I am so mad right now, my husband never wants sex and when he does its so one sided, he doesnt care about me at all, I never say anything because thats hard for me to talk about but finally i talked to him about how i felt and was nice about it because I know men think we are attacking them and all he said was" you look too far into things" and " we'll talk when you're not being stupid" he couldnt care less that I feel rejected and had nothing to justify why he never wants to have sex! Im sooo mad...am I being stupid or is he being an ***???
2007-09-28 05:54:17 · 17 answers · asked by must<3dogs 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its not just the fact that Im not getting any, its also the fact that when I try to talk about things and be an adult he starts a big huge fight and gets mad at me!
2007-09-28 06:42:35 · update #1
No he is the one being a stupid a**. Try a more seductive approach and see if you can get him to speak your language.
Guys can't seem to talk about sex unless you are stroking his ego and something else at the same time. You going without is probably half the reason you are feeling so tense. Maybe you can catch him in a good mood and talk him into a fun night, buy some over the counter mood inhancers and some baby oil, maybe you can try getting him all worked up and then flip it on him to where he pleases you first than focus on his needs. Good luck to you...hope you are smiling soon! :)
2007-09-28 06:40:04 · answer #1 · answered by CINDY J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will never understand this. For the most part in the worl it seems that out of the couple it is always the opposite, man wants sex maens woman dosent, and vice versa. However if he is actually keeping you from having sex with him then I would be thinking about the whole relationship and what else he dosent bring to the table. Is he lacking in other aspects of the relationship? People sex is a major part in relationships and marriages, and if you cant share that closness with one another then there is a good chance that many other things may go bad. There is alot of emotion that goes into the health of relationships. He NEEDS to find himself and nurture you, and man If you need that release then tell him hey give it up or I'll go get it. Not that an affair is OK but dang. Gotta fix somthing.
2007-09-28 06:14:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it's hard to remember that men are different than women. They think and act differently Sometimes, they act like jerks. Don't have a clue why he doesn't want sex. I thought most men always wanted it, when they are younger.
I've got an issue right now where after 22 years of working together, I am looking for a job. While he says he supports me, his comments say otherwise. He wants me to basically hold his hand and watch him so he doesn't make mistakes. He can ask me to do something and I will jump and do it. He doesn't realize that my major depression is because of HIM and the situation that he has caused over the years.
I don't think you are being stupid. He is being an @ss. He is being a man. (Sorry but I'm so mad right now and I hope a job comes through REALLY FAST!)
2007-09-28 06:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree that he is being an A**. I have seen this alot and i think you may be right that he doesn't care alot about your needs or desires. In most cases, men that are like this are also not very good at it as well. Not that they cant be they just don't ever think past their own pleasure to care if you are. They are being selfish and most times have very little interest in sex because of how they feel about that person in general. Meaning It is likely that he doesn't love you like he says he does. I am sure you have been a very giving and selfless wife to him and most likely you probably spoiled him by expecting very little for all you have given. It is very common to both women and men of this nature to end up being used and mistreated.
I say you try more to think about your needs and stand up for your self and let it be known that you will not live life unappreciated and without feeling desired as well. If it don't change, Than leave for a while and see if that wakes him up to think about what feelings he does have and weather he has true love enough for you to fear loosing you to someone else.If not, move on and be happy you didn't waste your life in a relationship without mutual love,respect and good intimacy.
Good Luck!
2007-09-28 06:05:47 · answer #4 · answered by vmaxer85 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here is the question, is that he doesn't want to have sex or is it that he does not want o have sex with you? And if its one sided, why it is that way? These are questions you need to ask yourself. Or maybe you have a higher sex drive than he does. Or try maybe warming him up in the morning with love notes and little touches and leave little messages throughout the day and hopefully by the time you both get home from work you are both so warm that your lovemaking will great for the both of you.
Just some suggestions.
2007-09-28 06:03:42 · answer #5 · answered by TBobb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally relate. I am on the other side of that scenario where my wife never wants it and we argue all the time about it. We have been to counciling several times and it seems she will never give in an my needs are not really important. I wish I had an answer for you because I am still in the middle of deciding where I am going with my relationship. If you come up with any good answers let me know .
2007-09-28 06:00:56 · answer #6 · answered by twinturbo1994 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Must 3 dogs, sounds like your both handling this pretty immaturely. He by not taking your wants, needs and desires seriously. And you by not standing up for your rights and just getting angry rather then trying to resolve this matter. If you two cannot discuss this in a mature and open minded manner than it may be necessary to call in a professional and either seek the help of a marriage and/or sex therapist. Best of luck to you boht in helping solve this issue.
2007-09-28 06:01:10 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being stupid, sex is part of marriage. You need to let him know that this is something that is really bothering you and you both need to talk about it. Do you try different things? You might try and show up in a costume or sexy lingerie to get him going. Is there something that he has fantasized about?
2007-09-28 06:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by why ask 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It a case of both of you needing to re connect your emotional erotic sides. He is just getting lazy when it comes to sex. You on the other hand may not be doing enough to make him feel erotic enough to WANT to please you in bed. Work at it and it will thrive. Ignore things and it will die forever!!!!! Try giving him somethign thats one sided for a change like a BJ. Then he really has no excuse not to please you back.
2007-09-28 06:03:01 · answer #9 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to be upset. Sex is important part of marriage and BOTH partnes need to find a way to satisfy each other. As for not wanting sex ? Does he have medical problem? Is he over-worked?
2007-09-28 06:05:15 · answer #10 · answered by ensoman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋