What is your funniest hunting story?

Answer 1

I teach Hunter Safety for Colorado. I had a guy from New York come to my class in Colo. and he still had the Bronks accent. A real funny guy and I liked him enough to offer to take him elk hunting. He had always dreamed of hunting elk and he took me up on my offer immediately. We were out on our first day and with Ed having an (any sex) tag I let him go in front. Sure enough up jumps a nice big cow elk and Ed lays a barrage of gunfire down on her. One of the shots connected and she did a double flip in the air and landed in some rocks on her back. All four feet up in the air in the classic "dead elk" position. Ed dropped his rifle and whooping he ran to the tail end of the elk and whipped out his foot and half long hunting sword (a beginners hunting knife) and takes the first cut right between the legs. (that part of the field dressing your big game carcuss he remembered) But the part he forgot (and I know I taught it) was to make sure your animal was dead. And Ed's elk was not.
The rocks that the elk landed in were close to the edge of the bank of a lake. And when Ed jabbed the unconcious elk in it's sensitive part it reacted with a jerk of the hind legs and Ed's shoulders were pressing down on those legs at the time. He went head over heels down the bank and kersplash into the lake. I was laughing so hard that I dropped my rifle and almost fell off the bank myself. Luckily the elk was still stuck between two large rocks and couldn't get away so I yelled to Ed to get out of the water and get back up here and finish off your elk. He dragged himself out muddy and spitting and cursing and let loose a paragraph or two of some of the finest cuss words I have ever been a priviledge to hear. And then as I handed him his rifle he said, "You shoot the &$#$%&y thing, I never want to look another elk in the A $$ again.
He was quite a guy, Ed was.
Sarge

Answer 2

Me my brother and a cousin were deer hunting. There was a 40 acre stand of thick woods by a wheat field that deer frequented. The path the deer commonly took from the large forest in the area to get to the small 40 acre wood lot brought them directly through a mesquite patch about 300 yards wide. I took a path that lead up and into the middle of the mesquite from the large forest. I sent them around the wheat field and into the back side of the small wood lot to cover where they commonly come out to feed in the wheat field. After a few hours and several small bucks and does the sun got low and it was becoming difficult to see. I saw my brother and cousin exit the small wood lot heading directly towards me about 150 yards away. I thought that was the end of the day and laid my rifle up against a mesquite and commenced taking a leak. While doing so I glanced up and could see that they had closed to about 50 yards away so I held up my "free" hand and said "HEY". Instantly I noticed 2 bucks between them and me, jerk their heads up and notice me. One was easily the biggest non-typical I had ever seen. And as the bucks quickly realized they were stuck between us they jumped and begin to circle around me less than 20 yards away. There I was stuck with the wrong gun in my hand, midstream. I leaped and grabbed my gun, bringing it to my shoulder and chambered a round. I drew a bead on the big guy and almost squeezed off the shot but couldnt bring myself to do it. Just too dark and to little light and he was moving too fast to be sure of a clean kill even at that distance. I watched him glide off into the woods, cursing myself and the fact that i just took a leak on my right pants leg. I spent a lot of time trying to get another shot on that deer, but I never did see him again.

Answer 3

My buddy had invited his girl friend to come with us deer hunting. About 9am I got out of the stand and went back to camp,not having seen anything.
I got my shotgun and proceeded down to a tank (pond) where I had seen quail the day before. The seasons run concurrently.
Pretty soon my bud and his girl showed up, so I pretty much gave up on hunting and started talking to them.
My friend was telling his girl about the nest of rattle snakes he had found under these nearby rocks a few years earlier.
In Texas the morning hunt can start at 32 f and by 10:00 am it can be pushing 70 deg. This was that kind of day.
The rattlesnake talk and warm temp made me start looking around for snakes that may have come out to sun themselves.
I took a step backward and almost stepped on a 12 pt Buck!
It was bedded down under some mesquites. All I saw was antlers and white tail as he thundered up and over a fence, and up a hill.
We were all so startled, we started to laugh.
Alas , that was the best buck we saw all season.....and I nearly stepped on it!..........lol

Answer 4

it incredibly is a looking tall tale. a guy had an previous mule that had a sore in its lower back. He desperate to set it loose to rejoice with a paintings loose previous couple of years of its existence. some years later while the guy is looking in a woodland he sees a shifting tree and is going to check out. He discovers that it is his mule with an apple tree and an o.ok.tree becoming out of his previous mules lower back. he's taking the mule living house understanding that his mule possibly won't die when you consider that he hasn't died with the aid of now. He then whittles the o.ok.tree right into a saddle because of the fact he likes to experience in the colour and consume apples.

Answer 5

Well, it's not really _mine_ - it's from the movie "Hoffa." Jimmy Hoffa and a bunch of his union sellouts are on a hunt. He and his Mafia patron are talking about how to rake off money from the workers' pension funds. They all have these great rifles, but they're standing around in a clearing, more interested in the figures scrawled on the back of a hunting license (they couldn't find any other paper) and working out percentages. This deer walks up near them and just stands there, staring at them. The DeVito character stares at the deer that's only ten feet away, looks over at his fellow hunters, all carrying rifles but ignoring the game... and finally pulls out a handgun, and with a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, takes the deer. I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants!

Answer 6

This happened last weekend. Guy buys new Chev 2500 4X4 diesel. Wakes up , he and his buddy's are getting ready, starts truck to warm it up, closes door, door locks. No cell phone service, walks to top of mountain, calls on star, they can't get a fix on his truck. He had to walk to a ranger station, call wife, took her almost 3 hours to bring him keys. All the guns were locked in the truck and they didn't get a thing on top of it all.

Answer 7

A true story that's a little gross. A buddy and I were deer hunting one cold morning. We decided regroup around 10:00. On my way back, I had to pass his stand and I didn't see him. He was taking a dump behind a tree. He came out zipping up his orange coveralls, and than flipped his hood back up over his head. All I hear is "Aaaawwww @#%&, YUCK!!!, @$%#."

He had taken a dump right in his hood and then flipped his hood up and it went all over his head. I made him ride in the back of the truck on a 25 degree day. Good thing we only had to go about 2 miles back to camp.

Answer 8

Dad and I took Thanksgiving Day Hunts when I was a boy. Once, we heard someone screaming for help. We rushed to see what was afoot. It was an old man we knew named Doug who had fallen and broken his ankle. We helped him to a road, and I stayed with him while Dad went to call an ambulance. I had fooled around some with his daughter Susanne. Dad told everyone, "Garrett and I took our usual Thansksgiving hunt, but all we found was his father-in-law!"

Answer 9

My grandfather, whom we all call papa, doesn't have any grandsons or sons, only girls. So each of us has at one time or another gone hunting with him. One year I saw a partridge, I like to eat them, so I figured I would shoot one myself, since papa was behind his pick up getting his stuff togeather. I reached in, not knowing instead of taking the bird and girl friendly 22, I grabbed his shot gun, and proceeded to blow the bird away. I got one hell of a kick and no partridge. My papa was so upset! We both learned a lesson, his was not to leave loaded shot guns on the rack and me, well, to watch what I was doing.

Answer 10

my buddy and i were hunting on a farm, me with bow and him with flintlock. i was on my way to a fixed treestand when i saw a nice buck feeding in a field. i got to within 10 yards from the edge and used my grunt tube. the buck was on his way. i nocked an arrow but the buck turned and was coming in behind some thick stuff. there was only one shooting lane, a little window, really, of about 3 ft X 3 ft in the brush. i let loose and the buck "jumped the string". my arrow glanced off his rack as he spun and ran back to the field.

i grunted again and he stopped in his tracks. after a little more grunting he was on his way back to me. he was still behind some thick stuff and turned his head and was looking behind me. "Great!" i thought. deer coming in behind me. i slowly looked back and it was my buddy.

i whispered, "shoot".
he said, "where?"
i said, "in the chest."
he said, "shoot what in the chest?"

in the meantime the buck is looking back and forth at us as each of us spoke.

i got a little louder, "the f'n buck"
he said, "where?"
i yelled and pointed, "right f'n there!!"

the buck at this point had had enough and turned. my buddy fired and missed. the buck took off and i grunted. he again stopped. i told my buddy to reload. it seemed to take him forever. "BOOOM!". the buck ran and i grunted. he again stopped. he missed again. i yelled reload....a little faster this time. he just poured powder down the muzzle without measuring. i said for him to take his time and kill this buck once and for all.

BOOOOOOOM!

my camo shirt rippled from the concussion of the blast. i heard the ball strike a tree about 250 yards across the field.

th buck survived my miss with an arrow and my buddy's 3 misses with a flintlock. he must have been part cat.