Self professed prophet
a manipulator behind the scenes
Never taking responsiblity for your actions
crying woe is me
Not caring about anyone but yourself
being mature and so respected
yet lying to everyone even yourself
Payback is a ***** they say
Words that can be true but whatever
happened to the idea of Pay it forward
which one will you choose?
People after the forteith year crying
I kept my mouth shut I am not a tattletale
great but lets grow up a bit
use the rainbow way
How about telling the truth
and then maybe people would not look at you that way
2007-09-28 04:35:09 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Thanks Kel
I mean straight forward truth
No matter what someones perception on the truth, the truth is still there and if they are lying and crying then their perception of the truth is obviously the lies they have stuck too.
2007-09-28 04:43:49 · update #1
Its not a new expression, it's been around for years, its just the other expression is more well known in our society
2007-09-28 04:44:44 · update #2
Ok, how do I organize them better, I think the first part is fine, its the bottom 4 or 5 lines that need help, what do you think?
2007-09-28 04:45:38 · update #3
Thank you Rodney, I understand what you are indicating.
2007-09-28 06:32:28 · update #4
Thank you Lantaman
2007-09-29 05:27:18 · update #5
Hi acosmotea, the "poem" seems to drift between the descriptive of the past in the singular, some sort of anger directed at an unknown, a question followed by a timeperiod statement, then an implication of abuse followed by an airhead statement and finishing up with a request for Honesty to absolve personal shame.
Pretty good if you were a Priest writing a confession.
Otherwise I would suggest you get a bit of clarity to it, expand some of the thoughts.
Rod
2007-09-28 04:50:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could probably organize your thoughts better.
Well, "crying woe is me" kind of stuck out as disconnected. It doesn't seem to flow from the previous line or to the next line. You've got a lot of catchy one-liners, but you didn't really tie them to the rest of the poem. "Payback is a ***** they say," for example, appeared to come out of no where. If it's important to your poem, expand on it. If it's just a random thought, leave it out.
2007-09-28 11:44:11 · answer #2 · answered by Ronnie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on whose perception of the truth you're talking about.
2007-09-28 11:37:24 · answer #3 · answered by Blue Oyster Kel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've created a new expression: "Pay it forward." Love it!
2007-09-28 11:41:30 · answer #4 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep trying. Good start already.
2007-09-29 04:49:07 · answer #5 · answered by Lantaman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋