If you marry very young say at 17 what are the odds of staying married for life?

Question

I was 17 and my husband 19 when we got married. We've made it through some rough times and are still together. Latelly though I feel that we are growing apart. We've been married for more than ten years and and have children together. He's a great guy and I love him but he never wants to do anything different and I feel like we're in a rut. I wonder how many people last a life time together when they were each others first.

Answer 1

I've been with my husband for almost 10 years and we were in our teens as well when we met. It is not uncommon for couples to hit a "plateau" of sorts after a lengthy period of time. The two of you met when you were young and now you are a little older with older responsibilities. We step into roles as our relationship grows and that becomes a comfortable place when it works. It seems to me that it doesn't quite work for you anymore. That it isn't to say you don't love him, but you are looking to add a little bit to your relationship because doing the same old thing can make any relationship stagnant. But the plus side is this is a very fixable problem that I can't imagine any relationship not going through. It is easy to become comfortable and forget that every relationship needs nurturing and a splash of something new once and a while. if you talk with your husband and talk to family or friends to see if they can watch the kids, make regular dates and do something new each time-maybe even stuff you enjoyed together when you first met. Try to rekindle the uin you had when you were younger but try to keep in mind that you are different people with different needs. Don't let your age ever determine whether or not your relationship will stand the test of time-only the two of you can decide that. Don't forget to appreciate eachother and be grateful that right now you are only trying to find a way to have fun together again not because you don't like each other. You can get back that spark again just talk with your husband and make regular time for the two of you.

Answer 2

Marriage is something you have to work. It is just another job. If YOU want it to work then YOU will have to put time in to it! What were some of the things you used to do? I would say why don't you have someone like Grandma and Grandpa take the kids for the weekend and you plan a spicy little love fest for the two of you. Buy a hot little dress, or meet him at the door in his blazer and tie and nothing else and have a great dinner in the oven while you give him a nice hot bath and tell him how you are going to please him after dinner. Have candles and maybe some wine if you drink I don't but if you do that is fine have some romantic music playing and the phones and TV turned off. Seduce him wear something sexy and take his clothes off nice and slow and don't get into a rut send notes in his lunch box. Plan weekend together, really look into his eyes, kiss him for a full two minutes when he gets home, be happy to see him, look nice for him, make him first, go to church. Marriage is work pretty soon he will catch on and you will be surprised by what he offers in return. I know I was married at 17 and have children and am now 53 and still going. It is work but boy is it worth it, remember your children grow up and leave you but your husband is forever! Good Luck!

Answer 3

Cindy my first wife and I were actually the same age as you and your mate when we married. We were young and foolish at the time and thought that we were so earthly wise and knew everything that there was to know about live and relationships. Sad fact is that we did not. This marriage lasted exactly two years but we did have a wonderful son together and he is now 33 years old and has two daughters of his own, Papa's girls. I am very proud to say that my ex and I remain good friends to this day and would and do help out each other whenever possible. We have both remarried and we and our spouses get together for many family functions and we all get along great. But enough of my tales. A friend of mine married at same time as you and yours and me and my first wife. He and his wife went out for 3 dates, got engaged and married within 3 months. Son of a gun that was 34 years ago and they are still together and very happily married still today. So it is possible but both parties have to work at marriage probably more so then more mature people when they first marry. As with all relationships there will be high and low times. If the two of you are capable of communicating your true feelings and emotions to each other then you can work through anything. Let him know how you have been feeling and ask what he has been feeling and deal with these issues. Best of luck to you both and I do hope that you end up like my friends and prove all the nay-sayers wrong by lasting for eternity together.

Answer 4

The odds that you will stay together are very low if you consider that people are now living alot longer than they used to....a long time ago when people were getting married at 17 they stayed together for life...why? because there life span was probably no older than 35. Now people are still getting married at age 17 but they are living to be 90 which is a long time to stay with one person....not impossible but very hard and unlikely.


However, I would like to believe that it can be done though because i am in the same boat as you...i have been with my husband since i was 16 and i am 24 so i hope it works but i am realistic and know we have a long road to travel and i can't predict the future

Answer 5

Well, of course you realize that marriage isn't always going to be a barrel of fun and excitement every day; some days it's going to get boring and tedious, and some days it's just plain hard work.

What matters is having a little faith in your marriage and your partner, through "good times and bad times...." What matters is developing and nurturing that trusting, committed "bond" between you and your husband. If you're constantly worrying about the "what if......", and the "I love him dearly, but......"; constantly thinking about contingencies, it tends to be a "self-fulfilling prophesy."

I agree that your husband ought to be willing to compromise, to try different things in your relationship, to try and make things "special" between the two of you. However if he is unwilling or unable to do something, or to provide something for the relationship, then there is nothing you can do to change him. You can't "change" other people's behavior, you can only change yourself.

Don';t give up, when you have a good thing going, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, you never really know what you have till you lose it....

Good luck,
~W.O.M.B.A.T.

Answer 6

I would say that you probably stay longer then older people that get married. You really haven't explored what is out there for you to attain in the way of material possessions and financial stability for yourself. With that in mind you cannot grow unless there is total trust and understanding and a considerable amount of freedom within your marriage. I have been single my whole life and I see friends get married and they are seemingly in this competition for the littliest of freedoms with friends on weekends and time away from there own children. That is not the life for me because I want to travel and see the world. No regrets.

Answer 7

nicely first enable me say if 2 human beings particularly love one yet another and knows the belief of being married something is available. Now shall we get all the way down to enterprise. If 2 youthful adults discover one yet another and get married at this age it is going to likely be demanding. Why? through fact first you will omit out on various issues occurring around you acquaintances, different skill destiny spouses that are the appropriate experience for you, college, appropriate careers, college dorm reports, And this right here will ultimately arise in arguments that frequently convey approximately the blame interest and divorce.

Answer 8

A very large percentage of marriages that start that young just do not last a lifetime. As people age, they change. That's fact. Nobody is the same person at 37 as the were at 17...sometimes, couples grow together, often times not. I know I'd never find the guys I dated in my teens acceptable now-I just wouldn't. They aren't bad people, they just aren't anything like me, not now.

Answer 9

Well I believe divorce rate is now at 50%... that is not just among young marriages though. You can't help that you two have grown apart, it just happens sometimes. When you are in your 20's you are trying to figure out who you are, learning about your needs and goals, interests, etc. You just have to figure out is it worth saving? Try to take all actions possible to help the situation first before letting go of your 10 yr. marriage. If these things don't work then get out of the marriage as pleasantly as you possibly can for the kids sake. I wish you the best.

Answer 10

They call it young and full of you know what for a reason. What to keep in mind is that when you are 17 you are still finding yourself, this takes time. I would recommend that you try to make it work with your husband for your kids' sake. I know it may not be easy at times but if you both keep flexible to accommodate each other, you will both see the reason why you married each other to begin with.