He has done this before and I tell him that I would appreciate that he does call to let me know he got home ok...and well, that he WENT home after being out at the bar. This is not the first time he hasn't called. Every time he says he's sorry. How many times can you "forget" and how many times is he going to be sorry?
2007-09-27 18:56:45 · 22 answers · asked by misshoney813 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is going to be sorry as many times as you allow him to get by with it. Tell him that if it is too much for you to ask him to call you and let you know that he is home okay, then he must not love you enough to be with you. Tell him the next time he pulls that bullsh#t, he might as well just stay out and look for another fool who will put up with it!! Evidentally you are not on his mind when he is out with his friends!!!
Sorry does not mean that I am sorry that I did it this time, and I will be sorry if it ever happens again.
Sorry mean that you regret doing it, and don't intend to let it happen again!!!
2007-09-27 19:06:09 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure all of us-- men *and* women, have been in a similar situation at one time or another in our relationships. That nagging feeling that our partner is being just plain rude and inconsiderate of our feelings. And yet, even when we explain ourselves they continue the same behavior without missing a beat. Sometimes they might say we're being a "nag", and other times agree that we've "got a point" and they promise to "be better". Whatever the discussion, the outcome always seems to be the same.
It's FRUSTRATING!
What I want to share with you might not be what you want to hear. But all I can do is give you the benefit of my experience and hope it offers some comfort--- maybe not right now, but hopefully in the long run. I always say, better to hurt a little now, than a whole lot down the road a few years.
Honestly, I wish there was some "magic pill" that made our significant others behave in a way never less than perfect. If we're giving 100%, we deserve nothing less than the best, right? However, the ugly truth is that no matter what faults we might find in our partner, they generally become worse over time... not better. Naturally there are exceptions. But they're rare.
And what if we actually MARRY this person at some point?
The fact is, everything they do *now* that you find even slightly annoying--- will bother you tenfold once you've made a committment to this person. Our expectations rise considerably once we've made it "legal"... while our tolerance level, plummets. We might believe we can make changes in our men, but sadly that just isn't the case most of the time.
I've discovered along the way that if I can't fully understand, and eventually come to embrace my partner's habits and general behavior-- good and the not-so-good... it's doomed to be a very unhappy union. I think you need to determine just how much your bf's habit of "not calling" bothers you. Can you live with it .... forever? Not just when he's out with the boys... but other occasions?
After all, it all boils down to your self esteem. If you wouldn't be inconsiderate of HIS feelings... he shouldn't be, of yours. You deserve the BEST. In your man, in your career, and in YOUR LIFE. If you're not getting it, it might be time to consider moving on.
I hope you give this situation a LOT of thought before you proceed. Take care, and best of luck to you.
2007-09-27 19:29:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is just a guess but I am thinking that you are in your 20's? I don't say that to be condescending at all either. I am 40 and when I was in my 20's this was my thinking too. The truth is this.....you already know in your heart that this is not the person that you will be spending the rest of your life with. You KNOW he isn't THE ONE and this causes some strange insecurity because you are giving yourself to him and he doesn't deserve it. It is like he has a part of your soul and is out there tossing it around town when you are not with him even though you have never seen him doing anything like this. You know the strange feeling I am talking about. You are trying to be strong and trusting like we are taught to be as women but the truth is really each time he goes out it is torture to the spirit and the only thing that relieves the pain is the phone call from him saying everything went OK when in your heart you knew everything was not OK even before he ever went out. You will know you are closer to the REAL one when he can go out and you don't feel this way even if he doesn't call. Be careful of any guy who tells you it is all in your head and turns it around like you are the one who needs help. Think about moving on. You know you deserve much better treatment and love. I know that doesn't answer your question but that is what you really wanted to know.
2007-09-27 19:12:11 · answer #3 · answered by vintagepink- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason you want him to call you is to let you know he hasn't gone home with some girl. You've got to admit this first. You don't care if he "got home ok." But also realize that he is probably drunk and may have likely just forgot. Or he doesn't want to be bothered by you when he's having a good time. Either way, why don't you just put an electronic monitoring device on your bf?
2007-09-27 19:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by smokey virginia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in this situation before. And it was that I wanted to know that my (ex) bf went home! It sucks, drives you insane! I'm out of that relationship now and with someone I trust completely, so I don't have issues like this. But the other side of the coin is my ex would go out with his friends (without me), but my new bf includes me in everything regardless of who he's with.
If it's a trust issue you need to do something about it! From experience laying awake and worrying about who he's with/if he's okay is simply not worth it.
2007-09-27 19:11:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be upset..because its not like your asking anything MAJOR from him..just a simple call so you know he is ok. I would be really mad in fact....if he cant do something as simple as that for you...who knows what else he is going to ""forget"" later on in the future.
2007-09-27 18:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really cares about you, i believe he should be thinking about you, drunk or not when he gets home to call you. Just a gesture to let u know he's okay and u r important in his life. If not then maybe u should question how important u r to him.
2007-09-27 19:27:21 · answer #7 · answered by ceecoffee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't be mad. You shoud be hysterical and kick his scrawny bottom out for good and find a guy like me, who doesn't go to bars, stays home, and enjoys giving you the attention you deserve. Why do women date losers?
2007-09-27 19:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by Crushed Ice 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's forgivable. He has been drinking and from experience once someone who has been drinking gets into a car and becomes settled they get sleepy very quickly. He may just go home and crawl into bed and fall asleep instantly.
2007-09-27 19:04:26 · answer #9 · answered by Wicked 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh man i know what your talking about. my ex used to do that s hit all the time! it drove me inzane! she would say like "ill call you when i get home" then i would wait like an idiot and after about an hour she wouldnt call and id get on myspace and there she would be online chillin. and if i said enything like "thanx for the call" or something of that sort, she would flip!. one reason why shes my ex
2007-09-27 19:01:49 · answer #10 · answered by Mczero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋