So SICK of worrying that my Parents will die, somebody please help me! this hurts!?

Question

i am the luckiest daughter alive to have the cooliest parents in the world who are happily married of 21 years. i can just cry right now for typing this, this has been bothering me for years, i have tried and tried and tried to get this out of my head, i imagine my mom getting attack by a pack of dogs, or her head cut off screaming so much, or my dad getting in a car crash or falling off the bridge into the water with sharks, i can't stop being worried because all of these are CAPABLE of happening. i hate this throb in my throat, i love them so much i can't stand of thought of knowing they wont be around one day, it hurts so bad and i need some help. im going to miss my mom's smile and she laughs alot, and my dad, hes such a geek and always wants me to be happy, i hate that they are working, i rather work for them and let them relax. please is there anybody who can help me, im so sick of feeling this way, i worry every single day!!!! please please help.

Answer 1

Instead of spending the time you have with them worrying about something bad happening, just enjoy each and every moment with them. We all know that our loved ones are going to die one day but obsessing about it won't change anything. Enjoy each day you have with them and don't worry about the future. We none of us have any guarantees about the length of our lives-so live each day to the fullest without worries about tomorrow. Worrying only causes stress and ages you. It doesn't change anything. If you are worrying about something you can't fix, it is a waste of time and energy that you could spend enjoying the time you have with your parents.

Answer 2

Some of the things you listed that you worry about are unrealitstic which is what you need to tell yourself. I've worried about my parents if they are gone for a while and don't call or answer their phone. Some things you said are realistic such as a car crash. Those things happen. Everyone is gunna die at one point but living in constant worry will not stop it from happening. I'm nearly possible that your mom won't get her head cut off or fall off a bridge. I'm also sure your dad won't get attacked by dogs. Those things you just need to brush off your shoulder and realize that they are slightly unrealistic. As for car accidents, like i said, they happen but I'm sure your parents are careful.

Maybe the reason you think this is because you are telling yourself that you need to appreciate them more, spend more time with them, etc. I'm not saying you don't but maybe you want more. You should enjoy everyday you have not only with your parents but other family and friends. Don't worry about the bad stuff. When it happens it happens but right now focus on the wonderful life they have with you.

I hope i didn't depress you at all. Feel better and remember worry less!

Answer 3

You seem to have obsessive thoughts about your parents dying.. This could be a type of OCD (obsessive/compulsive disorder) which is a thought disturbance caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Or, if not that, it just could be you are very young, very attatched to them and feel that if you lost them now, you would not be able to cope with life. Like you NEED them.. I always wondered how I would manage when my mom or dad died someday.. Well I was 51 when my dad just suddenly died from a stroke. It was a shock to all of us and I still miss him so much. But, my life didn't change except that he isn't here for holidays and to see his 2 beautiful great grandsons. But, mom is still here (86) and I know I will be losing her not to far down the road also.. I am divorced and live all alone. I was always close to both my parents.. But, as we do grow older, we do become less dependent on them and realize that even if they die, our lives go on and we will be ok.. Yes, miss them terribly, but not clinging like the vine we were when they were raising us. If these thoughts keep bothering you, see a therapist that can help you sort out why you are thinking and feeling these things and maybe be able to help you deal with it all.. Life is too short.. We can't be so worried about what might happen tomorrow, that we can't enjoy today.. Talk to your doctor about these thoughts and feelings.. Good Luck Kiddo..

Answer 4

I do understand how you feel -- well, sort of -- because I worried about things like that somewhat when I was young. However, my parents had me late in life, and were more "grandparent age", so there was some justification in my worries. (They both ended up living well into their eighties, and I was mature enough to deal with it when they did pass on.)

But I do think that your worrying has gotten really out of hand. You do realize that most of these disasters are extremely improbable, don't you? Do you worry about other things this drastically? Or is it just your parents? You may be confusing anxiety with love, or you may be thinking that if you worry hard enough, nothing bad can happen.

I think that you would benefit a lot from talking to a professional, like a therapist or a counselor. You could try calling your community hotline, or ask a school counsellor -- there are low-cost opportunities available. Or, try talking to your parents, and tell them just how MUCH you worry -- like you told us. I'm sure they don't want you to be so anxious, and they might be able to help you find a therapist to help you deal with this.

Answer 5

Well, first of all you need to be glad that you have them and enjoy them while you they are alive.

Don't worry about the future because no matter how much you worry it is still out of your hands. I am not trying to sound heartless about your fear, but I lost my Mom April, 3rd 2006. I was 23 and was not ready to let her go, She is gone, I am continuing my life, YES I MISS HER TERRIBLY, but sweetie part of life is death, and most of us will lose our parents before we die.

It is out of your hands completely! There is nothing you can do, except love them while you have the chance, and the time you spend worrying about how they will die, is time you spend making memories that will be worth remembering.

I promise you as someone who has lost their Mom at a young age. You will regret this if you don't stop worrying about the "how's" and "what ifs" . Just love them and you will be okay if they were to pass away. Now just love them before it is too late.

I don't want to sound rude! I just know what happens after death of a parent.

Answer 6

That is a strong sign of an Obsessive Compulsive Order, and leads to oc activity too. As some one with a MINOR OCD (I'm dermatillomanic - i.e. I mess with my skin all the time) it really sucks.

They don't really have a medication just for that, but a combination of therapy and an anxiety med works well. I do things to retrain myself (flipping a rubber band, for example) and take celexa. You might be told to instead envision something wonderful happening to your parents.

Please talk to professional - if you control it early it will be a lot easier on you.

Answer 7

Although these things you worry about are possible, how LIKELY are they to happen? The chances of your Mom being attacked by a pack of dogs is minimal. Have you talked to your parents about your fears? If not, you should.

When I was much younger I used to worry about someone breaking into our house at night. It never happened and I never knew anyone who it happened to but I used to be consumed with that fear. I got over that fear by thinking about how likely it would be to happen. Of all the houses in the safe, quiet neighborhood I lived in, how likely was it that someone would choose our house? Not very. But I got the idea into my head because my parents always watched the news on TV and guess what was on the news.

My suggestion to you would be that when these kinds of thoughts start to creep into your mind, you immediately replace them with something positive about your parents. This is mind over matter. You can control what you do with your thoughts. You just have to be aware at all times of what you're thinking. If you watch the news or read the newspaper or books that are about death, stop doing that. You should focus on positive thoughts and images relating to your parents. Do this on a consistant basis and you'll soon realize that the thoughts of their death have started to shrink away.

There will come a day when your parents will no longer be around but that doesn't have to be any time soon. While they are here, make sure you tell them just how much you love and appreciate them. Celebrate your Mom's smile and her laugh. When you love someone so much, it's natural that you might be afraid of them leaving you. But if you continually focus on those negative thoughts you will attract negative things to you. Think happy, positive thoughts about your parents being with you for many, many more years to come. They will continue to be happy and healthy and will celebrate being grandparents some day. By focusing on the positive, you will draw more positive energy to you and will have your parents around much longer.

Answer 8

your anxiety is out of control. i used to have horrible daydreams of my kids dying in horrid ways, but then my place, people and situations changed and it got better, along with some mood stabilising meds. i only needed them for a little while, now i don't think about that kind of stuff. it's horrible how surreal those feelings can be, and there is help for it. tell your doc about it.

Answer 9

I think this level of anxiety and worry calls for some professional help. You aren't enjoying what you have right infront of you because you are too busy worrying.

Answer 10

You need to get professional help.