I don't want to hurt his feelings. He's not going to be working here after today, but will still be coming in every once in a while to do some small jobs. What should I tell him? He knows I'm married (he's also married) and that doesn't seem to stop him. I don't want this to turn into stalking! Should I just be rude and honest & tell him that he's just a friend/brother. Please help!! Don't respond if you're just going to say something stupid! This is serious for me.
2007-09-28 05:52:13 · 27 answers · asked by Jen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to be direct with him! Tell him in no uncertain terms "I am married and NOT interested in you". Trying to be nice to these kind of people only feeds their delusions and usually does wind up leading to stalking. If he doesn't stop after that, tell your husband to have a little "chat" with him!
2007-09-28 05:57:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well being rude is not the way to go...but honestly this guy is married, he knows YOU'RE married so he's not really in love with you. He may like you but i feel this isn't something you should concern yourself with.... Just let him know that you see him as just a friend. I really feel that you shouldn't feel bad about whatever happens or how he feels b/c he's wrong for this. And look at the bright side, it's not like you have to see him everyday!!
2007-09-28 06:00:18 · answer #2 · answered by Tears are *Diamonds* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly if the fact that your both married isnt enough to get this guy off your back I dont know what to tell you. It may come down to doing something more drastic. Tell him you love your husband and wouldnt think of hurting him in any way. if that doesnt help you may at least want to go on notice with both your personel department as well as your husband in case something of a stalker nature happens.
2007-09-28 05:57:29 · answer #3 · answered by Devdude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he knows your married you must be talking with this guy. And how do you know he is in love with you? Sounds like you both started something you both can't get out of.
Start the silence treatment and do it now before its too late. Ignore him. The more you respond to this guy in any shape or form he will continue to persue you. If you love your husband you should not have to think about hurting his feelings or been rude.
Good luck with the others answers.
2007-09-28 06:06:59 · answer #4 · answered by X-Woman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being honest is one of the main parts of being married, if you do not trust your mate in marriage you do not have a marriage.
This guy sounds like a bit of a nut case and you should stay as far away from him as possible, he does not sound like the kind of guy I would want as a friend or a brother.
2007-09-28 06:14:07 · answer #5 · answered by mikepruitt71 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest. Do not be rude about it. Tell him you Love your husband and that he is only a friend. If he does not take that as an answer, and you see him following you wherever you go, get a protective order.
2007-09-28 05:59:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him that because you're both married, there's no chance of anything happening between you. Then tell him, that aside, you only think of him as a dear friend.
Let him down gently, but whatever you do, nip this in the bud while you still can.
Good luck with that.
2007-09-28 05:57:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I agree w/ the 2nd person. Tell him to back off. People like that use niceness as an advantage. Plus he's married and that makes him pond scum. Quit beating around the bush and be up front...be like "HEY PAL, I'M HAPPILY MARRIED AND AIN'T INTERESTED IN YOU." Worse comes to worse tell your boss that the dude won't leave you alone.
2007-09-28 06:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by samcane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say, "Look, I am flattered that you find me attractive, etc. but I love my husband and am not going to cheat on my marriage." Just lay it out like that in those absolute terms. If he does start being Creepy Stalker Man, get the HR department of your office involved. That is a form of sexual harrassment, and you don't have to take it!
2007-09-28 06:03:09 · answer #9 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be blunt, don't lead him on, then it will turn into a mess. Be polite, but very clear with him, mixed signals can be awful. Then if he doesn't back off report him to the company, these situations can turn very ugly if you are not careful with him. If it ever did turn into a stalker ordeal, get to the authorities right away, don't take the risk.
2007-09-28 05:56:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋