i love someone who is married,but he is seeking divorce from her wife,but he wants me to live with him since according to him it will take a long time to settle the case in indian courts,what should i do,my parents r not ready for this,he is ready to marry me once he get a divorce,his wife is not living with him from last 6 years,he has been a faithful lover ,we have been in relationship from last one year but we reside in diff. cities in india ,but now he can no longer be away from me and wants me to stay with him.my parents dont want me to marry him,his family has accepted me,and he has said that if i dont want to come to him i should leave him,i am really in a fix since i genuinly love him and want to marry him ,i dont want to leave him,i dont know what to do,plzzzzzz someone help me,he has told me that he will never leave me
2007-09-28 01:17:41 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HEARD THAT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-09-28 01:20:53 · answer #1 · answered by mommy2be 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean this to hurt you, but YOU ARE BEING TAKEN FOR A RIDE BY THIS MAN! This is the oldest story in the book. If he CLAIMS that he is going to end things with his wife, then let him do that first! That is why your family doesn't agree. Everybody that cares about you does not want to see you get played and hurt. And how can you say that he is a "faithful lover"? If he is cheating on his wife with you? Do you honestly believe that he hasn't, or won't when he's with you? Let me guess, he's told you how horrible his wife is, and how you're the one he loves right? I bet his wife or other gf would have a different story for you! Also, for him to try to force you to do what he wants, and not consider your feelings, makes him a manipulator! So, why would you trust a manipulator and a cheater?
This will not end well for you if you stay with this person.
2007-10-06 00:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by MoonGoddess 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on your age, I don't think your parents have any right to tell you who you should be with. As long as he is a decent caring man who will treat you with respect and love that you deserve.
As far as the divorce goes though, I would be very skeptical about dating a married man. No matter if they have not been living together or not. 6 yrs is a long time to not have gotten a divorce yet, so I would not jump into anything yet. There are plenty of women out there who date married or seperated men, believe them, and eventually have their hearts broken. Think about your happiness first.
2007-09-28 08:24:03 · answer #3 · answered by swtme810 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's had six yrs. to get a divorce and hasn't got one yet ,then I'd be afraid that he may never get one ! especially if you move in with him now ! wait until he is divorced for sure ! that way he doesn't put off getting a divorce !! If you move in with him he could put off getting a divorce !! If you don't move in with him then he will hurry up and get a divorce If he really wants you to move in with him !! That way your making sure he gets a divorce first ! You don't want to live with a man that is legally tied to another woman!!! His wife would have more rights to him then you, she could even have a right to his bank account , his home, his car, cause there still married!! the court has to decide who gets what in a divorce ! They may even still have contact and you never know until you move in and then all the truth comes out ! you don't know what you could be in for !! It's best to tell him he has to get a divorce first then you'll move in with him!! So he doesn't belong to her anymore !!
2007-10-05 23:38:04 · answer #4 · answered by monkeymomma46 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't live with him until he is married. IF he really loves you, he will rush the divorce. Do you know how many men actually end up marrying women in your situation? Like next to none. They mess around with you, but never really leave their wife.
2007-09-28 08:23:09 · answer #5 · answered by NY Buzz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No matter what anyone tells you, you are going to do what you want, and not what you are being told to do. But if it was me on that situation, If he loves you like he says he does, he will not pressure you into something that is going to put your family against you. Instead, he would push for things to be done properly in a timely manner.
Just remember, that everything we do in life, good or bad it always comes back, and sometimes it bites us in the a$$.
Good luck to you with your decision.
2007-10-04 15:10:43 · answer #6 · answered by Chulis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl respect yourself don't do that because only you will get hurt. This man is just playing you, he presents you his family because he wants you around and safe when he need to get laid but his family loves him so much that they don't say nothing to them or he is lying his family about you and he says he is seeking divorce from her wife but the truth he is not. I have been in that kind of situation.
2007-09-28 08:35:25 · answer #7 · answered by Charmed_Lady 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he would divorce his current wife if you were NOT going to come to him.
If not, then you have to ask yourself if he would cheat on YOU too.
If so, you know that their marriage was already doomed.
Would this mean going to live in India? Do you have any idea for how long? Would you enjoy living in India for awhile? Would he then move to where you currently are?
2007-09-28 08:23:01 · answer #8 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, they usually say that! Ive even said it a time or to, But the reality is, things change, circumstances change, causing feelings to change. If u love him, and he loves u, he will wait for u! Tell him u want his divorce to be final first. If he respects u, and in his heart knowing your decision is morally sain, he shall be patient. Good Luck
2007-09-28 08:24:04 · answer #9 · answered by Capricorn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummm,why would you want to marry someone who is still married..He should have gotten a divorce before he started a relationship with someone else..Don't be naive, if he done it to his wife he will do it to you also..Once a cheater always a cheater!!
2007-10-05 13:03:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
what is it with married men, why can't women find their own men instead of taking someone elses, you may as well wait for him since he decided to cheat and instead of getting the divorce FIRST, and i take it you already knew about his wife and didnt care, wow
2007-09-28 08:23:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋