ok my wife and I live alone and once in a while my wife will invite her friends over for a movie and snacks it usually around 11:00 pm when they all start to show up(usually all females). Sometimes after the movie she will feel like going shopping for groceries and she takes her friends with her except sometimes not all of them go and one or 2 stay home with me becaus they don't want to go, by this time it is like 12:30 or 1:00 am...this makes me very uncomfortable ...My question is how can i tell her not to leave her friends home alone with me this late without sounding lustful or capable of cheating?
2007-09-28 03:29:41 · 42 answers · asked by Tx Guy 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
these are all great post! you all have inspired me to talk to my wife about this situation. Thank you so much !!!
2007-09-28 03:58:27 · update #1
Honestly, you sound like a normal and healthy guy.
I think that she's the one who is not thinking straight; And, althougth she trusts you, she is inviting the devil in her house herself. Making her aware of that, is your job, if she doesn't take the hint, then she'll be the one to shed tears later on.
Just talk to her about it. I do understand what you are saying, and again, I repeat that you are very honest and healthy.
Despite being married, she is way too naive and take things for granted.
You should be able to resist temptation, but throwing temptation in your face constantly isn't a good idea.
Would you do the same? No, I doubt it.
So, talk to her about it. What IF the woman falls for you, makes a move on you? What's the point in creating unnecessary troubles.
At the end of the day, they are HER friends and you don't need people to hold your hand in your own house and if the woman doesn't want to go, then she should go to her house.
I'd tell her and would consider her warned. If anything was to happen, she'll remember that day and if nothing else, she'd have learnt a valuable lesson.
I can resist everything, except temptation!
2007-09-28 03:39:53 · answer #1 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell your wife that she is putting you in a situation that is making you uncomfortable. Plus she is putting you in a position that could be potentially a he said she said situation. Even a Dr doesn't check out a female without another one there so that no one can say anything inappropriate happened. Is there a reason the visits are so late like does she work the 3-11 shift or something. If you can't talk to your wife about your feelings you are not going to be married long.
2007-09-28 03:54:53 · answer #2 · answered by Sheri F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty impressed that you would even ask advice about this. ALOT of men would take advantage of the moment, but obviously you are feeling a little guilty and don't like the feeling.
Just be honest with your wife and tell her that you feel uncomfortable being left alone with her friends while she is out. Tell her you love her and want her to be happy, but wish that she would understand what position this is putting you in. Obviously, she trusts you and though you are feeling a little discomfort by the situation, you are man enough to do something about it before anything happens. Good for you!!!!
Just be honest...if you have nothing to hide, everything will be okay.
2007-09-28 03:44:20 · answer #3 · answered by Gretta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the 4-1-1 of the situation:
She might be testing you to see if you will cheat on one of her friends.
Obviously she trusts you with her friends.
In fact, you might be just "one of the girls" to her and her friends.
You on the other hand it would appear do not trust yourself. You can make polite conversation with her friends until the others come home or you can simply excuse yourself to yur room and go to sleep.
If you are afraid the friend might slip in between the sheets with you while you sleep, you might want to put a lock on the door of your bedroom to keep out unwanted intruders.
Or you talk to your wife and have her set the evening so the movie begins at 8 or 9 and not 11.
Good luck. Perhaps in a few weeks you'll be posting on here telling us about the orgy you have been forced into.
Until then...;o)
2007-09-28 04:30:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you explain that 1:00 a.m. is not a reasonable time for people to be "hanging out" at your house, she would probably understand. Place her in your shoes and hypothetically ask her if she would appreciate you leaving a couple of your friends hanging around the house with her at 1:00 a.m.
To remove suspicion from yourself, you could also add that her friends make YOU feel uncomfortable. I don't think that should sound off any alarms in her head. It would be much worse if her friends told her that you make THEM feel uncomfortable.
2007-09-28 03:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by jdog006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go in your room and go to sleep and let your wife have her fun. Or ask her if once in a while she can do these parties at another friends house. If this happens every weekend tell her to stop.
Once in a while should not be too bad. At least she is not out with other men.
If you are attracted to her friends there is something wrong with the way you feel about your wife. No one else should make you feel like cheating.
2007-09-28 03:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell would she be grocery shopping for at that time of night? And if she is leaving for a while why are her friends still hangin around? That just sounds a bit strange to me. I'm not quite understanding everyone's intentions here. This is something I would discuss with your wife when they are not around. Just tell her that it is innappropriate for her to leave her friends over at that late of an hour. I'm sure you will think of something. Goodluck!
2007-09-28 03:38:34 · answer #7 · answered by justask23 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...are you lustful or capable of cheating? Maybe you should tell your wife you want to spend more alone time with her and less time with her friends. You could also go to the store with her. That way you will not be alone with her friends. This will remove temptation for you and suspicion for her.
2007-09-28 03:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by bittersweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you are uncomfortable with her friends hanging out while she goes out shopping and that it doesn't mean you are developing feelings for any of them, but you don't want to be put in a situation that could LOOK bad for you.
What if her and one of her friends gets into a tif and one decides to make up something to tick her off.......just need to make sure there is no way anyone can blame you of something you never did or never even thought of doing.
I had some really good friends that I always hung out with and he developed a crush on me and I had to stop being friends with them because I didn't feel the same way...they still ended up divorced and he tried to start something with me after but I flat out refused and told him I felt like he was my brother. Oh and that line absolutely crushed him.
2007-09-28 03:40:42 · answer #9 · answered by bull_ridin_chik 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe this sounds crazy but its a hunch.. maybe she is testing you by using her friends as bate...-girls can be crazy thinkers like that- but if i were you i would goto my bedroom w/ the door closed and leave the situation as is!
But if it really bothers you then I would tell her you don't want people there at all hours of the night when you are trying to sleep. I mean you are the man right!!!
2007-09-28 03:36:53 · answer #10 · answered by buttaflykiz05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋