the morning after
The sun shimmers off her curly light brown hair
Her eyes now shut in slumber, nothing could compare
Her lips the color of blood from just underneath the skin
I could sit for hours and hours just watching her angelic face
Her breasts sit up perfect, not too big and not too small
I love to kiss her while she sleeps, her breath a metronome
Her perfect flat white stomach, where I rest my head
Perfectly curved female hips, Aprhrodite while in bed
I sometimes think of what she dreams, is it just of me?
Does she dream of childhood, when she was just three
Whichever or whatever, I know her love is true
True as it can ever be, true as Eeyore blue
We soon will be married, two becoming one
With that come some problems, lots of indoor fun
Take my hand, walk with me, across the planet earth
We are what is meant to be, to concieve of three small births
2007-09-28 04:14:03 · 10 answers · asked by The Dark Prince 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
Oh my God!!! This is so beautiful, I'm crying my eyes out here. God, I love you. This is the most precious poem I have ever read in my life.
I love you
Your angel (Mrs. Enrici)
2007-09-28 04:24:20 · answer #1 · answered by . 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At first I thought this might be an Aubade (my favorite type of love poem). ...but alas, no. I'd say you did good in the first six lines, I would be willing to give you the next two depending on what direction you were going. But after that you stop showing and you begin telling.
So you need some work on the last half of the poem.
2007-09-28 04:31:22 · answer #2 · answered by Dancing Bee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lucky lady. Very nicely done with love and depth. I liked it alot. Bravo. Congrats on the nuptials to come!
2007-09-28 04:23:21 · answer #3 · answered by Mele Kai 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reads... like, you should be with another guy.
Writing-wise, it's got more cliche than network television. If I were you, I'd start reading on the morning bus -- unless this nonsense gets you somewhere with your fiancee? Then again, even she'll tire of it soon enough.
2007-09-28 04:21:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Someone is a very lucky woman!
2007-09-28 04:45:21 · answer #5 · answered by Elaine P...is for Poetry 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should stop taking the bus.
2007-09-28 10:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by Bill 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I love your poem and it;s a great poem to your wife to be,,your writings are always good and i love them all...Shelly
2007-09-28 05:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by Cami lives 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
it's very lovely
2007-09-28 04:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by Luckey_101 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's beautiful
2007-09-28 04:38:21 · answer #9 · answered by AJ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah, I think it's nice...
2007-09-28 04:29:07 · answer #10 · answered by orangejuice 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋