My 4 year old son has not settled on a handedness yet...?

Question

...and his teachers are putting more emphasis on it than I think they should. His scholastics rank very high in class and he is the youngest child. He has some fascination with numbers (ie: he is very interested in what number the song is that is playing on the cd he's listening to, how many songs are on a cd, what station the radio is on, etc.) and some motor skill issues such as toe walking. I feel like the teachers would like to diagnose him with autism, but my mother, who has taught Behavior Disorders for 24 years, says that he's not autistic, but I'm getting concerned by how hard the teachers are finding issue with him not choosing a "hand" yet. How concerned should I be?

Answer 1

He is 4. Don't listen to the teachers. so many of them are trying to diagnose anymore the are forgetting their job is to teach. Remember he is only 4 & he is fine.

Answer 2

I am not worried about his handedness--he may be ambidextrous--my grandfather was. I don't feel like it's autism either, as the mom of a child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (and ADD and bipolar). I'd plan an ARD meeting with the school's representatives and meet the district's psychologist, the principal, and his teachers. Tell them that you have some concerns, and they have some concerns, and that your son needs testing to find out if there are any learning problems or if his IQ is commensurate with his grades. He may have social disorders. Why hasn't he chosen a hand?

The school district should have the resources to accomplish all of this in a limited amount of time. At that point, another ARD meeting is called and an IEP (plan) is put into action.

I'm not that concerned, though a few things seem odd, but if I can get the school district to test my child, who may be a genius or may be ambidextrous, for free, I'd jump at the chance.

TX Mom
not an expert,
but I've been there

Answer 3

Usually children have picked a hand by age 2 or so-- so if he is still using both hands, he will probably always. That is a good thing, because most oftentimes than not, these children are most creative. Pay attention and see if he uses his left for certain tasks and his right for others. My son is the same way. As for numbers and such-- I'm not sure if you have heard of it, but Gardner suggests that people have multiple intellegences. Originally he found 8 different sorts, I think he just recently added another one to make 9. Not all people learn the same, so its good you take notice in how your son learns by knowing what he pays attention to. As for autism-- it is such a broad ranging disorder, it is difficult to assess. However, typically people with autism are antisocial and do not react to social situations. As for the teachers preasuring assessments and stuff-- unfortunately that is the day and age we are in. Bush has passed the NCLB (no child left behind) act which requires testing after testing after testing of all sorts. However, as a parent, you have the right to opt out. I certainly understand your frustration-- if you want, address the situation to your pediatrition. They will be able to best assess your child for any developmental delays. Otherwise, go with your gut. Good luck!

Answer 4

I never did choose a hand :) I used to drive my teachers crazy when I was in kindergarten through 2nd grade because I would write with one hand until it got tired, and then I would switch! I was always at the top of my class and graduated from college at 20 years old...I certainly wasn't autistic! To this day I write and do just about everything with both hands depending on which is most convenient at the time. Don't worry about this trait in your son; I think it is a great blessing to be ambidextrous. Just think...if he ever breaks an arm, he won't have any troubles at all getting along with his other hand ;)

Answer 5

Maybe he's ambidextrous. He can take his time learning to write, for heaven's sake, he's only 4.

As a special note, I was left handed until I had a head injury at 5 years old. I was right handed after that. Since I learned to write with my left hand originally, I can print with either hand (still eat with the left hand, but everything else is pretty much right handed). I have a brother who was ambidextrous right from the get go and he prints with either hand.

Answer 6

You shouldnt be concerned until the actual signs of a real problem come along. Maybe your son is going to be ambidextreous *not that I know how to spell that*

My brother never chose a hand. All through first and second grade, they thought something was wrong with him. It turns out, his mind is just a little different, enabling him to use either hand as well as the other.

Answer 7

I wouldn't be concerned at all. In fact, I think I would encourage it, because it's a good skill to be ambidextrous (uses both hands equally well). Haven't you ever noticed that the left hand of right-handed people is so much weaker, and vice versa?

If they bring it up to you, tell them to just let it drop. He's four years old for goodness sakes, lots of kids haven't 'picked' a hand yet.

Answer 8

There is a good possibility that using both hands equally IS his handedness. Tell the teachers to leave him and you alone about it. The child will do what feels natural to him and no one should decide that for him but him/her. It is usually the mark of a very intelligent person if they are naturally ambidextrous. Good luck!!

Answer 9

There's nothing wrong with your son...his teacher are simply too anal retentive. I have actually LAUGHED in a teacher's face because she was "concered" that my daughter didn't hold a pencil/crayon "properly". That she still had a "toddlers gait"...it has gotten to the point where educators don't want children to be different, to be individuals. They want all children to fit certain molds and will put a lable on anything that isn't like everyone else. There is NOTHING wrong with this child other than the educators in this child's life.

Answer 10

Your mother is absolutely right! Handed ness should not be an issue: he may well be ambidextrous. It is difficult to understand the teacher's preoccupation with handedness.In any case, teachers should not be self appoited dianosticians. Do not let your concerns interfere with the enjoyment of your child.