EYE FOR AN EYE ..Was I right ?

Question

The love of my life decided to end our relationship after I did something which was totally unacceptable to her, in her book whatever I did was worse than adultery, but according to me it was an error. I pleaded with her for forgiveness to no avail , she humiliated me twice in front of all our friends, and I went through a very traumatic phase in my life after all this.After a while she wanted me back but I was in revenge mode (and I don't want to live the rest of my life with a women who left me over such a trivial issue..What If she would do the same in future ?)and gave her an eye for an eye and humiliated her in public.She suffered a Nervous breakdown and is today under Psychiatrist care. Does this make me a Coward, Bad person, Loser ,Wimp ?

First I didn't mean Eye for an Eye in the literal sense, I did not physically assault her or anything like that, but we did have a ugly verbal fight in public which completely shattered her self confidence.Mostly of you'll think I kinda suck, Barbara B's reply feels like a 100 , "Daisy Cutters " being dropped on my head. My ex has declared a Holy War against me and had cancelled our engagement ( we were never engaged in the first place) by putting a announcement in our local newspaper ,all her request for songs on the local Radio get aired for her friends with lyrics full of anger, betrayal, deceit, injustice all directed against me ...all my requests are totally IGNORED. She has a powerful godfather in the Mass Media industry, please don't tell me to seek legal counsel why feed lawyers over this small sh!tttttt.

Answer 1

honestly it sounds a little childish, but in the heat of the moment we don't think clearly.

I do revenge mode. I'm more subtle about it, but still it exists in even the smartest or most controlled individuals.

She is the weak one. Just because you put back in her face that which you'd been experiencing how would you know that she was mental?

That sounds cruel, but really, she is not altogether there, and you were not in any way the complete cause for her deterioration into mental instability. There's no way!!! She was insecure, which is why she kept berating you, so that was a sign in the beginning.

She should get over herself, to tell the truth, and you need to stop either blaming yourself, or feeling sorry for yourself, or feeling stupid about your actions. You did not do it.

Maybe this is her ultimate humiliation for you? To make you feel as though you broke her? She could be the bad person, loser and wimp, ever think of that?

Answer 2

It was probably a mistake to attempt "revenge", as you put it, as it just continued the tit-for-tat cycle of hurt that you've become stuck in with her.

So now you've both hurt each other - you gave the original offense (we don't know what it was, so I don't think we should attempt to judge), she reacted badly to that, you spurned her attempt to reconcile, and now perhaps she's trying to manipulate you a bit by her "nervous breakdown".

Where does that leave you now? You've made mistakes in this relationship - just as she has. You're both human. Where you go from here depends on how you solve this problem. If you can sit down together, with each person admitting their mistakes without blaming the other -- and you should go first -- and if you can sincerely resolve not to repeat the same mistakes again, then perhaps you have a chance at a better future together. If you can't do that, then maybe you should part in the best way possible.

Answer 3

Yes. It makes you all of that and more.

You showed really poor judgment and extremely immature behavior by humiliating your ex in public.

Now all your friends etc. know that you're not nearly the honorable man you wish you were.

Does that mean they hate you? Certainly no. BUT and you will see this later on - they will be hesitant to get as close to you in the future for fear of being the recipient of your childish ways.

Only time will mend this awful mess you've made.

In the future, refrain from trying to exact revenge. No matter how much you hurt.

Answer 4

totally depends on what youdid....did you hit her??this is the only thing i can think of that may fit your strange description of events.

She may have had mental health problems anyway, but if what you did was so bad as to drive a sane person to a breakdown on purpose then i would say yes you are quite wicked.

then again if what she did to you was very bad too, then you both need to look hard at yourselves, you are certainly not good for each other

Answer 5

I understand what you did and why you did it, but humiliation is hard for anyone to overcome, especially a woman. I think next time you should channel your anger a little bit better and instead of doing what you di, take it out in other ways.
I don't necessarily think it makes you a bad person, maybe you became an idiot for a minute but that's about it.

Answer 6

Sound like you messed her up bad revenge is a *****,but doing something like that does not make one a coward,bad person,loser,or a wimp so no need to go around feeling like a coward etc etc

Answer 7

Shame on you for that poor girls mental health. Funny how one person can cause some one else so much pain.

You should of taken the higher road...after all ...an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

Answer 8

From what I gather she brought it on herself but I would need to know more details. It really depends on how she humiliated you and how you retaliated

Answer 9

I think you both belong under a physicians care!!!

Answer 10

I will say that she deserved it, but I don't think you should have stooped to her level. I understand how you feltl, but I think you should have just walked away.