he pays me the exact amount of money he is meant to, he works fulltime earning a good wage and he is with another woman who also works fulltime. i am on a disability pension and dont have another partner. it is just me and my 2 children aged 14 and 15 they both are at school fulltime and the 15 year old has just got a part time job on sataurday and thursday nights, what i want to know is would it be right for me to ask my ex to also help to pay for our kids braces for their teeth and school fees and costs and on school holidays to maybe pay for the kids to go to the movies every once in a while or some kind of entertainment for them. he never gives the kids any money for themselves or takes them anywhere or even has them for a night as his new girlfriend does not like our kids. they do not have any other kids together. before he met her he used to see the kids all the time and give them money and help me out with extra money if we needed it. but it has all stopped now so should i ask?
2007-09-28 05:08:35 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Read through your orders; I'm betting there is probably something in there about paying a portion for medical and school expenses as well as child support. If there isn't then you should go back to court and have a modification done.
As for "entertainment" that's unnecessary and uncalled for. If he doesn't want to spend time with his kids, that's his prerogative, but it shouldn't be up to him to pay for movie tickets. At 14, your younger one could babysit, tutor, cut lawns, run errands, etc. And since the 15 yo has a job, then that's that.
2007-09-28 05:15:46 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I would ask him why he stopped helping pay for other things for the kids since he's been with her. Do let him know this isn't by any means to argue about her this is strickly about the children. Let him know that they need braces and you like it if he could help out in some way. I am sure that he knows that you are unable to work and if you could afford it then you would but at this time you can not and really need his help. As far as helping the children go out occasionally I wouldn't ask for that because that is not needed that is just extra and, if you can't afford it then they dont need to do it however, you should just ask him that maybe he should pick them up sometime soon and should take them out to a movie or something because they have wanted to go for some time and you don't have the money to do it so, you figured it would be nice for the children and him to have some quality time together.
2007-09-28 05:18:16 · answer #2 · answered by smalltalk4you 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe he is missing time with his kids just cause his new lady doesn't like them. My new lady would go before my kids! I am wondering how much he pays currently. I pay about $600 per month for each child (3 kids).... I am now making about 52K a year. So, if he is not close to that, maybe a trip back to court would be in order. Every 2 years you can go back and check on support with the court. Hope this helps.
2007-09-28 05:18:46 · answer #3 · answered by Wayne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a divorce lawyer but in most cases medical expenses for the child such as braces are usually paid by both parties. Like w/ my mom and dad, my father was ordered to pay half of all medical expenses which included my braces...my dad never paid..but thats whole other story. As far as the spending money for the kids. Thats a tough one. Since its for the kids my first response would be yes but I would ask. Theres no harm in just asking him. Just let him know that the budgets tight and would he mind helping out a little for the school fees and such.
2007-09-28 05:25:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely ask. Try to do it in a nice, calm way. And give specific examples of what is needed. Doesn't his child support obligation make him responsible for half of all medical expenses such as braces? Don't mention the new woman at all. Good luck.
2007-09-28 05:14:00 · answer #5 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You may want to check your court order and see if he is required to pay for half of your medical and education costs.
You may be able to go to court and ask for more money. In California, there is a help center at the court house that will help with child support forms. The forms are quite simply and will save the cost of an attorney.
2007-09-28 05:15:44 · answer #6 · answered by Steve B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Suggest it but don't demand it. If you and your ex are still on good terms, just let him know that you still want him to be in your kids' lives and that they still need him. Also, don't ask for any expenses that have to do with you. Since he is your ex, he has no obligation to pay any of your own personal expenses. Since it has something to do with both of your kids, then that isn't stretching it too far. Just don't seem desperate or forcefull, just suggest it without causing any fights.
2007-09-28 05:15:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me, Child Support pays for the childs meals, clothes and to put a roof over their head. As far as braces, school fees, etc, he should pay at least half for. Now, if he is paying like $1000 for each child each month, then I would say he is already paying for it, but if he is just paying like $400 or less per child, then he should be able to pay for braces. Afterall, they are his kids too, and if you and he were still together, he would pay for that stuff anyhow. That is how I look at it, if you and he were still together, would he pay for those types of things? Yes he would. There is a but to this, if you do ask him to pay for that, then he does get say on where to go, how much to spend, etc. In other words, you can't tell him Little Johnny wants gold braces that cost $20,000 and expect him to pay for it, or if you keep asking him for money for field trips, he has the right to refuse paying for them all.
Also, as far as an allowance or giving money for themselves, in reality, he is, its what the child support is for, even though its to pay for meals and clothes, anything extra is theirs. So, if you get $1000 per child, but only use $500 per child, then the child should get the remaining, or it be put into a fund under their name. Its not your money to use to buy you new clothes, understand what I am saying?
2007-09-28 05:18:30 · answer #8 · answered by George P 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sure you can ask and more than likely the answer will be a big fat NO. If you and your man hating lawyer didn't get enough fat off of his back then too bad for you. You should have thought of this stuff while you were in court, not now. I suppose if his girlfriend, who probably really appreciates him and is really hot with no stretch marks all over her body, wins the lottery you'll want half of that. Go ahead and ask, then watch him smile and walk away. You took the hand that was dealt to you now deal with it and quit looking to sponge off of the man who's life you ruined. He's back on his feet and you want to kick him down again, women UGH!!
2007-09-28 05:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
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2014-10-11 07:11:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋