around your family more than you wanna be around this dude. Which is understandable. I wouldn't wanna be far from my parents either. I don't believe that having a constant long distance relationship is a true relationship. Yes you can get to know someone over the phone, e mails, etc. But I don't think you can truely and honestly know and understand that person until you are around them all the time. It takes more than e mails, phone coversations, and IM's til the wee hours of the morning to build a relationship. I say drop him and move on. You're young. Enjoy yourself and life. Don't chain yourself to him. And don't let him guilt trip you. He doesn't own you. When ya'll broke up and you dated someone else, it wasn't his decision to approve or disapprove of who you dated. if the relationship was over it was over. He can't tell you who to date and who not to date and whether you can date at all. He sounds controlling. Good luck!
2007-09-28 06:25:52 · answer #3 · answered by Brio 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
omg he might love you but that's an ultimate sacrifice. how do you know he won't change and you are in a foreign place no where to go where's your help. how does your family feel if they don't like definitely don't leave. my mom did that and it didn't work out she moved back to her home town and had to start over. i going to say no because y'all broke up. i don't care how long y'all have been together never go back with exes. leave him cut him off forgive him and don't look back on the past. if you have to get advice it isn't right because if you wanted to do it you would already be there. trust in god and pray on it don't do it this is just a test and it will better you, don't stay in contact feelings will come back. escape this bondage you are young and will meet someone else. do the right thing and think about your future.
2007-09-28 06:27:21 · answer #4 · answered by silly willy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this man, go with him. I know exactly what it feels like to be torn between someone you love and your family. I made a wrong choice, but thankfully I have been given a second chance to make things work. I know you probably feel like you are betraying your family by leaving, but you are betraying yourself of happiness if you stay. It is only natural to feel scared, but all living things leave the nest to venture out and make their OWN life. This man seems to really love you and true love is hard to find, most never find it.
In your heart you know if this relationship is worth fighting for. No one can answer that but you. Good luck!!!
2007-09-28 06:28:47 · answer #5 · answered by Gretta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were able to maintain a full time relationship with a Man in another country for many years using the internet. You could do the same thing with your family! Have a web cam visit every night with your family back home to ease the seperation pains. If you love him and he loves you - you should give it a try.
2007-09-28 06:28:43 · answer #6 · answered by mraandmisse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is genuine with what he is saying, especially since he came to NY to see about fixing the problems in the relationship. I would say go visit for a little while and kind of get a feel for how things would be if you moved there and then make your decision. If things don't work out you can always move back.
2007-09-28 06:19:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I would feel forced. I would want him to move but it sounds like that isn't happening. I live in the same town I grew up in. Being around my family is important to me. If my husband got a good job opportunity I would be will to move.
For you I would be leary of moving so far away, with no support around you to be with someone that you've really had mostly a MSN relationship. It's really a personal decision. To me there are good men out there, right in your neighborhood you just have to look. But if you really love him go for it... you can always come back.
2007-09-28 06:18:24 · answer #8 · answered by girlnextdoor409 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Give London a chance, if you dont like it you can move back to your parents. Travel and enjoy life while you are young. You may regret it later in life if you dont. The man in London sounds like a great man. Sometimes in life true love like that only comes once in a life time. I would say go for it. Give him a chance to and it sounds like he really loves you since hes waited all this time but I wouldnt make him wait any longer.
2007-09-28 06:46:30 · answer #9 · answered by llexiann30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him give it a shot.
You will meet new friends and have a good time, you need to step outside of the box and live a little.
Your family will be fine... If anything you family would want you to do what makes you happy.
Or you can stay with you family and hope to meet another guy some day who lives in the area..
2007-09-28 06:17:35 · answer #10 · answered by nelppik 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I personally had moved away for 12 years from my family and ended up moving back. U know, but I do feel family is important, especially for women. I will tell u why, we need that emotional connection to be happy. If he was leaviing his family, that is different, (u mean london england??), but to leave the continent or entire state is a huge step. If your not happy, your relationship will suffer anyways.
Its best to know your limits. AGE has nothing to do with cutting the ties from family. Family ties are NEVER cut. So, reality is, if you need your family to be accessible to you, then that is a reality and you need to choose between distancing yourself from your family or choosing to move with him.
You are quite young interms of a strong committment, live your life........making decisions based on attaining a man will only make you regret it years later when you realize who you really are.
2007-09-28 06:22:23 · answer #11 · answered by Celebrate 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋