2007-09-27 21:09:43 · 5 answers · asked by mafraqnavsari 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The bank is closed!
Be resolute: tell whichever member of your family that you're no longer prepared to be their personal bank. You might ask for the sum back (if you think you'll get it.) - perhaps it's time to call in your debt - IT'S CERTAINLY TIME TO CALL A HALT!
Guilt is an impressive social tool - it's easy to make someone feel a sense of guilt, then manipulate their need to make amends - it's selfish and immature. Unfortunately, it's also immature to fall for it.
You have fortunately spotted the trend - they will keep asking... It is for you to be as selfish as they are - say you want to buy something nice for yourself. (whether you do actually buy something or save the money is up to you. Remember, it's YOUR money - YOU earned it and YOU deserve the right to spend it as you see fit. If you fail to stop this NOW, it will appear that you are happy with the situation.
You deserve better.
2007-09-27 21:43:18 · answer #1 · answered by cornflake#1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you can do, is try to encourage them to get work for themselves, & provide for themselves. You might start by sharing the following series of articles with them (available to print out), and supporting any efforts they make in that direction.
It is a very sad fact that some people are truelly not capable of mature judgement. These ones are often judged as lazy, when they actually have unrecognized brain damage, often from before birth. Such ones often develop the 'skills' of manipulation (called secondary symptoms), because they really aren't capable of much else... You might want to have them properly tested, before making any decisions to cut them off, financially or otherwise... This type of disability --oddly enough-- very often does NOT affect the person's intellect &/or appearance, but just their judgement & emotional developement. They aren't capable of honest, caring relationships, becaus they truly don't have depth of understanding, or, empathy. Nor are they capable of standing back & looking at the affect that their actions have on others. These are all things that are handled by a properly matured & functioning brain, which they don't possess...
It is very sad, & yet a relief to know that such ones truly Don't hate you, after all! (I speak from personal experience.)
(Links to the info regarding this disabiity will have to be emailed to you.)
EDITED : (The links are repaired.)
2007-09-27 23:58:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Tough love. You just have to put your foot down and say no. Unless it's for some kind of emergency or something... and why don't they have money? If they're seriously struggling and are doing everything they can, help them. If they're careless and waste a lot, tell them to get their own money. It depends how much money you have, too.
2) Lie and say you don't have any.
3) Move far away and give them the wrong number and address.
4) Go broke. You can't give them money if you don't have any.
XD ... I hope that helps!
2007-09-27 21:48:06 · answer #3 · answered by Jinton 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh god.. i should show the answers to my hubby too. he is constantly being emotionally blackmailed by his parents for money though they have enough and then they enjoy trips to canada, india and what not.. we are constantly compromising for little things at home due to financial crisis. hope my hubby learns something. he feels its his duty to compromise and give them money. but i am sacrificed for his duties.the only thing you can do is be firm and stop the money flow. why get emotionally blackmailed.
2007-09-27 21:49:47 · answer #4 · answered by sweetu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to say no and tell them it's all about you you you you you.
2007-09-27 21:18:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋