Ever since my son was 4 mo. old my husband and I noticed her hands always on his crotch and said something many times. My son is 4 yrs old now and recently has come foward that his grandmom touches him down there. My son recently started pre-k and has been acting out severely in school. He has been hitting, biting, spitting, breaking things, talking back excessively as well as he is fully potty trained but will pee on his br floor or in his bed, he has a decrease in appetite, always wants one of us to sleep with him, afraid of the dark, and has even touched my husband and I there and has been asking that others touch him there. I am stuck between a rock and hard place because this is my adopted mother that is supposedly doing this and I have done nothing but love and be there for my son and go to college to be a teacher and graduating this spring. I also overheard her talking to him in br and not cool. What do I do? This is my mom and yet it is my job to protect my son.
2007-09-27 19:38:18 · 27 answers · asked by chris a 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
It may sound horrible but your first responseablity is your son!!! Keep him out of that situation. If he reports it at school they may hold you partially responsable because you have done nothing. If it was my son I would never see her again, & if it got "ugly" I would press charges. Please do something to stop it, even if all you do is keep her from being alone with him.
2007-09-27 19:47:23 · answer #1 · answered by NW71206 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
What I am trully bothered by is the fact that this started at 4 months old and now the boy is 4 YEARS old. Wow. I can tell you right now...I dont care who it was...if someone touched my baby boy...I would do my damndest to make that person pay. Physically or by law.Whatever. Probably physically first haha. That is beside the point. You are his MOTHER. Why shouldnt he be acting out. You and his father have let his go on ALL of his life LITERALY!! You are suppose to be the protectors, the ones he can run to if anything bad is happening. When a 4 year old feels abandoned and like there is nobody to run to...wht do you expect them to do but retaliate? I personally see this as neglect. I would not feel sorry if CPS came and took him away from both you , his father and the grandmother. Who lets their child be molested??? Why would you ever LET this happen? Becuase sweety...you just let your child lie in the arms of an abuser and you have done nothing about it. To me that makes you just as guilty. This should be eating you up inside by now knowing that yo uhave LET your baby be molested and abused. You need to call CPS, the police you need to press charges and get that woman investigated and you and your husband and deffinately your child need some counceling. Your poor baby needs all the help he can get right now. If I was you I would march in to my sons room and tell him how sorry you are for letting this go on. Tell him you wont let it happen again. Let the poor baby know that SOMEONE cares. If you cant do that and you cant bring yourself to press charges on your mother...then please give the boy up for adoption. Someone out there will love him and protect him like a real parent should. I cant imagine letting something happen to my son. He is 3 and helpless and inocent. Too bad there are people like you who let these things happen. Get off your butt and do something about this!
2007-09-27 23:43:19 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You have to keep your child away from your mother. And also teach your son, that he's done nothing wrong, but you people don't go around touching other people's private parts. You also need to contact the police,and find out what you have to do to file a restraining order against her, talk to your pediatrician and seek counseling. What your mother is doing is against the law, and is hurting your child. There is no rock and a hard place, there is your child and his abuser.
2007-09-27 21:00:26 · answer #3 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Your son is your first and top priority..end of story. If I were in your shoes the police would have already locked up my mom. Honestly I can't believe that you and your husband have allowed your mom unsupervised contact with your son if you have seen her touch him "many times". If you don't do something about this NOW you will also be held responsible for failing to protect your son. He is showing classic signs of abuse. Stop wasting time on message boards and get the little boy some help so that can heal and start enjoying his life again. YOU'RE HIS MOM...YOUR LOYALTY LIES WITH YOUR SON..NOT YOUR SICK MOM.
2007-09-27 20:42:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
ur son is 4 yrs old he doesnt lie and if somethign is happenting he will be the first to tell you so therefore she must be doing something with him that isnt right you need to get ppl to investigate on her cuz that is sick...ur son comes first and u shou;d want to protect him keep ur son away from her and have the polile called on her it doesxnt matter if she is ur mom no person has the right to that to a kid or anyone at that...ur son will be messed up for the rest of his life if u this continues
2007-09-27 19:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Jesus freakin' Christ...this has been going on for four YEARS?!?!?!?!?!?! Listen to yourself, woman!!! YOU are his mother are YOU are responsible for protecting him and YOU are letting this happen to him!!!!!! I can't tell you what to do that's any different than any of the other people answered here...keep him away from her, call the cops on her, get counseling for him, get counseling for yourself, and question what your motives have been over the past 4 years to just look the other way. Man, if I found out someone was abusing my son, I'd FREAKIN' KILL THEM...doesn't matter who there were. Your son has been scarred for life, thanks so much.
2007-10-01 08:51:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
WHAT THE HECK YOU SAW IT FOR YOURSELF take him to a doc if you don't beleive your own eyes and his habits what more proof do you need when he turn 14 and take a parent life for not trying to do anything about it it's seem like you o.k. with that ain't no way u stuck between a rock and a hard one and if you were your child is your wow you just became the parent of the year. I can't say no more on this topic i'm pretty sure people is feeling me on this if they aint call the people on you after reading this.
2007-09-27 23:12:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is has got to be the toughest decisions of your life. But it needs further investigating. Until its proven either way, your first priority is to your son. As hard as it might be, you must keep your son away from your mother. Take your son to a councellor straight away. Dont hold it off any longer. I am sorry for you and the decisions that you have to make.
2007-09-27 20:12:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
What does your gut tell you? Don't try to make excuses for her or rationalize anything away... what does your gut feeling say? And what does your son say? That's what you should care about and focus on.
If your son is coming to your for help and protection... and it's not provided he will not only continue to lash out but will get worse. You must figure out other care arrangements for your son. He should NOT be left alone with her, period.
I'm not saying that you have to completely cut her out of his life (if you still have lingering doubts about what's going on)... but you should NEVER, and I mean NEVER, leave him alone with her. Not even to go to the bathroom in her house.
Pedophiles are always the LAST people you'd suspect.
Protect your son. Career comes last.
2007-09-27 19:55:52 · answer #9 · answered by Jenni 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This is a really awful situation and im sorry to hear what has happened. The best thing to do is confront her and tell her what has been said. It may be a very sensitive issue but if this continues your son may have other problems in the future. For the time being do not leave him alone with her and try to watch her every move. if you catch her in the act tell her it is not acceptable. I hope you find a solution.
2007-09-27 19:45:15 · answer #10 · answered by Love to dance 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋