Me and my b/f of 3 years split up a couple of months ago! We wern't happy! We'd been ttc for 18 months and nothing! We both went our seperate ways - and we hated it! We realised how special we were to each other and noone else comes close! We are back together! And very much in love!!!!! Just one little problem - this girl he had sex with is pregnant! He's seen the test! She was having an abortion until he told her we were back together!! ITS KILLING ME!!!! i love him dearly and have said i will support him what ever happens! He wants nothing to do with her or the baby! We have completely cut ourselves off from her and hope she does the right thing!
I am due on today, and took a test this morning! NEGATIVE! Its hurting that she has had this with him, but i can't!!!! How do i get though it?? How can i stop thinking about him in her???
2007-09-28 00:29:22 · 11 answers · asked by jenny w 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
he wants to have nothing to do with his own child?? and you seriously support that??? thats unbelievable. the ex might have made the choice to have the baby for the wrong reasons but its not the babys fault. you and your boyfriend should realize that! the baby didn ask to be "made"
2007-09-28 00:54:41 · answer #1 · answered by kc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen you have your man, she hasn't, it is wrong for him to say that he doesn't want anything to do with the child, if his ex does have the child then there will be involvement. You want to become pregnant, why?.. Have you thought hard about your relationship with him, if you love him, is it enough for you to get pregnant, just because he has got someone else pregnant! You both have to be ready for this it is a big commitment.. You both under a lot of stress due to the fact that his ex is pregnant, and by you getting pregnant so quickly it is just going to add more stress. First see how the situation is going to be with his ex. You need to feel relaxed in your relationship, right now you are not, i seriously think you should wait for a while. You have to start to trust your boyfriend, and talk to him and tell him how you feel, i am sure if he loves you, he will give you the support you need. Don't worry too much, remember he is with you. Good luck
2007-09-28 07:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by Ruksana P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well stressing not going to help you get pregnant and in reality getting pregnant because she did is not a good reason. If she chooses to keep the baby, he can not cut off all ties. It is responsibility if after the DNA test proves he is the father. Both of you need to talk and make a game plan and stick to it, use logic and not hurt feelings. This is going to make or break this relationship and if you can work together on this, it will help build your relationship stronger. You will have to just make your self stop dwelling on this and focus on your relationship with him now. It is hard but if you love him, you have to move past this. I wish I had a set answer to tell you how to get thru this, but after all the tears, hate, being mad and blaming it will still be the way it is. Maybe you should go to counseling and work through your feelings about this,
2007-09-28 07:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by ONLY 1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard one,and must be really differcult for you. You and him love each other and that is great. But one little problem. She is pregnant and he is the one who made her that way. So he was good enough to get her pregnant,yet he won't accept that it is his responsiblity to acknowledge what he did. She didn't get pregnant on her own. I am sure he enjoyed the sex that helped to create this little "problem".
I am sorry but I think he should not be shutting his resposiblities off. He doesn't have to be with her. But that baby has rights too!! That is not to say that you and him couldn't make it work with each other. But the baby is not something that he should be shutting off as if it didn't happen. One day you will probably want children. And I am sure you wouldn't want your unborn child ignored by the person who helped you create it.
She should not have to do the "right thing". The right thing is what she believes it to be. Finding out she was pregnant and on her own must have been a shock for her.Which may have been why she considerd the abortion. But her natural instinct would have told her, she can't kill her own unborn baby. And why should she have to. I am not saying that she was wise to not take precautions about getting pregnant in the first place. But hey, it takes two. And in this case, it was her and him. He can't shut that out.
It must be really hard on you. And you are right in the middle of it. But if you both really love each other,you can still make it work. But that doesn't mean he has to shut the baby out that he helped to make.
Best wishes and you can get through it-whatever happens!!
Don't think about him and her. That happened and you can't change that. See what you can do about you and him still being able to work it out, if that is what you both want. But the unborn child should not be penalised because of his and her mistake.
2007-09-28 07:57:59 · answer #4 · answered by Forgetmenotshell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you cant. If he made her pregnant and wants nothing to do with her, what does that tell you? I'll tel you what....irresponsible! And you want a bun in the oven as well!!?? Your elation and happiness has taken your feet off the earth. You fly in a myopic cloud where you can only fall from. what if he wants nothing from you after sowing yet more wild oats. Thank your lucky stars the salmon has not been swimming upstream yet.
you are mistaking putting all the blame on the ex girlfriend when its clearly only half her fault. She is not an evil person, the poor devil must be going thru hormonal changes like you could never imagine. She needs help and support....not a cold door in her face.
Oh,, we love each other so f*** the rest of the world. selfish b*tch
2007-09-28 07:46:48 · answer #5 · answered by mybeach 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at the difference you've got the love of your life back , so look to the future and give it time , I'm sure then you both will be at ease and make things less stressful on you both , even if the other lady decides to keep her baby your partner will have to wise up to his Fatherhood this will be hard on you both but will also be a big step forward in your relationship and if you can get over that your relationship will blosom and you will be more at ease starting a family yourself..
2007-09-28 07:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by lettski 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's responsible for the creation of another child and 'wants nothing to do with it" and you hope this female 'does the right thing'.
Not only have you no morals...you seem to be lacking in character and brains. What the heck is the matter with you? Think he'll be a good parent? Especially after wanting to forfiet and acknowledge the existence of a child of his own?
Your whole outlook on this thing is so twisted, so bizzare and so selfish that its almost criminal.
You're all losers and will no doubt always be with an outlook on life like yours.
2007-09-28 07:35:38 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Firstly don't try and get pregnant just because she is. Secondly I am surprised that your bf doesn't want anything to do with his own flesh and blood! Do you really want to be with a man like that?
It is hard to get over it. I went through a similar thing when I was young. If he loves you he will stay with you and you can make his child a part of your lives too.
2007-09-28 07:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by ¸.•*´`*♥Kates ♥ Game11 ¸.•*´`*♥ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to be with a man who refuses to take responsibility for his actions? No matter if you consider her reasons good or bad, he's the father of that baby. You wanting to get pregnant just because she is, well, very immature. Remember that you two had broken up when he had sex with her. If you can't forget about it your relationship with him will never be a good one,. Good luck to you.
2007-09-28 08:40:24 · answer #9 · answered by Lacy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This will be a big test for you, it will rear its head every time you have a minor row, you will throw it at your b/f every time he upsets you, other people will remind you, and if it eventually seperates you, people will be queing to say I told you so, two choices, accept it or leave! Harsh but true.
2007-09-28 07:49:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋