We've been together for over a year and he is my first sexual partner. I enjoy giving him oral sex and don't mind doing it for a long time but it has never gotten him to climax. I feel like I'm just not good at the entire sex thing and am in way over my head thinking I can please him having no previous experience.I've tried several different techniques and things and nothing.I feel so bad that he's not climaxing and that he's probably also having unsatisfying sex. I feel bad that at his age (38) he is putting up with an inexperienced 26 year old. I don't know why I waited so long to have sex; I now regret not getting experience. Should I just break up with him and put us both out of our misery?
2007-09-27 17:05:15 · 23 answers · asked by ConfusedHMD 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No! You don't know what the problem is, so you can't assume it's you at all. It sounds like it may be him, and it may not be a problem at all just someone with extra control, or who isn't all that turned on by oral.
Don't project onto yourself what you are thinking. TALK with him, get some communication going so that you know for sure what is going on and aren't just making stuff up to get paranoid over. If he is like me then he may be able to control himself for an extended period of time, and I don't know what you call a long time. LOL for a lot of guys an hour is too short, and for some of the girls I've been with giving head for 3 minutes was 2 and half minutes too long. He's probably enjoying the hell out of getting head that long, but feel's that he shouldn't come in your mouth, which sounds exactly how I learned not to let go without making sure that she didn't mind. The first time that I let loose without getting permission will remain memorable because she almost beat me up.
He also might be able to hold on longer because he may have taken care of himself beforehand. If I know you like to go down, then I'll make sure that I don't end the session too early, and one of the ways to do that is make sure I'm not primed up and ready to shoot at the slightest touch or breath.
And I'll tell what, if he's climaxing at any point, then he's not having unsatisfied sex. He's having great sex! What's happening has nothing to do with you or how you're performing in bed, but you need to talk with him to see what's going on. Also talk with a professional, especially on the net here since it's so easy and free. If things are that bad, you'll probably find out that it's nothing to do with you, but something warped about him.
2007-09-27 17:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by concupiscent_mephisto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also have problems achieving orgasm from oral sex. I think a lot of men do. Try keeping the same rhythm for an extended time. This seems to work for me. Every time you change the rhythm or stop (even for a second) the feeling changes and the process of building an orgasm starts over.
2007-09-28 09:05:22 · answer #2 · answered by Fletcher F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop thinking too much. Some guys just don't want or choose to come this way.
Some like this as their warm up and want to finish off with the real thing.
Others do not like to finish in your mouth or may just not be connected/wired that way. For all you know it was his past some former gal gaging or biting him that "caused damage/hang up" for him. If he is not making an issue of it you don't either. don't worry.
If you want more info to try different methods Cosmopolitan Magazine sometimes runs articles on how to please your man etc....
Relax -it is a big deal to teens who all they get is oral nothing else not an adult man who has been around the block!
Your age/virginity is not the issue
2007-09-28 00:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by Woman in Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey
I've been with my boyfriend for almot 2 months and i have never made him climax by giving him oral sex either. It feels really weird that he hasn't! He says he enjoys but find it hard to *** that way. I usually do a mixture of head and hand, maybe that will help with getting him there. Try doing both at the same time.
Other wise just talk to him about it, if he is unhappy with it talk about what will make it beter. COMMUNICATE :)
2007-09-28 00:13:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might ask him what he thinks, that's rather more important than what we think! It can also help to ask what he likes, if there's anything in particular he'd like you to do, or not do. Feedback is a good thing!
I actually have a friend (no, really) who says he's a guy like this... he just, never, uh. Yeah. He claims his current partner is quite experienced and has taken it as a challenge, but with no success -- well, he says enjoyable, so success in that, but no fireworks until they switch to something else. He has no clue why. So it may even be nothing at all to do with you!
2007-09-28 00:12:45 · answer #5 · answered by Katie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel so bad about it. It's pretty common. I had a male friend once that couldn't orgasm from oral sex no matter what I did or how long I did it. I tried just about everything & he couldn't orgasm from anything other than his own hand or sex. It just takes different things for different guys.
I wouldn't suggest breaking up unless there are other things that are bugging you. You don't have to stay with a guy just because he's your first man.
2007-09-28 00:09:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
That is wierd. No guy I have given oral, could last more than 5-10 minutes! Ofcourse I have given oral to guys who are 25-28 only....Maybe 38 yrs is giving him the power to hold on??
Anyway try reading some oral books - your technique may not be great....improve fast before he dumps you.
2007-09-28 00:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this the thing.... it may be him. Guys hit their sexual peak early 20s so he is way past his. Women on the other hand hit theirs mid to late 30s... so the best has yet to come for you!!
If the oral sex is the only problem I wouldnt break up over it. If its not making you happy though just don't do it. what has he said? I bet he is glad your doing it to him as most of us women don't like going down there
2007-09-28 00:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey thats no reason to break up!
Blowjobs arent as simple as you might think it is..or as what it is portrayed to be on porno..diferent guys like different things or techniques..
If it makes you feel any better, i have never climaxed from BJs either..though i once came close as there was this one girl who observed what i do to my member when its not inside her..so observe your man, make sure he's turned on with what ur doing..some guys like silent BJs,other noisy,clean,sloppy, a lil slap and violent,deepthroat.. its difficult to tell which guy prefers which..
so, good luck in giving more head!
2007-09-28 00:16:18 · answer #9 · answered by Ironlung 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That part of a man's body is very sensitive. Even the slightest rub of your teeth can be very uncomfortable and make it hard to come. Don't worry, you can't use pressure without hurting him and its obvious he needs pressure (his hand). So there is nothing any woman can do to make him come like that. Even if you are the greatest in the world he wouldn't come. All you can do is try and it seems that you have tried and that you care. What more can a man ask for? Good luck
2007-09-28 00:24:24 · answer #10 · answered by Modern Man 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋