I met him when I was 27 & we got married when I was 29. I'm almost 35 now. We have a great relationship, I know he loves & cares for me. When I was 21 I was stupid & I got arrested for shoplifting. Im not even going to go into the circumstances b/c I knew it was wrong & there is no excuse. I feel so terrible about this. I feel like a horrible person. No one found out about it except the people i was with which I don't talk to anymore. My family doesn't know & my husband doesn't know. I want to tell him b/c It bothers me but I don't want him to know b/c I am so ashamed. I know God has forgiven me but I haven't forgiven myself & I feel like such a horrible person. What would you do?
2007-09-28 02:22:56 · 40 answers · asked by jon jon's girl 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If its bothering you, your heart is trying to tell you something. You have to listen to it. Tell him about. Tell him that you know it was wrong and you have already asked for forgiveness. Dont tell yourself (Like previous posts) that its not a big deal, to leave well enough alone. If you think its not a big thing then why not tell? He might be a little upset at first but I think it will be alright. And you will feel a million times better after you get it off your chest. Good Luck!
2007-09-28 03:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This was before you even knew the man so I would leave it as a stupid mistake in the past and let it go. But if it bothers you so much, pray about it. If it keeps bothering you, have a heart to heart. He should realize that at 21, a lot of stupid mistakes can be made. But there is nothing for him to forgive you for or anything because you did not do it to him or while you were together. Truth be known, there are probably things in his past that he doesn't want you to know either. Don't beat yourself up over this.
2007-09-28 02:29:49 · answer #2 · answered by Love being a Mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
forget it ! as you say , you did it when you were 21 and after 6 years u met him ,that means you met him after a long time he has got nothing to do with your past and 21 is still the age of doing mistakes but now you are 35 its almost 14 years .
but if you can let go then tell him in such a way . that he will understand that u were a child then don't forget to tell him that it was you first and last mistake and stay cool
2007-09-28 02:48:46 · answer #3 · answered by fun007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all do stupid things when we are young. Its part of growing up. Of course we know right from wrong, but a lot of times we don't listen to ourselves.
What you did happened a long time ago. Just tell your hubby about it so it makes you feel better. He wont look at you any differently for it because it was so long ago. More then likely he did something in his past that he hasnt filled you in on either.
For yourself, you know what you did was wrong. You said you know God has forgiven you, and if God has, then you can forgive yourself.
2007-09-28 03:37:08 · answer #4 · answered by You can do it!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you didn't run off with the Queen's jewels! Don't be so hard on yourself!
If it's eating away at you this badly, just tell him and I'll bet anything, that he won't take it as badly as you're imagining he will.
You were young and silly, it's in the past and because of one dumb mistake, it does not make you a horrible person.
You're letting this get way out of hand. Tell your hubby and move on....you'll feel better and I'm sure he won't judge you anywhere near as harshly as you're judging yourself. In fact, it most likely won't even be an issue.
That's my thoughts on it, anyhow. Calm down, take a deep breath and stop crucifying yourself for something that happened so long ago.
2007-09-28 03:00:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that bothered by it, you should tell him. You've been together long enough to know how much you've grown and changed. Heck, maybe its even something you can laugh about together!
My hubby found it funny when I told him I set up one of my ex bfs. He was cheating on me, I was workin at Kmart and he had told me a few days before that he wanted me to get some things for him from the store. Well, I did on someone elses credit card! And I sent him out the back door with the stereo and baseball cards. They snatched his butt up in a hurry, but they snatched me up too! I'd never do that again, I was young and dumb back then.
2007-09-28 02:38:29 · answer #6 · answered by teri is ambience 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its bothering you, tell him. I doubt he will get upset, why would he? I mean, you were 21 years old! Everyone makes mistakes.
I really don't see, though, why this is bothering you that badly. It doesn't make you a bad person, and it has nothing to do with your marriage. God has forgiven you, and you do need to forgive yourself. If you do decide to tell your husband, he will probably be a little surprised, but that's about it. Good Luck.
2007-09-28 02:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell him, its not a terrible thing that you did and Im sure he'll just laugh about it. You dont have to tell him but you obviously feel guilty about keeping it from him.
However, if he is the type of person who would feel betrayed and lied to because you kept it from him then I suggest you dont tell him. Its not important and if he's going to get angry with you then its not worth the trouble.
Only you know what your husband is like so I cant really say what you should do. Dont worry though, its not a bad bad thing you did, you were young and its something you should be able to laugh about now. good luck.
2007-09-28 02:30:23 · answer #8 · answered by eva m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know what? If you learned your lesson, and you do not continue to shoplift, than I don't see what the problem is. Anyone is capable of making a mistake. Don't beat yourself up over it. Know it is a lesson learned and you have become a better person because of it, and move on. As for telling your husband, if it will make you feel better to tell him, than do it. I doubt he'll hold it against you, that was long ago.
2007-09-28 02:29:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, it doesn't sound like you have forgiven yourself to me...Im sure your husband will probably laugh about it really...if all you did was shoplift, that's not very bad and you have already paid the price for it.
Give your man the opportunity to make you feel better about it...you obviously want to tell him, so preface the coversation correctly and keep it light and drama free and tell him the truth...
Husbands are supposed to strong for their wives to lean on when they feel bad or need strength and this is a situation where you need that strength.
Go to him...it will make you feel better.
Also forgive yourself and move on...
2007-09-28 02:30:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋