My husband asked for a divorce in November 2006. He said he needs his space, and that he feels that I am not helping with the household bills. He gets paid more then I and he said he will pay 70% of the bill and I pay 30%. After 5 years know he don't like it this way. Along with this his family fills as if I am keeping him from them. Yes, they are invited to our house when we have things. They don't like me and I have been okay with it. He also said we don't have the same out look in life. However, he filed for a divorce, but that's all he has done. Now he is asking to come back after almost a year. Yes I still love him and yes I let him go. I had to show him that I could things with or without him. IT just was better with tow peolpe. My question is, "Am I a foul if I let him back or If I do let him back should I be thinking in the back of my mind that one day he's going to ask to leave again"? Any advice, tell me what you think!!
2007-09-28 05:02:57 · 13 answers · asked by babygirlvic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before you and your husband can get back together you both first must seek counselling in order to work through the issues that broke you two up in the first place. Otherwise the decision to get back together will only be based on the fact that you both have missed each other, which is a good start but not enough to reassure yourselves that down the line the same old problems will not arise. Your husband was disatisfied in the marriage, he obviously speaks about his problems to his family for them to quickly judge and decide they do not like you, he had second thoughts if you both were compatible by saying you both do not have much in common due to not having the same outlook in life, bottom line, these problems have not gone away. Work on the issues first and hold off getting back together unitl then. Best of luck to you both!,
2007-09-28 05:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only u can decide if u want him back or not, if u truely love him, then maybe u should give it a shot BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
You should make him prove to u that he's changed his ways, if u just let him back in where things left off then ur marriage will just hit the same low again down the road.. Obviously he's realized that he needs u, perhaps even realized maybe that his family was poisoning his thoughts of you, but if i were u , id make him "court" you again.. Go out on a dates with him..see if your heart and mind can come to the same conclusion on what u should do.. because i realize ur heart is saying "take him back" , and ur mind is saying "he'll only hurt u again".. i say take it slow take it one day at a time, and treat it as if this was a new relationship, and if he really wants u back, he'll be willing to do what it takes to get u back, dont jump back into bed with him.. dont let him back into the house .. go slow, go have fun, rekindle what u once had, and after a few months if u believe he's changed his ways give it another shot, if u realize that he's only doing this cause he cant make it on his own or just cause he's lonely and he hasnt changed at all.. then just go back to where u are now..
Good luck..
2007-09-28 05:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I would go on in my life because he has already shown you how you cannot count on him. If he thought to want me back in his life he could have just as well thought to work it out with me staying with me and not asking for a divorce. He has had a year of being free and single and if he had other women while making up his mind about me I would just forget it!! He married you and marriage is about committment and staying together through the bad and the good his answer to the issues he had about you was to end it all and that tells you whole lot about his true character. Also, you had to deal with his family that did not even accept you or respect you and I would not want that stress in my life again if it were me. I am sorry but I would not do it .....I would keep focusing on myself and find someone in my life that could really be there for me and had a decent family that supported us! Life is to short to waste anymore time with him and his bunch ....So I would think HELL NO not again!!!
2007-09-28 05:48:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should always try to save your marriage and you do love him. Tell him that he can come back this once, if he leaves again it's over for good... Make sure the money arrangement stays as it was, just to see if he is really back for you and not for the hope of more money from you. Make him tell you what he expects out of the marriage this time around and what is different than last time. Good luck.
2007-09-28 05:10:38 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he ever seeing someone else and maybe that's why he was asking for space? It must be really hard for you to make a decision because you will always have that fear of what if he leaves you again but only you could know what is best for you. Can you see yourself without him for the rest of your life? Sometimes people need to withdraw themselves from a current lifestyle to clear their minds. We sometimes need to loose something to know how valuable they are to us. But then again it shouldn't have taken a almost a year. Just listen to your heart and look for what is only best to your interest.
Good Luck
2007-09-28 05:14:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he forgot to cut the apron strings. I would absolutely not let him back. It sounds like he would expect the relationship to pick up where it left off, but that is impossible as it left off in a divorce.
He might change, but that is for the next person to deal with. If you take him back you are giving him the green light to act exactly as he did before.
If you would consider it, however, you need to start from scratch. Dating, RULES, and do not live together. He is NOT your husband. If you do date and he starts questioning your whereabouts when you are not with him, DUMP AND RUN.
2007-09-28 05:10:16 · answer #6 · answered by wizard8100@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have a LONG talk with him before I let him back. Make sure he hasn't been screwing around this past year, find out the REAL reasons he wanted away from you, etc.
He might have needed some time to realize that you are what he wants/needs in life. I would listen to him before making any decisions.
2007-09-28 05:13:18 · answer #7 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends... is there a reason he wants to come back..did you file for child support - alimony, and he doesn't want to pay it - and its a money issue? he is maybe figuring out its cheaper to live with you- then away from you.
would you be a fool? Maybe...maybe not..you won't know until you do it...
he might leave again..he might not..nobody can know that..even you - maybe he doesn't even know himself..because nobody can predict the future..
but, if its something you want in life..take him back...its a chance you have to take.
if it could possible be a money issue(as stated above..child support/alimony) dump his butt!
2007-09-28 06:09:23 · answer #8 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He WILL ask to leave again. He lives in his own world and you are his puppet. Cut the strings girl. Sure, things are better with 2 people, but he does NOT have to be one of the 2 people. He is manipulative and wishy-washy. Dont let him back in.
2007-09-28 05:48:58 · answer #9 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still love him and he stills loves you then try dating again. See if the relationship is any better then it was before. IF he is still not happy then you need not move him back into the house ect. But take it slowly. My husband and I went through this, he was not being honest and it was all a deception to try to get our son's custody. Be careful.
2007-09-28 05:19:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋