My Husband is cheating on me!?

Question

Well he might as well be! I'm a newlywed not even a year yet and my husband is completely addicted to World of Warcraft! I practically have to beg him to spend time with me. Today he didn't come to bed until 6:30in the morning!!! So not even an hour ago! He played the game for 11 hours straight! He got home from work around 7pm. I've talked to him about his playing habits before and it seemed to get better after our talk but about a month after he goes right back to his playing habbits! I'm tired of this and I'm tired of having to beg for his attention! I'm very tempted to just give him an ultimatum: the game or me. Please give me some advice on what I should do. Any questions please message me!

Answer 1

Would you really want to end your marriage over a video game? I'm 43, been married twice, and here is what I've learned. There are some things that are not worth fighting over... You have the next however many years to spend together. Things usually happen in phases, so he will be moving on to new things, (try to occupy yourself with things that interest you, while he acts immature, eventually he will grow up), fighting about it will only make him want to do it more, (because let's face it, men are nothing more than overgrown boys that have to have their toys). And it could be worse,(going to strip clubs, chatting with other females on the internet, ect.) Be glad it's just a stupid game that claims his attention. If all else fells, play with him.

Answer 2

Wow, so this is real?? I have heard all the urban legends about people losing jobs and family's but never believed it. I play WoW my self as does my wife and 8 year old (although much less thean us obviously). We do not have a problem with the amount we play or a lack of affection (at least not due to playing). It is a game and real life take precidence. In fact, I would stop playing in a heart beat if my wife gave any kind of an indication that she was in the mood. Sounds like your husband has an addictive personality. If it wasn't WoW, it would be something else. Perhaps giving him a "new addiction", like you, would be an option. Of course, you may get a little tired of that as well. I think if this is the way things are then an ultimatum may be the only choice. DO not make it a me or the game type thing. Try something like time limits. Maybe "if you play more than 2-3 hours a day (maybe a litle more on the weekends assuming all the RL stuff is done), then I will move out and give you all the time you want to play". If he chooses the game over you, he is not worth it anyway. BTW, that is about what my wife and I do, maybe 2-3 hours a day. We don't always play if there are RL things to do and will almost always have something going while playing (laundry, dishwasher running, something). Best of luck.

Answer 3

When he finally passes out from lack of sleep, trash the game. Do a search for the program, and when you find the files, open them in notepad, where they will appear as a text file. Then delete certain random sections of the text and re-save it as the same file name. This may make it run erratically or messed up or not at all. If it doesn't, the next time he passes out, go in and delete more to the text files, entires lines or blocks of text, until the day comes when the program will cease to function. If he reinstalls it, keep doing it, every time he passes out. You just have to make the program work so badly he gets sick of it, but you do not want to delete the whole thing because that would be obvious; all you want to do is to cripple it.

Answer 4

Well...I like video games too but 11 hours straight is somewhat unacceptable.

There isn't any real solution. Giving an ultimatium isn't wise nor is smashing the computer or breaking the disc/cartridge that the game is on. You've been doing fine talking with him and you've even said it helps. So keep the line of communication open.
Tell im that you haven't any problems with his game playing...just that he needs to break away and attend to other needs and things. Remind him that there is a 'save' function to the game. Use it occasionally.

Answer 5

Marriage life is not totally a bed of roses. There bound to be thorns in every marriage. I guess cheating on you for a game is much better than cheating on you for some women. Maybe the feelings are the same but the latter is much for extreme. You wouldn't want to feel it. Give him sometimes to get over playing his games. The time will come for him to stop. Who knows, once you're pregnant, his focus will change. For now, you have to bear with it or play along with him. Better still, beat him in every round so that he gets fed-up. :D

Answer 6

Please ask him to see a doctor with you. Not a councilor, or a psychologist, but a real doctor. Your husband has an addition problem. This is a warning sign, and you should actually feel lucky that it is only a video game. Addiction syndrome is very real, and if you "force" him to quit his current addiction, this syndrome could very well express itself in addictive gambling or even drugs.

Doctors can help with this. Don't be forceful. In extreme cases you may have to replace one addiction with another, like a benign hobby, but you will still have to understand that this may be something that he will have all his life, or he may grow out of it eventually. Don't give up on him yet!!

Answer 7

Sit him down and talk about limits on the game. If you take it away completely he will be very resentful. Men like their toys but he should put a priority on spending time with you so you don't feel neglected.

Next time he is deeply involved with the game strut around in a skimpy outfit and grab his attention. You can have some fun steeling him back.

Answer 8

i thought i was the only woman who had this problem.. it's pretty bad that we as women have to be made to feel second rate to a damn computer game!!! mine is a pogo freak and we have had countless arguments about it..! i try to just let it be most of the time because he just gets resentful if i nag..! sounds like yours does what mine does and lays off the game for a while then goes right back to playing constantly!! i have noticed that the more i complain the worse it is! does he chat with other players on wow? i put a halt to that on pogo... no friends list or female friends!!! it's sad that the internet that is so damaging to american marriage!! double edged sword for sure!! good luck!

Answer 9

Be very careful. You may have to venture into his "mommy" zone.

When he was a kid, his mommy told him when to shut off the toy and do his homework. She may have had to nag him or even holler and threaten, but she set limits and he obeyed them.

Now, he's a grown-up and in the absence of an authority figure to tell him when to stop, he's indulging his selfish side and he plays as long as he wants.

Beware-- Once you assume the role of "mommy" you may never be allowed to go back..

Video gaming Can be an addiction, meaning that the addict must decide for himself to let go.

Answer 10

On one hand, I'd rather have my hubby playing video games than habiting strip joints or cheating BUT this sounds definitely like an addiction. I wouldn't give him an ultimatum, but I'd definitely make him uncomfortable! So....just between us girls, did you ever think of maybe when you're doing housecleaning that somehow, someway, that game system gets a mop bucket full of sudsy water dumped on it? Or maybe while dusting, something fell over on it?....sometimes ya gotta be sneaky about these things......