I am newly married and want to get a divorce?

Question

We have been married for about 2 months and I can't take it anymore. I have known my husband for over 7 years and we lived together for 2 years. He recently switched jobs and is always busy at work and I recently lost my job. A lot of times he stays out late and hangs out with his friends, even though he knows I am bored and alone at home. He says it's the pressure from the job that makes him stay out late and drink with his friends.
If I do something he thinks is wrong he gives me the silent treatment for a week until I beg him to talk to me. At this point I am so fed up and can't take it anymore. We recently moved and I have no friends and no job. I really can't turn to my family because they never wanted me to marry him in the first place.

I really do not know what to do.

He was not always like this. This change in him came after the new job which coincidently we got right before we got married.

Answer 1

Known for 7 years, lived together for 2....married 2 months.

So...all this time I guess you were blind or asleep huh?
Thought I'd be peaches and cream did you? Thought he'd change? maybe that it was 'just a phase".

Solve your own problem. You made it happen. now lets see how talented you are on extricating yourself from this.

Answer 2

Your situation sounds miserable but is leaving the marriage really the right solution? It's hard to move away from friends at any age. If your family doesn't approve of your husband, it makes it super tough. If you love this man from the bottom of your heart and married him for all the right reasons, you should seek professional counseling. Perhaps you don't have the tools you both need to make a marriage work. A marriage needs commitment to go the distance and it's often a lot of work. Remember your vows and take them seriously. You sound loney, so do something about it. Being married doesn't mean the two of you should stop growing as individuals. Look for a new job and make some new friends. Marriage is not a form of entertainment that you leave when it seems boring. It's a lifetime commitment to each other and it's up to both of you to keep it exciting.

Answer 3

First, call your family. They will be happy to hear from you no matter who you married. They may even be willing to help you move on if you decide to leave your husband. Just make sure, before you go, that your husband is at fault and its not the boredom, guilt, maybe depression? causing you to 'feel' like he has changed. Sometimes things are NOT as they seem. Keep looking for work and make a few friends along the way, that way YOU may have something to do besides analyze every aspect of your new husband. No one is perfect, and at least you didn't have an infidelity to ask about. Hang in there, time will often work these kinds of things out if you don't give up on WANTING your marriage to work.

Answer 4

I think you should find something to do with your time because in all of your idle time you are finding negative things about this person whom you've been with all this time. Do some volunteer work just to get to know some people in the public. Do you have children? If so try to find some type of support for stay at home moms.He might be upset because he is the only one working. You guys really need a heart to heart and ask him what is that you do for him that made him want you to be his wife? Dig deep to save your relationship but you can't do it alone, if he isn't willing then it's all in vain.
If he acts like a child and doesn't talk to you for a week is this something that occured before in your relationship? It's hard to answer this question with so little information. Love yourself enough to be a strong woman and stand up for yourself most of all. Sorry I can't be of more help not knowing the whole situation. I wish you the best

Answer 5

I think you loved each other that is why you married. Why, certainly, you can always turn to your family. Tell them in advance that you don't want to hear their, " I told you so's.".
Marriage is a compromise, so he has to meet you half way at least. I don't like the drinking with buddies as this can lead to problems. I think if I were in this situation, I would communicate all , and if he isn't willing to change, one can not blame you for wanting to annul the marriage. I think in some states you have that option within 6 months so find out from your town clerk. Start it moving, and you don't have to tell him a second time if he refuses to change. He may or may not want to help the marriage, but don't give him three chances.

Answer 6

Well, start by looking for a new job. Once you are able to find one, this will relieve bordum. Also, try to join him and his friends to show that you too accept his friends. Who knows, it might be fun. Also, let him know that you want to have alone time with him as well, but don't demand it all the time. People, girls and guys alike, get annoyed when demanded to spend time with one person all the time. Everyone likes a little space every now and then.

Answer 7

First, get out there and find a job--don't be picky take whatever is available.

Then get out there and make some friends of your own. How? Church groups, art clubs, book clubs.....find something that you are interested in and get invovled!

You do know that it not not your husband's job to make a life for you. That is up to you.

Now you made the commitment to get married, stop whining and start making things better!

Answer 8

love.. the exact same thing just happened to me.. except i am the male and it was my girlfriend who was always so busy as i was setting up my business and one for her too which she now took for herself .. she always had the mobile ringing always had secretive outings.. the drink nights.. and evnetually after 5 long and horrible years where i did nothing but wait at home for her to arrive.. she never ONCE woke up on a weekend before midday.. not once!! and i lost countless firneds and for a while felt totally trapped.. she made me spend money on stuff i am now satuck with .. and will probably just dump thousands worth of items as we set up a home together..

eventiually.. she made up some lame excuse that it was all my fault.. and ran off with some gu she had been meeting during the course of these secretive drink nights.. she denies and has not even fronted me.. after 5 years together living together too she could not look me in the eye and tell me it was over and she never officially dumped me.. she just kinda phased it out.. how nice for her..

Lisa.. JUST LEAVE!! dont take crap in a relationship if its gonna be like that then be single.. why bother.. that's what i now plan to do.. just become a sexual beast and not care what anyone thinks coz behind that i will be piling away all my money and no more partner to steal it away after 5 years..


its sad i am becoming the very person i despise.. but will always assirt that woman made me do it.. maybe u can do the same and just blame men for it.. i dunno.. but i wouldnt ever wait around for anyone ever again.. my limit of waiting for a partner is 5 minutes then she can catch a bus home..

Answer 9

If you want to divorce him, divorce him. He sounds like a jerk. Have you tried telling him how miserable you are? And how far he has pushed you too? That you are considering divorce. Maybe you should say that to him if you want to still give it a shot? If you've done all this, you may still be able to annul it instead of divorce.
Even though your family didn't want you to marry him, they will still be there for you. I promise. You can go to them for help, tell them you just don't want to hear the "I told you so's" and you need them to love and support you right now. Get your life back now.

Answer 10

Sounds like he is trying to escape through his friends and staying out late. I would tell him not to come home the next time he thinks he is gonna stay out like a party boy. Put his stuff on the porch.