would you marry a man who was divorced twice and has 4 kids, w/ baggage , no money, no credit ?

Question

and is jealous, bossy ? i know a woman who is , and i told her
to leave him, because it is not healty, there is no future ! he
doesn't have sh! t .... well she will not listen... what do you
think ?

Answer 1

Hmmm... twice divorced = lack of commitment
4 kids= looking for someone else to care for them
baggage= unable to let go
no money= lazy
bad credit=lack of responsibility

HELL NO!!!

Answer 2

Boy, for a minute there I thought you were talking about my husband! When I met him he 4 kids-2 in IL (we live in WI) that were 17 & 21 and 2 young young ones full-time (ages 6 & 8). He had previously filed chapter 11 and had no money to speak of. Ohe yeah, he was just divorced from his 3rd wife! Well, he wasn't jealous, mean or bossy. He is my dream come true!! He is a hard worker who provides quite well and treats me like a queen! Maybe over the years he learned a thing or two (he is now 43 and I am wife #4). BTW I'm nearly 40 and have 5 sons (4 are adults) and he is hubby #3. Maybe age has something to do with us getting along so well. From what I hear I wouldn't have liked him hen he was younger.


Tell your friend that besides all the other "baggage" he has a bad atittude which doesn't sound like it will get any better. She's in for heartbreak and the poor kids will be left in the dust again

Answer 3

.
As I sit here reading your question and the answers that have already been given, I am astounded at the lack of compassion and understanding that some people display. Your question caught my eye because I am about to marry a woman very much like the man you describe. She is divorced twice, has four kids, no money and no credit. She is NOT bossy or jealous, but instead is sweet, kind, and understanding.

I'm sure that from the outside looking in, my impending marriage may look like a disaster waiting to happen, as many of your other answerers were quick to judge your friend and her man. But you, and all of these answerers don't know what these relationships are really like.

With all of the divorce that there is in the world today, it seems pretty harsh to judge someone as a bad person or a disaster just because it happened to them twice. Some people have very good reasons for the situation that they currently find themselves in, and those reasons often have nothing to do with being a bad person.

Without knowing a LOT more about their situation, it would be foolhardy to sit here and pass judgment on your friend and her man. WHY does he have no money and no credit? Could it be that he was married to a horrible b*tch who spent all of his money and ruined his credit? WHY is he jealous? Could it be that he was married to a woman (or women) who cheated on him, thus making him a little gun-shy? These things would not necessarily be his fault and it would be mean to judge him as a bad person because of them.

If your criteria for a good marriage include "having sh1t," then I guess this guy doesn't meet your criteria. But there are plenty of people in the world who don't have two nickels to rub together and manage to be very happy together.

My advice to you is that if this friend means anything to you, then you should let the subject drop. You've made your feelings known. If she is not going to change her plans based on your opinion, then you've done all you can do. If you are a true friend, she will want you to be behind her as she takes this next step, and will need your support IF this marriage falls apart.

To all of you other answerers, please don't be so quick to judge. Any one of us could have a quick, thumbnail description given of us that would make us sound like bad people. (Example: I have a very demanding job which I'm good at, and I have a group of high school friends that I've been playing poker with for over twenty years; once a month for nickels and dimes. A malicious person could say, "He spends long hours at work and gambles on weekends." Not a flattering description, but accurate in a very twisted way.) I would hope that people would know me better before they would say the horrible things about me that some of you have said about this guy.
.

Answer 4

It's not a question of what he has or doesn't. The question is if she is aware of that. IF she is and make her decision accordingly, then you can only wish her to be happy.
Not everybody thinks that children are baggage.
Not everyone thinks that lack of money is a disadvantage.
Would you have advised her the same if he were rich???
Well, the way I see it, if he hasn't hidden anything from her and they love each other, then their relationship has as many chance of success as any other with no " baggage".
And don't you call children baggage like that.
Do you have any?
If you didn't, and you terribly wanted some, believe me, you'd be happy to find another man's "baggage" to look after!

Answer 5

Don't worry she'll learn her lesson. I don't understand why straight girls are so dumb sometimes. They never seem to understand that if a man treated his other women like crap most likely he will treat the new one the same. If he doesn't pay child support for the kids he already has chances are he won't suppor the kids he has with the new chick. If he cheated on the other chicks he'll cheat on the new chick. Just like the old saying if you don't learn from the past you'll be bound to make the same mistakes again. The same holds true in the relationship game.

Answer 6

I don't think you should judge people by what they have or don't have as being a factor in deciding whether or not they could have a good future, you aren't able to foretell what is going to happen. Being divorced twice and having four kids is of course going to cause him to have baggage and not be able to have much money....and a lot of people have no credit. Maybe she loves him for him and not what he has!

Answer 7

couple need to be in love and willing to transform their lives. Its not a healthy situation to get into right now. Maybe the man needs to work all of his issues out prior to marrying. I suggest seeing a life planner... get some advice on how to tackle down situation by situation. Deal with his emotional problems first and then the financial. If your friend really truly loves him she should help him establish all of those things and then they can marry and have a wonderful life together.Remember every relationship needs work and providing the love is there can be resolved. Good luck to your friend!

Answer 8

They have a guaranteed ticket to disaster and they seem to be very immature. Just because of that nature they won’t listen so they will move on and eventually face the consequences of their immature actions. For some people the only way to learn that the fire burns is by placing the hand over the flame.

Answer 9

Boy, this is a Drama Queen's greatest fantasy! You'd have to deal with debt, ex-wives, stolen money, bad kids, the whole enchilada. Go for it girls!

Now you already know what a mistake this is. But you can't make her see the problem. She is drawn to this mess like flies to spilled sugar. More than likely this guy will wreck her life and leave her crushed, broke and pregnant. Ask her "Is that what you want?"

Answer 10

While it's possible they could really love each other and make things work in this new relationship, I have to say that his past does make it seem that he is somewhat of an irresponsible individual.

The best predictor of future behaviour, is past behaviour.

I don't think I would recommend for anyone I knew, to get involved with someone as you describe. It does not seem that this man is capable of living up to his responsiblities.

If your friend wants to marry him anyway, that is her choice ultimately and you cannot force her not to.

Hope this helps.