I would like my wife to attend parent/teacher conferences with me for my child who she is very close to.The problem is my exwife(mom) who DOES NOT want my wife to go "as she is not my sons mother".Can my ex "legally" keep my wife from going if i want her there?I have joint custody with my exwife and the only reason my ex does not want her there is bitterness and control issue.if this goes to court what will the judge say?
2007-09-28 04:44:28 · 27 answers · asked by Bob F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My exwife and i have seperate times for the conferences so its not like they have to be in the same room together.
2007-09-28 04:45:20 · update #1
She has no legal right to with hold you new wife.You and your new wife are considered as a family unit.The only other problem you may encounter is the child.Does he/she want step mom there.
2007-09-28 04:49:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well, you have joint custody with her and, as far as your ex wife goes well.... she has to come to a point where she needs to put her feelings aside and know this isn't about you and her this is about the " child" and your wife is there to support you and the child in any situation. I would also suggest talking with the school and show them any documents you have about having joint custody. Let the school know that your wife is coming along and she is there just to support you and let the school know that your child is very close to his stepmother. I am sure if you explain this the school will allow your wife to attend as long as you are with her. As far as the court is concerned well, I would at least get some legal counsil and just ask what are the chances that the judge would allow this? I personally don't see the judge turning in the ex's favor the stepmother is a part of your childs life and is there for your son at all times. Plus this would really be a waste of money on your ex's part to go in front of the judge and complain about the step mother. Hopefully the school and the legal system will see through her jealousness towards her.
2007-09-28 04:56:42 · answer #2 · answered by smalltalk4you 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While the ex can't legally stop the wife from attending, the school can. The child's educational records are private information and the school has the ability to control access.
You are choosing a battle not worth dying over.
And, from experience, if this goes to court, the judge is most likely to tell the two of you to grow up and stop acting like children fighting over a bone.
2007-09-28 04:49:23 · answer #3 · answered by hexeliebe 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is an area over which your ex-wife has no control. Your current wife is a part of the child's life and if she and you wish that to extend to PTA, the ex hasn't a leg to stand on. Insofar as the courts are determined they only care that the current wife is good to the child; as long as she is not doing anything that harms him your decision to include her in the child's upbringing conforms to the custody agreement.
2007-09-28 05:22:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the heck... Bring her with!!! this is YOUR call ..not your ex-wifes... do NOT let her run your life. I'm sure your new wife said the exact same thing as me.. btw - you didn't even have to tell her that you were going to bring her with - it is none of her business.
bring her with..she's your wife....and this is her step-son.
((do not let your ex run your life)).. and no, there is nothing she can do to make your wife not go to conferences..you can bring whoever you feel like bringing with!! if it goes to court..the judge would pretty much laugh in her face..and say that its a waste of his time!
If you give into this..you will be soon giving in to more..like your new wife not being able to attend sporting events for your son,,, or christmas concerts....... put your foot down now.. and do whats right for your wife--and you and her as a couple.....
I personally would NEVER tell my ex husband that his wife couldn't attend something..if i did..i would only be trying to control him.
2007-09-28 05:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by ★★★ Katharine ♥♥♥♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have seperate conference times, why does the bitter ex need to know about this?
the new wife if not your sons mother, but she is and will remain an important adult in your sons life-she can go with you and your ex wife can not stop you or her in any legal way. a judge would see this as an issue you and the ex need to deal with-if not he will probably suggest more mediation and family counseling.
good luck-im going through that now with my stepdaughters mother
2007-09-28 04:50:28 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see any problems why your wife couldn't go. She is his/her step mother. Your ex-wife should appreciate that your wife is willing to take part of your childrens life. I want also advise you to talk to your attorney and ask him/her about the situation. I am a single mother and my fiance attends all my daughters parent teacher conference, plays, awards. If I can't attend then he is there and sometimes my ex is there. Good Luck to you
2007-09-28 04:51:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would depend on why you divorced and how your new wife came into the picture. If you were cheating on your ex with your new wife, it's understandable why she wouldn't want her there. Also, it would be in very bad taste for your new wife to "run salt into the wound" so to speak. If the new wife came into the picture after the divorce and and was not a catalyst, then your ex wife needs to accept that you've moved on.
2007-09-28 05:11:13 · answer #8 · answered by Lioness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she doesn't want an accidental confrontation with you and your new wife. You should respect your ex wife's wishes to not have your new wife attend the PT conferences. You could just take notes while you attend by yourself and relay info to her when you get home. There will probably always be bitterness between the women, and parenting styles will clash. Don't put any more fuel in the fire!
2007-09-28 04:55:43 · answer #9 · answered by Barbeeq 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She is not being bitter she just feels like it is none of your wife's business to have any thing to do with ya'll childs school work, which is true, but if your wife will be around you child alot and will be helping with school than she should go. Your ex wife can not stop your now wife from going. Maybe if she was just your girlfriend and not your wife she can, but since you are married your wife is the stepmother and has some say for the child.
2007-09-28 04:50:31 · answer #10 · answered by <<LIZARD>> 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No, I don't think she has any "legal" right to keep your wife from attending. However, you know its an issue, and really what is the point. You can discuss what happened with your wife at a later time. Bringing her at this highly volatile point is only going to make matters worse, number one. Number two, parent/teacher conferences are about your child. How can you really focus on that when your busy playing referee to your wife & ex-wife? Sounds to me like you're both acting out of spite and one-ups-manship.
2007-09-28 04:50:14 · answer #11 · answered by slushpile reader 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋