i desperately need help......i m a mother of two kids,30 months n 13 months old,i find it difficult to cope up

Question

i have a cook n a cleaner,but still i cant cope up with the demands of motherhood,it is also straining my relationship wid my husband............my younger daughter is too clingy n doesnt leave me at all.....i feel i have no time for myself at all........this part of the world its difficult to get a nanny or a part time maid at home which wud have given me relief..........also me n my husband disagree wid the idea of leaving our small kids outside wid a babysitter.........i need help in making my small kid independent and less clingy......also help required in planning my time such tat i can spend some quality time wid my husband..................................please help.because of stress me n y husband r alwaz fighting n cursing each othr..........dono wat todo

Answer 1

Your oldest is likely clingy because she senses your high stress level and is panicky as a result. Children are very perceptive and tend to follow the cues of their parents. I really agree with the idea of taking parenting classes, reading helpful parenting books, etc. The more confident you feel in dealing with your children, the more you will calm down and be able to face the demands. Everyone gets stressed, educating yourself on how to deal with the demands( you can do it) will help a lot. Be confident and read some parenting books. You can do it.

Answer 2

Well, I'm 332 months, LOL. A 1 year old is "too clingy"... sounds like you need some clues about babies and parenting, not a babysitter. I'm guessing the problem is NOT that you don't have time for your husband. Rather, you can't find time for your usual morning spa, colonic and "meeting" with the pool boy. What part of the world ARE you from? You can find a cook and a cleaner, but not a nanny? Your husband doesn't want daycare because if you've got a cook and a cleaner, then you have no need for daycare. Your kids don't need a babysitter or a nanny... they need a MOTHER. Which is also why your husband is probably cursing you... he feels you are being selfish and an irresponsible parent.

If you need a break during the day, try establishing a consistent "nap time" for both kids (same time every day), or buy a large crib or playpen for them to keep them secure and occupied with toys and each other for a short period of time. They are siblings, they need that time to bond as well.

Answer 3

Hire a babysitter your self a couple of times a week and do something just for you. Even if is just to take a nice nap. Your daughter is just being a kid, nothing unusual about small children being clingy. That is natural. Being a parent is a 24/7 job. Your children won't be small for very long, you should cherish every moment of them. Especially if you don't have to work out side the home and you can be with them. Stop arguing with your husband. It takes two to fight, so just step out of the fight. Make peace in your home. Make a date night for you and your husband once a week at least. If you have relatives leave the kids with them for a few hours.

Answer 4

first off-i hope u r not from america b/c that spelling is out of wack. And hun-you shouldnt have had kids (especially that close together) if u cant handle it. Thats what motherhood is all about. You are the back bone for your kids-they need mom all the time, mostly when they are that little, They dont know any different, they just know they love their mommy and need you to be there for them. Put them to bed early every night-7or 8 pm and then u can spend that tiem with your husband. And another thing u may not have much time for yourself-neither do I but thats what being a mom is all about-your kids needs, its no longer about u. And also my husband works 50-60 hrs a week and a work 40 and I do all my house work and i manage just fine and have time for my man

Answer 5

You need help like a shoe needs a tongue.

Seriously, there is no shortage of illegal Mexican nannies to take your children to Taco Bell.

You need to stop spreading your legs for husband if the two of you are not willing to parent them.

If you don't want your kid to be clingy to you then cut your damn legs off!

Kids are going to be clingy and guess what? They're going to learn lots of things from you such as how to be lazy, illiterate and a whiner.

Remove your boob from your kids mouth and take them outside to play with.

Drop the cleaner and the cook and do it your self. What are you doing during the day anyway - watching tv or sleeping?

Answer 6

I am a mother of 3 children, ages 2, 2, and 4. My husband works all day and part into the night so we can make ends meet. I can not afford a cook or cleaner, I clean, cook, do the laundry, take out garbage, mow the lawn, gardening as well as spending time with my children, take them to school and clubs...very overwhelming at times....it is when they all go to sleep that me and my hubby have our time.
If your kids are not sleeping by themselves yet, this should be your first step. It may take several weeks even over a month of crying and fighting with them to stay in their own rooms by themselves, but it must be done. May even help with the seperation anxiety.
What are your issues with having a sitter? I would KILL for a sitter, I live in a mostly seniors town..ugh..and have been looking for a year now for one! ...ANYONE!!!!!geez.
no wonder your children have seperation anxiety. phew!

Answer 7

If you need some alone time, then make your husband watch the kids for a couple hours a week so you can get away and do your thing. Its not good to be around kids ALL the time and have no free time for yourself. We all need our time. Hopefully he will understand this. Good luck :)

Answer 8

Geee...I feel sorry for you...Have a cook and cleaner and still can't cope with being a mother? Lots of mothers would love to be in your shoes....have someone else to take care of the cooking and cleaning so they can devote the rest of their day caring for their children. You need parenting classes!

Answer 9

Yeah what ever, I have no pity for you. I am a mother of two daughters 5 years and 5 months and I have to cook and clean and I am in school part time.
Yet I still make time for hubby and myself.

Answer 10

I would say that you should sit down with your husband and explain that you desire to return to school. You're embarrased by your illiteracy and failure to even spell the most simple words in the English language like "with" and "that"...common words that even my 3 year old granddaughter can not only spell but annunciate perfectly.

Then perhaps it will help you in coping wid dis.

God help us.