I have a shy student?

Question

I'm a pre-calculus teacher and I have a 16 year old girl in one of my classes. I had her last year as a student as well. Last year she was very quiet, but this year she seems even more quiet and is very shy. She won't talk to anyone and when someone tries talking to her she replies, but very quietly and she looks really nervous to talk to anyone. Whenever I glance over at her she always looks very distressed. But she's a very hardworker and gets all of her work done and is very thourough. I just don't know why she's so scared around people. What do you guys think? I decided to ask this in adolescent since teens may be able to give me some insight.

Answer 1

If her shyness has gotten worse I wouldn't be to sure that it's shyness. It might be social anxiety or something else. Those are some of the symptoms of a person who's been abused and is afraid of bringing attention to themselves. I would see if you could be friend her and see if she'll let you know what's wrong? I know that was the way that I acted after I was abused. I didn't want to bring attention to my self first because I didn't want anyone asking me what was wrong because I was afraid of the answer that I would have given. The second reason was because I was ashamed of what had happened to me. On the other hand I was really wishing that someone would ask me so that I could get the help that I needed to get it to stop. You really should try to see if you can befriend her and gain her trust so that you can help her. If it's social anxiety than knowing that someone believes in her will help that. and if it;s something worse she maybe looking for someone to help her.

Answer 2

I am still this way, so my thoughts are she simply is shy around people and has anxiety because she is self conscious and therefore is always thinking of what she looks like in front of people. This creates the anxiety. Like previous answerers stated, there is no immediate 'cure' for this. It's difficult and rare for any personality to drastically change so I hope you're not hoping for much. Realistically speaking, I doubt she will change to that outgoing person within the year as automatic peer anxiety is tough to beat. She might have problems at home yes, if you're concerned that would be a good idea to see if anything is going on in the home of course.
If it's strictly anxiety and shyness, then it's just going to take time to get over it-that and hanging out with friends that may make her more talkative-easing into a more sociable person comfortably. Making her talk in class, or putting her in situations where she is uncomfortable and on the spot will only draw her in and reinforce her tendencies as those are going to create more anxiety. Being comfortable with the people around her is a major factor. She's probably chatty with her closest friends. I don't know why, but I guess people like your student just care too much about the thoughts of other people and I wish I knew a way to get rid of that.
One thing I don't understand -why are you so concerned? Why does this quietness bother you?I fail to see why any teacher would go out and ask this question. It never seemed like an important matter to bring up-to me anyway. It's just the way people are sometimes. A problem at home is another story however.
If the anxiety is problematic however, then there are medications to keep those feelings under reasonable control.
Someone also said big classrooms will make it worse-I beg to differ. I prefer larger classrooms. I have 3 classes in auditoriums and I like all of them. More people means less attention on you. Smaller classrooms there is more interaction among all the people and a better chance for the teacher to call on you. Good luck with this and if you can't find the problem maybe you can refer her to a counselor.

Answer 3

Well the reason is probably a social anxiety disorder. The people around her at home may not have allowed her to be herself, or speak her mind. Or she may have been abused. Or she is worried about doing something "abnormal", possibly because of bad experiences. There are a lot of reasons people become shy. These reasons could be in the past or the present. But besides the initial reasons, there is always a comfort issue with shyness. Her placement in class may make her social anxiety worse (in the back is best). The size of the class, if large, will make it worse also. The social stratification of High school itself makes it worse (college will be much better for her). And i bet she has a lot to say, just doesn't say it. The quiet ones are always more full of personality then u think. In some of my classes my social anxiety would be so bad, i would know every answer but never raised my hand once. And if you're one of those teachers who require verbal participation, that's every shy persons nightmare. Social anxiety is really tough to get over, it normally takes medication to calm the nerves. There is only a few things u, as the teacher, can do. U could try getting her to talk after class in a casual manner (still kinda scary), u could let it be, or you could try getting help for her elsewhere, like the school mentor. If its really a noticable problem, u might want to try to contact her parents and tell them your concerns. There is nothing wrong with her, but if it's really bad it will make the rest of her high school years much easier for her if she gets treatment.

Answer 4

Maybe you could talk to her other teachers and see how she is in their classes She could just be shy...or maybe even have a crush on you....or uneasy around men. Maybe some of the other teachers could get her to draw some pictures. Sometimes you can tell a lot from pictures and handwriting. Have you asked her about this? You could ask her privately. But, be careful how private. I wouldn't be alone with her..just maybe talk quietly to her at your desk while the others talk quietly in class. (ha ha ha ha ha...I used to be a teacher....if your class can talk quietly, you're a better one than I am, Gunga Din!) Find out if she's ever been sent to the school counselor. I'm sure you can find out about her family and everything else from her records and past teachers. Just keep it confidential.

Answer 5

Umm Well I could answer this since I was the same way. Social anxiety. I wouldn't talk unless talked to, and probably looked nervous all the time. Noone else can understand exactly how it feels unless they're the same way. It sucks, because I am somewhat better now, but still get anxious and my bf just doesn't understand how I can be so shy and it's very very irritating trying to explain since he doesn't understand how it feels. I am 19 now and have been on paxil, prozac, celexa, cymbalta, wellbutrin, and effexor , not for depression but for social phobia/anxiety, and i am a whole lot better than I was a few years ago!

Answer 6

I was really shy at school..

does she blush? That could be a reason, i used to blush sometimes when people spoke to me, made me feel so embarrassed so i just kept my head down a lot.

She's just shy, some people are.
Social anxiety i guess.

DO NOT keep picking on her to answer questions - it will not work and she will hate it and probably you.

I'm fine now i've left school, i was always fine out of school anyway - i'm not sure why.

People are extremely judgemental at school, she's probably just scared of what people might think of her.
It's not like she can get away from them if she does/says something embarrassing.

Just let her be...

Answer 7

I use to be the same way so I can understand her too. If you try talking to her, be nice and patient you may eventually win her confidence in you and she may relax and learn to trust you. She can't changed over night and nothing anybody does will change her. The change has to come from within but with nice people surrounding her and helping her feel comfortable that will help greatly. Not that the world will change for her either, but patience and kindness will relax her.

Answer 8

that means that there is really something permamanent or long-term thing that is really bothering her.. It's not just having a bad day. If it's been years well it's probably about family because that's one thing that she daels with everyday. Or maybe she is insecure about something.. Maybe she can't afford the things that her classmates have or she thinks she's ugly.. It has to be something permanent or has been around her all the time...

Answer 9

I was pretty much like that in grade school and high school. I was depressed, but I didn't get treatment until I was in my 20s.

I was a social outcast in school; I got picked on a lot and it was an unpleasant experience for the most part.

Answer 10

i used to be like this in school im 17 and still kinda shy and everything is because of all this stress and peer pressure of what everybody thinks about you shes just shy its not really a problem