How would you deal with this situation?

Question

I'm shy & was placed in different classes than ALL of my friends, including my closest: Val. My other friends are together. I was able to make friends with this girl, Lu. Lu has been at my school for years but this is the first time we've ever had classes with her.

Now, out of the blue, Val is aggressively pursuing my new friend Lu. Val has never been interested in a friendship with Lu until *I* became friends with her.

Val has a ton of other friends but Val runs up to Lu like they're long lost best friends & Val barely notices me. Val announced that she invited Lu to her house. Val tries to sit next to Lu on the bus so I can't. I feel like Val is trying to compete w/ me for this other girl's friendship. Val can't stand to see me have a friend NOT connected to her. What would you do in this situation?

Answer 1

Let your new friend Lu decide what she wants to do......don't be too possessive like Val, as Lu could see it in Val if she is smart enough. You should not put yourself in the same level as your jealous friend.

Answer 2

I've actually been in a situation like this before, where I had a friend who didn't want me to have other friends. She was my best friend at the time, too.

I think you have three options:

1. You can talk to her about it. Tell her you really don't appreciate the way she's acting, that you feel like she's trying to take your new friend away. This might end up with you and Val not being friends anymore.

2. You can start ignoring Val. This isn't really affective.

3. You can let Val do this. This is the worst option ever, but still an option.

I recommend the first one. That way she knows she's making you upset, and if she's really your friend, she'll stop. If she doesn't stop, then maybe you need to consider not counting her as a friend anymore. Friends aren't supposed to tell you who you may and may not associate with. Don't be scared or shy or humble about it, a healthy dose of anger is what you need. Remember, this isn't your fault, you're allowed to make new friends. Friendship isn't a competition, it's a gift.

Answer 3

Why don't you try making friends with Val too? This probably seems like it might be a hard thing to do. Try to incorporate both Val and Lu Lu into your circle of friends. That would be the best thing to prevent any jealousy, or competitiveness. Be nice to Val, ask her to do things with you, or with you and Lu. When you see Lu and Val together, go up to them or join them, and talk with them both. You will soon find you have made two new friends.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

if i were in ur position, i wouldnt mind at all... if val wants to be friends w/ Lu, then it's ok... after all, they are not the only ppol in ur class who can be ur friends ryt?Ü

if u and Lu have made a bond...then there wouldnt be any problem at all..friendship is not about how long u stay together or if u guys hang out much...it's about how u guys are connected.. :)
about vaL, well...u talk 2 her and tell her how u feel..if she's a real friend, then she'll stop and have a second thought about everything..

gudluck! ^_~

Answer 5

just tell val how you feel or invite lu lu to your house an to do fun things with you an eventually val will get tired of askin lulu to do things when lu lu says no she has plans with you .

Answer 6

This is petty schoolchild stuff. When you reflect back on this situation ten years from now you'll realize that who is friends with whom really doesn't matter and this wasn't worth worrying about.
Friends are made to share, but Val seems to have control issues so you might want to distance her a bit.

Answer 7

Power play. Your "pal Val" is a coniving, underhanded, two faced part of a females anatomy that rhymes with one's mother's sister.

You have to head her off and disfuse anything she may be trying to do. Grow some brass ovaries my dear. can't let yourself be down trodden all your life. Get some courage up and keep your friend close.

Answer 8

your friend val really wants to be included and she must not really notice that you are feeling left out just talk to her and tell her how you feel if she is a true friend she will understand and change her actions if she doesn't give a little bit then she isn't worth it . just tell her how you feel trust me it works

Answer 9

Just let her go and ignore it. In the long run, Lu is gonna see who's honnestly interested in the friendship. Stay true to yourself and especialy don't join her childish games ;)

Answer 10

speak with Val privately and see if all 3 can be friends and reassure her that you still love her...i met alot of new friends in hi school thru my best friend...it was great..